High Libido

[Celesia]

How do you lower your libido? I have a very high sex drive and sometimes it becomes an issue with me and my husband. I don't want to diminish it completely, just lower it to an average level. I've researched and found too many different answers that it's starting to confuse me. I'd rather not go on a prescription that may cause more problems than it helps. I've heard exercising helps. Nope, makes my problem worse. Reading, cooking, gardening, none really distract me. I'm a bit too embarrassed to ask the owner of the local herbal shop or talk to my doctor. Help, please?

[Rena]

haha I consider this a good thing!!! lol

[Silver]

You mean your hubby turns you down?

I think if you're in that 'condition', why would it embarrass you to ask the local herb shop or your doc? You could always use the old saw with the local herb shop that it's for a friend...and if your doc is someone you're not comfy with, you probly should change docs or something.

[Celesia]

You mean your hubby turns you down?

Yes he does, and it's a blow to my ego. :icon_frown: I'm afraid if I ask my doctor she'll want to prescribe some form of medication that usually has bad side effects for me. I haven't been able to have one prescription drug, including the pill, that didn't have a side effect that was more unhealthy for me than the original problem. As for the local herb shop, I've never actually been there and it's the whole confidentiality thing. Last thing I want is to try to inform a male employee, in a crowded store, of my dilemma and be given the 'you're kidding' face.

[psychoslice]

It depends on what you consider to be a high libido, like having sex everyday can be normal, well to me it is lol.

[Silver]

Yes he does, and it's a blow to my ego. :icon_frown: I'm afraid if I ask my doctor she'll want to prescribe some form of medication that usually has bad side effects for me. I haven't been able to have one prescription drug, including the pill, that didn't have a side effect that was more unhealthy for me than the original problem. As for the local herb shop, I've never actually been there and it's the whole confidentiality thing. Last thing I want is to try to inform a male employee, in a crowded store, of my dilemma and be given the 'you're kidding' face.

I'm sorry to hear that....how often is too often for your other half? What is he comfortable with? How long you been together? Has it always been this way for you two? I can understand about asking a male employee, or any employee for that matter. Gosh, I really do understand...come to think of it, one time I got a little box of samples of massage oils and the young lady looked at me like I was a pervert, rofl!
:redface: :D

[Celesia]

I'm sorry to hear that....how often is too often for your other half? What is he comfortable with? How long you been together? Has it always been this way for you two? I can understand about asking a male employee, or any employee for that matter. Gosh, I really do understand...come to think of it, one time I got a little box of samples of massage oils and the young lady looked at me like I was a pervert, rofl!
:redface: :D

He's good with just twice a week. Honestly, I'd rather it be twice a day and it's always been that way for him & I. We've been together for 9 years and this has always been a small issue for us. We do compromise but it's getting worse for me.

Silvergirl -> Thankfully I've never had someone give me that kind of look. ;)

[psychoslice]

Twice a day is normal for your age, I'm 55 and have to have an orgasm everyday, sex or anyway, I don't care lol.:blob3:

[Silver]

He's good with just twice a week. Honestly, I'd rather it be twice a day and it's always been that way for him & I. We've been together for 9 years and this has always been a small issue for us. We do compromise but it's getting worse for me.

Silvergirl -> Thankfully I've never had someone give me that kind of look. ;)

I hear ya! I wish I knew what to say, other than maybe a sex therapist? I have no idea how that works, but maybe check it out if there's someone available in your area.

I figured it had to be them, because I had no feelings of discomfort picking the item off the shelf and going up to the counter with it. She was young, but *shrug* I definitely thought I got a 'look' from her.

[iolite]

Winterlily...

Have you considered getting your own toys for you to play with when your husband won't let you play with his? Dr. Ruth would approve, so would the ladies on Sex and the City. :wink:

[Silver]

That idea crossed my mind, too, iolite. It might even make him more interested, you never know...

[Skybird]

yeah get your own toys - maybe appease oneself during the day when hubby is at work and you could always ask your team to help lower the urges...maybe of some help...

xoxooxox

[WhiteWarrior]

You could also consider helping him increase HIS libido.

[Silver]

...how do you propose to do that, WW? Just curious.

[WhiteWarrior]

Well, a little Viagra in the daily diet tends to help they say. Coffee works amazingly on me ;) Hotter colors on the bedroom walls, finding out what he secretly wants, learn to send him erotic energy..... but I believe there are others here with more experience than me in turning a man on.

