help with the bereved

[whispers]

Hi lovely SF members
I was not sure where to put this but hope you can help.
A dear friend of the family sadly lost her fight against cancer. Throughout her battle she was strong, courageous and lived a very spiritual life. We all loved her very much and she will be greatly missed but my sister was especially close to her.
They had been friends for twenty years and shared both of their spirtual journeys and many great memories together. My sister was very strong and gave a reading at Debbies funeral, helped with all the arrangements and basically amazed us all with her ability to smile and spread warmth to those so very upset with her passing.
Now that has changed, my sister has withdrawn and is very down. I have talked to her but cant seem to get through to her. I remind her that Deb would not want to see her this way but it doesnt make any difference. She carries a lot of guilt and is very involved with Debs teenage children as my sister feels responsible for them.
I would like to ask you lovely people to send healing thoughts to my sister but also any advice on what to say to her to bring her back to her own family too for christmas time.

Much love, peace, and wishes to you all
x

[Native spirit]

:hug3: Hey Whispers,


Sending Healing and positive thoughts coming to your sister.


Namaste

[angel62]

healing and prayers sent to your sister whispers shes grieving at the moment but it wont be to long before she will be her self again it take a bit of time but she will pull through this time with her friend by her side and the white feathers she will drop in front of her
many blessing angel

[eraser]

There's no timetable for experiencing grief. It differs with each individual. Hopefully, your sister will start feeling better soon. About all you can do is be available for her, should she wish to unburden herself at some point.

[norseman]

I gave this as a reading at a recent funeral. It seemed to touch a few people. Something from Gibran


On Death
Kahlil Gibran

You would know the secret of death.
But how shall you find it unless you seek it in the heart of life?
The owl whose night-bound eyes are blind unto the day cannot unveil the mystery of light.
If you would indeed behold the spirit of death, open your heart wide unto the body of life.
For life and death are one, even as the river and the sea are one.


In the depth of your hopes and desires lies your silent knowledge of the beyond;
And like seeds dreaming beneath the snow your heart dreams of spring.
Trust the dreams, for in them is hidden the gate to eternity.
Your fear of death is but the trembling of the shepherd when he stands before the king whose hand is to be laid upon him in honour.
Is the shepherd not joyful beneath his trembling, that he shall wear the mark of the king?
Yet is he not more mindful of his trembling?


For what is it to die but to stand naked in the wind and to melt into the sun?
And what is it to cease breathing, but to free the breath from its restless tides, that it may rise and expand and seek God unencumbered?


Only when you drink from the river of silence shall you indeed sing.
And when you have reached the mountain top, then you shall begin to climb.
And when the earth shall claim your limbs, then shall you truly dance.

[Adrienne]

Dear whispers :hug:

I am sorry for the loss of your dear friend of the family, Debbie. My thoughts and prayers are with her family, with your family and with your sister . May you all find some comfort in the knowing that Deb is always and forever in your hearts and in your memories.

healing thoughts and prayers for your sister, for you and for your family

love, peace & blessings to you all,
Dream Angel xx

[Xan]

whispers... If it were me I would give up trying to get your sister into a different frame of mind, and gently accept her as she is right now. This will give her more support than anything else you might do. People need time to go through the 'down' phase of grieving in order to gradually heal and rise above again.

Also, I would probably give her a book to help her understanding of what happens after death, and how beloved spirits may communicate with us... such as "True Stores of Messages from Beyond" by Julie Aydlott.


Xan

[LightFilledHeart]

whispers... If it were me I would give up trying to get your sister into a different frame of mind, and gently accept her as she is right now. This will give her more support than anything else you might do. People need time to go through the 'down' phase of grieving in order to gradually heal and rise above again.

Also, I would probably give her a book to help her understanding of what happens after death, and how beloved spirits may communicate with us... such as "True Stores of Messages from Beyond" by Julie Aydlott.


Xan

This is good advice. As one who has suffered bereavement, I must respectfully offer up another awareness. Books that speak of what happens after death and describe the after-life simply do not cut it for one who is struggling under the blanket of pain that accompanies loss of a loved one. The only thing that can begin to lift that unfathomable sorrow and suffering... that can begin to heal the aching void inside... is the actual experience of being out of body one's self, or receiving clear communications from those who have crossed into spirit. Nothing else will suffice to validate the reality of the continuation of life after the body has ceased to exist.

[Xan]

For sure, LightFilledHeart... There is nothing like an actual out of body experience.

