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-   -   sometimes I feel I should give/shut up (https://www.spiritualforums.com/vb/showthread.php?t=11173)

Sungirl 16-02-2011 11:29 AM

sometimes I feel I should give/shut up
 
Every now and then I have a bout of being cross at myself. I'm in that place at the moment :redface:

I don't know whether this is my ego or not...

When people talk to me about their problems I have a habit of offering things they can try to fix it. I also have a habit of sharing information, things that I have learnt that I think people are interested in.

I also have a habit of playing devils advocate because I can often see another side to things.

In the end I feel it is driven by the need to help people and not a "look what I know" thing... but I feel people take it as that.

Yesterday I was trying to get my work colleague to think more positively, explaining the concept of kinesiology (sp?). In the end I got a cross sounding "yeah ok!!"

I was just trying to help, understanding that if she believes she is going to get something wrong she probably will.

I get that these things should be given unconditionallyand if someone appears to have considered what I have said, even if they say it's not right for them, that's fine. But, to get scorned just because I am trying to help people is wearing thin.

I am starting to worry that I sound like a know it all and thinking I should just shut up... but when I can see an option that someone can try why should I keep it to myself?

I constantly look to see if this is ego driven, is it about me looking good? No, it's me not wanting people to suffer unecessarily when they can work on their stuff.

Maybe I'm like a spiritual "ex smoker"... I've worked hard to get where I am. Learnt a lot, tried a lot of methods and spent time working on myself on so many levels I don't understand when other people don't want to do the same.

I don't really know what I am asking,.... do other lightworkers come across this? How do you cope with it... do you keep going or just give up and let people be miserable?

Could do with a spiritual hug please :hug3: :icon_frown:

Sungirl 16-02-2011 11:35 AM

it's just happened again and it wasn't even anything spiritual.. My friend just moaned about something on a game on facebook and I suggested an answer and she didn't even acknowledge that I had suggested it.

There must be a lesson here for me... I have no idea what it is tho :(

Neville 16-02-2011 11:43 AM

Quote:

I don't really know what I am asking,.... do other lightworkers come across this? How do you cope with it... do you keep going or just give up and let people be miserable?




When you try to help. sometimes you do arrive at a point when your help is apparently not working. Its disappointing , but there is no help for it so we have to move on.

Here is that hug. :hug:

John Mortimer 16-02-2011 11:49 AM

The sun gives forth its light unconditionally and does not withhold that light if people don't acknowledge it or use it to the highest potential.

I reckon I've been pretty close to where you're at just now and the lesson I had to learn, (sill learning), is non-attachment to the results of allowing my light to shine.

The way I see it, we are here to be open doors for the light of our higher Self to shine in this world. We can always be seeking to be better open doors and to allow the light to shine without getting too colored by our ego. What is more fundamental is that we don't decide to withhold our light based on conditions we set up.

Problems, whether personal, societal or global can never be solved at the same level of consciousness that created the problems. A higher consciousness is required that gives unconditionally without any attachment to the results of giving.

in progress 16-02-2011 11:54 AM

Did they ask you for help? If they didn't then it's your ego getting you in trouble! Even if you mean well. If they didn't ask then you are interfering w/ their free will.

And whatever kind of attitude you feel is being directed at you or find yourself faced w/, you'll find the very same within you directed at yourself. Something to become aware of and heal so you can clear it.

Try not to be offended but try to be an observer of what's going on. Step back and watch what they do and how you react to it.

Topaz 16-02-2011 12:05 PM

Big hug .. I know how you feel . It's a big lesson for me too x

Silver 16-02-2011 01:48 PM

Quote:

Maybe I'm like a spiritual "ex smoker"... I've worked hard to get where I am. Learnt a lot, tried a lot of methods and spent time working on myself on so many levels I don't understand when other people don't want to do the same.



It would seem many have been or are where you're at in this.

