more with the
hurt him
for his own good.

I get so tired of eating that
all the time.

It seems like
it is the only food
you know how to make.

If you will excuse me
I'm going to go off and cry now.

he did figure out
that what he can think to want
can't really
come to pass.

It isn't fair
to anyone
really
let alone you.

in his saner moments,
he is able
to acknowledge that.

no matter how
he might think
you've slighted him
all these years,
there are still some things
that just can't come to be

but at the same time
he doesn't want
to hit
'rewind, replay'
to what went on before.

sigh.

***

Fleeting forms
What is reality
Divine love warm
Pulsates in continuity

***

i'm not sure
I'm liking
this recent trip
I'm taking
down memory lane.

Last nights trip into the forest
was vexing
to say the least
but I had forgotten
exactly how awful
my time with you
really was
so I guess it was for the best.

I guess though I'm still silly
should I repeat
what I did before
with the insane idea
that the result could be different
even though that never ever works?

Or should I
just cut and run.

My head hurts.

Sigh.

Hi Sweetie!

(shyly) Merry Christmas.

Hi sweetie!

all this talk
of death
should have me
shaking in my boots
I suppose

but
I don't really care
if I'm dead I'm dead
good riddance!
(probably)

Not that I sometimes
wouldn't like
it to be just that way
although...

well anyways
after browsing some posts
herein
I read
the unlucky chapter
in corinthians
again

and some other stuff
and thought
I might like to try
my hand at it

you know
you not wanting me
and all
I have to have
SOMETHING
to do with my time
lol

But it seems very hard
even not to be irritable
so I got discouraged
almost immediately

I may try
just a little bit
although
even though
they say
it is a good thing
I really don't know
good from bad
any more

it is all kidna hzy

But I do know
the rules are the rules
and I try to follow them now.

something about a yellow brick road?

by the way
the only reason
I'm so quiet
nowadays
is
it came across my desk
you think me quite the nag.

So I thought
I would give you the gift
of being quiet towards you.

Happy holiday! Falling
I wish you a much happier 2020
Filled with laughters and love

Hi Z!

I'm not really upset about anything right now, things are kinda leveling out a bit I guess lol! For the moment at least I seem to have figured out not to deliberately touch the electric fence :smile:

hope you are having a happy holidays!

feeling despondent
got struck
in the heart
by someone
who never cared
I was so wrong
sigh.

meanwhile
trying to avoid
this new person
who promised
to bring me
more schizophrenic nightmares.

maybe I'll go cry.

well
not being
too fanciful
right now

didn't expect
more than was there

well anyway
I don't talk about certain things
any more

but regardless
I'm having a good time with the things
that I've loved to do
since I met you

meanwhile
all this talk of celebrities
has me bored

one I was with in another time
but she was about a bit this one
as another person
than as her celebrity self
I just figure
she is like a memory

which I suppose is ok
since everyone says
she is a floozy anyway?

Not that I wouild know...

another came literally
marching into my dreams
when my last flame
'died'
for a me

and stuck around a while

and the third I've had no contact with
just a name
on a big silver screen.

I think
there are
Too many things
I've gotten too lame about
with fanciful thoughts
but it doesn't really matter any more.

and then there is you

I suppose
I should disbelieve
this 'second coming'
as just another farce

but I'm having fun
not taking it
too seriously
regardless.

Trips to the forest aside...