On the other hand, many people do find reassurance and comfort in stories of messages from beyond death, and allow an opening to this communication themselves.


Xan

[Silver]

I am truly sorry for your loss, I am going through it for my son who died in February of this year. Yes, you just have to be gentle with her, there is no need to feel anxious for her to 'get through' or 'get over' it, especially in light of this being the core of the holiday season. And norseman, that was a very choice reading for the funeral. I may use it in the future if and when I have a scattering of my son's ashes.

[Greenslade]

whispers... If it were me I would give up trying to get your sister into a different frame of mind, and gently accept her as she is right now. This will give her more support than anything else you might do. People need time to go through the 'down' phase of grieving in order to gradually heal and rise above again.
Xan

She has her Path to walk, Honour her Path and keep your footprints next to hers. She'll need someone there when she comes out the other side of this.

[LightFilledHeart]

For sure, LightFilledHeart... There is nothing like an actual out of body experience.

On the other hand, many people do find reassurance and comfort in stories of messages from beyond death, and allow an opening to this communication themselves.


Xan

I'm sure you're right. It simply wasn't enough for me.

[whispers]

Thank you from the bottom of my heart to all you lovely unique lightworker.

I read all your advice and got straight on the telephone to my lil sis and we talked for an hour and a half! She apologised for not texting me as she didnt want me to reply as it hurt her to see "Deb" light up her phone.....my name is Deb too....I didnt realise and we had a little laugh about it and I told her to chang my name to Sis! I felt the warmth and strength from all your kind words, (thank you again) and asked her what she would like to do with Debs ashes. My sister really opened up and we made plans for the new year. She wants me to go to midnight mass on christmas eve and then to celebrate Debs life with a balloon release, just the two of us! I feel honoured to be part of her life again and all is good. Yes she is grieving immensely and after I told her that it was ok to feel the way she does right now, through tears I told her that I sometimes struggle to find the right words to say to her....her reply was simply...its ok, I struggle with the right words to say to myself.

Love to you all x

[whispers]

healing and prayers sent to your sister whispers shes grieving at the moment but it wont be to long before she will be her self again it take a bit of time but she will pull through this time with her friend by her side and the white feathers she will drop in front of her
many blessing angel

Oh yes.... she keeps finding them in her car, a replacement car whilst her own is being fixed after 2 bumps in the bad weather! Yep more prayers need for poor lil sis!

Love to you all x

[Silver]

I'm so glad and relieved you had a long heart felt conversation with her.
It's so great when we can be of help to one another here on the forum.
Bless you both.

[eraser]

Good news, indeed. :)

[nephesh]

I am sorry for your loss. Your sister is just experiencing the grieving process. She was probably too busy before making sure her friend had a good memorial now its sunk it. Everyone goes through the loss process differently just be there for her. I will pray for her.

[Xan]

whispers... What blessings came from your opening up communication with your sister. Good work!


Xan

[Amethyst]

Hi Whispers!

Blessings to you and your sister.

I’ve just been through similar with my sister and I can relate to how you were feeling when you started this thread and how uplifted you felt after you had spoken to your sister.

My sister’s partner went to work one morning in November and had a motorbike accident and passed.

It was a total shock to all the family.

My sister lives opposite me and I went straight round there shortly after it had happened to sit with her, though I knew not what to say and then all my family turned up, people were texting, emailing her.

Later in the day she wanted us all to go and she said that she just wanted to be on her own. And she felt like that the next day too and made it quite clear that she wanted everyone to stay away completely.

She was in so much pain and this was what she needed at the time.

During that first week, days went by with no contact from her and we were all very sad to think of her being alone to sort it out – but that was what she wanted, what she needed so we did not even text her to ask how she was.

I spent moments in floods of tears, just thinking about her and what she was going through – it was truly heart-wrenching.

About a week later she knocked on my door and I was so happy to see her and was surprised at what had brought her to my door.

Her three children thought of her partner as a father figure and were obviuosly very upset. My young nephew got up in the night to get a glass of water and on the glass patio door – very high up – he saw a smiley face had been ‘drawn’ on the glass.

My sister is quite short and she was wondering about the possibilities. . . Who had made that smiley face?

She was asking questions about death and afterlife and has never shown any interest in this subject before.

I’d love to think it was him and if it was, what a lovely thing to do to cheer up my nephew!

Blessings to him and your sister's friend too.

Amethyst x