Many of us may express frustration but it is just that, expressing it, not necessarily looking for the answers, because THEY are not at a spot mentally / emotionally / psychically, to even believe there ARE real answers to their problems. They are NOT ready to RECEIVE appropriate actions to take, to fix or work on their issues. Then, people like you have to learn to step back a respectable distance and accept that these folks may not be ready for real answers.
:hug2:

Miss Hepburn 16-02-2011 02:48 PM

Boy, do we ever have to be sensitive to what feels right!!!

I just wrote to a friend that her Naturopath is using her as a guinea pig - guessing as to what she might be allergic to ---as months go by and she is still suffering from itching.
I told her there are definitive ways to find out what is the problem.
The Naturopath is not even using kineseology as a basic diagnostic tool!
She is truly guessing.

And you know what?
I deleted the whole email - it felt yucky -that it would just confuse my friend.

I'll wait for another moment when it feels right to talk with her - without undermining her ND.

:wink:

Internal Queries 16-02-2011 03:40 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Silvergirl
It would seem many have been or are where you're at in this.

Many of us may express frustration but it is just that, expressing it, not necessarily looking for the answers, because THEY are not at a spot mentally / emotionally / psychically, to even believe there ARE real answers to their problems. They are NOT ready to RECEIVE appropriate actions to take, to fix or work on their issues. Then, people like you have to learn to step back a respectable distance and accept that these folks may not be ready for real answers.
:hug2:



well gee ... it might be that what one offers isn't what the person needs. maybe one doesn't have the "real answers" for that particular person.

i can't help but see some egotism in the presumption that one has the "real answers" and they apply to every and anyOne.

Medium_Laura 16-02-2011 03:55 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by tilia
Every now and then I have a bout of being cross at myself. I'm in that place at the moment :redface:

I don't know whether this is my ego or not...

When people talk to me about their problems I have a habit of offering things they can try to fix it. I also have a habit of sharing information, things that I have learnt that I think people are interested in.

I also have a habit of playing devils advocate because I can often see another side to things.

In the end I feel it is driven by the need to help people and not a "look what I know" thing... but I feel people take it as that.

Yesterday I was trying to get my work colleague to think more positively, explaining the concept of kinesiology (sp?). In the end I got a cross sounding "yeah ok!!"

I was just trying to help, understanding that if she believes she is going to get something wrong she probably will.

I get that these things should be given unconditionallyand if someone appears to have considered what I have said, even if they say it's not right for them, that's fine. But, to get scorned just because I am trying to help people is wearing thin.

I am starting to worry that I sound like a know it all and thinking I should just shut up... but when I can see an option that someone can try why should I keep it to myself?

I constantly look to see if this is ego driven, is it about me looking good? No, it's me not wanting people to suffer unecessarily when they can work on their stuff.

Maybe I'm like a spiritual "ex smoker"... I've worked hard to get where I am. Learnt a lot, tried a lot of methods and spent time working on myself on so many levels I don't understand when other people don't want to do the same.

I don't really know what I am asking,.... do other lightworkers come across this? How do you cope with it... do you keep going or just give up and let people be miserable?

Could do with a spiritual hug please :hug3: :icon_frown:

all THE TIME! :D You're not alone. Some people are not ready to hear the positives and how to change. Most just want to complain about their lives and have sympathy. I'm like you and I offer help and not give them reasons to be cross or complain. Being that I live in a place where what I do is not mainstream and I'm a "devil worker", I get it a lot.

What can you do? Keep doing what you're doing. If they don't want the help, so be it. It shouldn't stop you from trying. You can also try asking this.
"Oh that's pretty awful ... would you like to know what I would do if I were in your situation?" Put it on what you would do. Some people feel that maybe we are trying to be all high and mighty. Telling them that they lack strength or maybe they feel we are assaulting THEIR egos by offering help. (Which they may take as "she thinks I'm stupid".)

So I put it on me.. "Oh if I had that, I would probably do this."


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