A frightening experiment in love...
 

Hi
I'm new. I'm pleased to meet you. This is gonna be a short blurb about the most powerful spiritual experience I have had.
I'm going to need to provided a little background and as effectively I'm writing this on impulse, please excuse me if my writing lacks finesse, or grammar. I am sitting by the fire writing this on my phone so it's not ideal.

Ahem, I shall sum up...
I was raised in the UK in the church of latter day saints (mormons). I started smoking hash at 12 and left the church at 15. I left home and lived in a various environmental activist communes until I was 19/20 college, uni, job ect. I took a lot of drugs. I only mention it as it is relevant to the experience I had which was not drug related.

So, many years on I have a long left such a lifestyle being in many ways. I have a family I adore and a home.
Going through my bi-annual spirituality crisis and I decided to try one thing at a time when it came to this whole mess of a Christianity conflict which existed within me. It seemed and seems to me that loving everyone as your spiritual sibling was a key message. So I thought I'd give it a go.

It started in my vehicle. I'd half forgotten now about my endeavour as I was on my way to a job I had been called to. I found myself quietly judging another person as I passed them. I can't remember if it was a driver or pedestrian I was/am so used to quietly sneering at anyone I find remotely unlike myself that It could have been either. But I stopped, used a bit of CBT (cognitive behavioural therapy) and tried to remember that they were me. Showing the same fears and insecurities in a different way. My brothers and sisters.

It's funny when you have a biological sibling you are raised with you cant help but sympathise with there actions. Regardless you know deep down they are good. And that they have fears and problems. But you can't help but love them. It's a transcendent love. That's what I tried to feel and realise. And it worked. It really worked. But that was only the beginning.
Things got heavy. I managed after a week or so to really start loving everyone. It was awesome! But hard. I couldn't got to my mates house because I'd lost the ability to interact without being an insufferably nice. Think about it most humour is a criticism. A conflict. This bloke did this what a ****. This woman said this what an idiot. When you keep saying 'well you know there just insecure' in one way or another you don't quite play the game. You cant worship two masters as they say. If you love everyone you can't think the other way you just can't do both. It's think one way or the other. You can be negative and think loving things but not vice versa perhaps is more how it feels.

Then it got worse. I was praying a lot. The lords prayer in my own words as well as how id been taught in school (catholic). The bliss hit. It was unlike any drug but the europhia was there strong.
It was great at first but as the days rolled by my partner (now this is a killer) who was apparently experiencing the same thing at the same time..(yep that's the bit which makes this all sounds like guff) said it was too much and she wanted it to end. At that point I started to feel the same. It had been days and days and it was so intense it began to make us tearful.

In short I, we chose to stop thinking that way. A lot of thing became permanently fixed in our relationship after that. Shouting ended completely when it was a problem before. It was easy to go back. But the feeling lingers like an open door I fear to walk through.

Weird huh. Fricking scared the hell out a me anyway. Perhaps I had a breakdown? But Nat had it too. We do that a lot with mood eating etc but that could be just environmental.
Still. That's my story. If predictive text has sabotaged it I'm sorry but I ain't editi g this till tomorrow. When I'll probably delete it.

Welcome to the forum

and I thank you for sharing your story.

Thanks John
Ha looks like I can't delete it :/ awkward. This is why I don't do social media. Now it's out there and I feel a bit silly.
Oh well. Gotta laugh eh?

I felt the same thing when I started to talk about some of the events that happened in my life, don't worry! :biggrin:

That's kind of you. I feel better. Thanks

TannerHatch

Christs 2 commandments.

I like saying Love is my compass.
It can be overwhelming at times, but keep adjusting your life toward Love and you shall see
great outcomes.
Welcome by the way.

That's really wise, inspiring and just what I need to hear. Thank you:)

It's funny. I've been through a lot of spiritual experiences. From my experiences as a child/adolescent in the mormon church. Through the individual crises that resulted. To the natural communion I felt when living in the woods. The psychedelic experiences I had on lsd, ketamine, psilocybin and dmt. This was the most pronounced by such a huge huge margin.
Has anyone tried this? Would anyone like to try with me for say 3 days? Crazy idea but to have company in replicating the experience might me illuminating?
Just an idea...
If anyone wants to give it a go and see what happens I would be willing I think. It's simply a commitment to try to think a certain way, in love. I'd have to clarify some guidelines tho. As our perspectives will difer a lot.
If enough of us want to try ill start a thread

Try what........?

I'm up for 3 days in the days in the woods. I prefer the mountains in the spring in the Great NW. We already have sites near Packwood WA.(USA)
We can meet there in June if your near.I won't need any substances, if you were asking.

I do believe the talk of use of illegal substances are frowned on by
(SF)staff in certain ways.I believe I read something in the rules.

EDIT: I SEE YOU WERE RAISED IN UK SO YOUR PROBABLY NOWHERE NEAR THE GREAT NW.