Honestly I feel like I’m crazy
 

I feel crazy and scared and anxious.

I feel like I’ve lost it.

But I have these crazy experiences that make it seem real?

Like when I have a thought that’s positive and feel good - that there’s clarity in the literal sky - and it’s a nice day. And it feel like what I feel inside can change the world outside.

And I feel like sometimes the things I feel have caused this like whole situation in the world to manifest? Like somehow I’m responsible for all of the world’s grief right now.

And I feel crazy for even thinking that?

I know I’m crazy but some things have just been so uncanny!

While on or near to the Earth we constantly "swim in seas of emotional energies". The world is presently in turmoil. Perhaps you are a little more sensitive than most and are picking up on all the discord without fully realizing what the cause might be. I suggest this because we do sometimes tend to "internalize" the energies around us in less than happy ways.

From the perspective of nonduality there is no 'YOU' to be responsible. There is only Source appearing and looking and feeling like 'YOU'.

great explanation! :smile:

Best advice I know:

practice being creative, not reactive in every situation; be happy and confident!

It's okay to feel that way. Everyone goes through that phase at some point in our ascension journey.

And this journey is not a straight line but a fluctuating (up and down) upward curve. Much like alternating current (AC) in terms of electricity.

The vibration (fluctuation) keeps getting higher and faster, and that's what makes it feel like "crazy."

MysticalShaman, the only thing that can drive you crazy are your thoughts. That is one of the reasons I continue to do quiet meditation and silence my thoughts. Our thinking mechanisms is a tool, a great gift, that we have got to learn how to use it or it will use us.

Our thoughts will drag us around if we let them. How we think about ourselves and others is the most critical; our internal dialogue, or how we talk to ourselves can mold and shape our reality. Thoughts generate emotions and vice versa.

I am fortunate because I am retired from the work-a-day world and can go most of the day in inner silence. This helps tremendously to keep me sane, especially with all that is taking place these days. I once worked in the mental health field and saw lots of people who had thought disorders.

Lots of mental health centers today are teaching people how to quiet their mind in meditation. The word “crazy” is not a mental health diagnosis rather it is just a layman’s term people use when they feel out of balance. Learn to relax your body and your mind, and give your thoughts frequent vacations.

In inner silence there is no duality. The thinking mind is fraught with duality; pros and cons, compare and contrast, etc. In silence everything dissolves. Use your thoughts when you need to but don’t let your thinking run 24/7 else it may become a problem. Another way to describe inner silence is inner peace.

From a neuroscientific perspective it's called the Default Mode Network. It's narrative in nature, The Story of Me.

Meditation can lessen its activity, shifting more of its activity to a lateral network that's more self-referential. It also reduces the amount of time it takes the amygdala to recover from activation.

This is a great discussion of mindfulness. https://youtu.be/5TeWvf-nfpA?list=PL...ydVp1WpVnPNokg

Here's the part where Richard Davidson speaks to the amygdala followed by Jon Kabat-Zinn speaking to the DMN.

https://youtu.be/5TeWvf-nfpA?list=PL...PNokg&t=200 7

Thank you guys for all the wonderful responses.


See the thing is, I used to meditate. All the time. And I had this experience where I experienced myself become “all” and saw my individual self vanish into the content energy that was ongoing forever. It was an experience that changed how I perceive life and death and I felt so amazing afterwards for a week.

But then for a couple years after that, whenever I meditated, I started experiencing external visions

At first i saw the flower of life paper to me as the fabric of the universe - I mean I opened my eyes and it was everywhere literally in my field of vision where ever I looked. It scared my at first because I didn’t recognize what it was until I researched what happened to me.

Since then whenever I meditate I get these more intense visions. I’ve seen visions of people I know doing regular things - like drinking tea or having sex on an armchair appear an a apparition in front of me - it was super intense and I was not prepared for it.

But then those apparitions changed - I started to see these deformed like figures like Gangly alien teenagers or I dunno, weird demon like things - I honestly have no idea how to describe them but they seemed menacing and they would crowd around me and dance... this all happened while meditating completely sober - with my eyes open. If I close my eyes they still are there.



So I thought I should have a break from meditation.


But I’ve even had nights were my mind is quiet and I’m trying to sleep and these things appear.

The visions start of in this like translucent blue light material? But if I focus on them, I can bring them into full color and life. Like as if they are in a parallel universe.

So that’s why I don’t meditate anymore.

Part of me thinks I’m like being tricked by some prankster spirits....

But another part of me doesn’t believe in spirits or anything Because I’ve been to that place of oneness and all things.... so yeah....

That’s why I think I’m crazy and that somehow what I’m experiencing is being manifested into the world?

I dunno....

Honestly I need help but I feel like this is the only place I can talk without being locked up ������

MysticalShaman, I have heard “Shaman’s” talk about coming face to face with incredibly overwhelming experiences from other dimensions that really freaked them out. They are dealing with the mystical which does not fit into the everyday norm. All fear comes from ego; ego is the only thing in us that freaks out. Before I do meditation I often say a humble prayer. Humility is very important on the spiritual path. It is not so much what appears to us as it is how we react to what appears to us. If you develop a strong relationship with your deeper being, what some call your soul, you can readily dissolve any images or visions, which may appear to you.

You have to learn how to spiritually protect yourself otherwise you open yourself up to all sorts of things. Everything is about learning, in my opinion, and the most important lesson is to “Know Thyself.” You can learn from the visions you are having if you did not have such fear of them or adversely judge them. Give attention to your fear and your fear will grow. I have no idea what your visions are about but I do believe that you have options in how you choose to deal with them.

You can go see a psychiatrist or counselor who may put you on some type of medication to stop the visions, you can go see a spiritual counselor, a medium, psychic, etc., but you have to find one you can trust and who is not expensive, or you can try to work through this yourself using self help information. It is up to you. Crazy just means you are experiencing something that you, and others, may not consider normal. Labeling yourself as being crazy will not help you.

You need to learn how to separate yourself from your visions in a very calm way without any fear or anxiety. It is only if you push them away and detach that you may be able to see them as they are, and maybe even learn from them. In quiet meditation there is no fear, a quiet peaceful mind has no fear, fear comes from a reactive mind. Don’t try to figure this out, just try to let go of it. Nothing can get you unless you invite it into your life.

It does not matter whether the visions are real or not, what matters is that you find peace within yourself. Visions are often messages from our subconscious. Try writing these things down and examine them to look for patterns, or maybe what they may mean to you personally. It may get to a point where you will need some type of professional intervention, but be aware most professionals most likely will classify what you are experiencing as hallucinations.

Regardless, you need to find someone you can trust, a friend, relative, etc., and talk to them about this; especially if it keeps bothering you the way that it seems to be. If you do nothing it may go away all by itself or it may get worst. What we give our attention to will grow. Take relaxing baths and do other things to relax your body and mind. With this experience, and every other experience that you have in life, you have and opportunity to learn more about yourself.

Peace and Good Journey