[Celesia]

We're coffee drinkers, no decaf in this house. Doesn't really do anything for him but it was a good idea. But Viagra daily? He works in home construction and the last thing I want is a hammer to go awry and not be able to use the big guy till he's healed. :icon_eek: :confused:

[Silver]

I believe there are new 'types' of viagra and the like on the market, naturally they're always coming up with something new and helpful...gosh you two, go to your doc and check it all out. The old saw, God helps those who help themselves, rofl. Best of luck WL!

[sesheta]

Drinking a couple of beers seems to work with my guy...once he's had a couple, he's usually "ready to go"!! :)

[Rena]

You could also consider helping him increase HIS libido.


I AGREE!!!!! hee hee
it sounds to me that your husband is the one with the problem!!!!!

i dont think you have a problem dear!!!!

also, pray about the problem......
you'll be amazed, if you just try to keep praying about this problem between the two of you, it will most surely get resolved!
it might take some time though......
everytime i have problems with something in life, i pray about it......it always magically gets resolved! it might take some time before it does, but it will get resolved if you keep praying!

[Song]

I read on a message board somewhere that taking melatonin decreases testosterone levels, which, in turn, would have a negative effect on the libido -- in women too. Perhaps 1 mg pill a couple of times a week before bedtime might do the trick.

[Celesia]

Thanks, Song! I'd want to talk to the pharmacist before I start on those so I don't overdo it or if there's a possibility of bad side effects. I did talk to my doctor and was told it's just a case of the shoe being on the other foot, lol. Thank you for the reply. :smile:

[WhiteWarrior]

I have tried Viagra, back in one of my worse periods in life. It's not something one takes every morning, but about 15-20 minutes before it's action time iirc. After a few minutes one's face gets briefly warm and flushed, and then the next 'blush' comes a few feet further down. Then it last for a little while according to the dosage. So all I am saying is that you don't need to worry about his performance at is job.

[Sarian]

Most men would love to have a woman like you Winter Lily. I could go to sex twice a day. :-P ...maybe he needs to be 'trained' to getting used to having it more often. It seems like 2 or 3 days a week is the norm for couples, but who knows. Don't try to squelch something natural within you. I know it's frustrating. I hope you can work something out or see a therapist or counselor to see if if there are any solutions.

[Dawn1976]

How do you lower your libido? I have a very high sex drive and sometimes it becomes an issue with me and my husband. I don't want to diminish it completely, just lower it to an average level. I've researched and found too many different answers that it's starting to confuse me. I'd rather not go on a prescription that may cause more problems than it helps. I've heard exercising helps. Nope, makes my problem worse. Reading, cooking, gardening, none really distract me. I'm a bit too embarrassed to ask the owner of the local herbal shop or talk to my doctor. Help, please?

I have a very high libido too, nice to hear another woman with this problem because I always thought something was wrong with me. My husband works long hours and is tired at night, and I understand that. But other than that he would be willing every night. So I usually resort to taking care of things myself.

Have you tried just releasing the energy on your own (toys, etc)? That sometimes helps me. I take melatonin a few times a week during the week and that seems to help me as well.

I wouldn't recommend Viagra. Viagra doesn't actually increase libido, it increases blood flow by dilating blood vessels in the body. The drug is designed for men with erectile dysfunction (men who are aroused and want to have sex but their 'member' won't cooperate :smile: ) I know this because I work in a doctor's office and we regularly prescribe this medication. Herbs are probably the best place to go for libido enhancement. And as others said earlier, melatonin can help.

[Lodewijkp]

HERBS ?!!?!? herbs !

lol same problem here .. high sex drive.. unable to sleep you name it all. im male but i have a feminine side as well so don't count me out :) ! vitex agnus-castus...an anti-aphrodisiac but also maintains BALANCE in a womans hormonal system.

pfaf.org/user/Plant.aspx?LatinName=Vitex+agnus-castus
en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Vitex_agnus-castus

i would go for this one if you need a anti-aphrodisiac... you might wanna grow your own plants , seeds are really cheap and very easy to germinate or you can take a look at your local plant nursery. there are also many vitex supplements.

aphrodisiacs that are very effective are:
gaba
Epimedium Grandiflorum
Xanhtroparmelia scabrosa
damiana
kanna
cannabis
chocolate ( high amounts combined with caffeine)
nutmeg ( lol don't take too much, it is psychedelic as well )
caffeine.. tea does have way more effect than coffee...6 cups ( or more) of strong black tea can really improve libido.
maca.. some people/studies claim maca has this effect as well but you probably need to implement it into your daily diet.

now do not take them all at once lol ! you probably will have a huge headache ! all vascodialators can give you migraines when taken in excess. Sex-E Happy Caps is a product that does work ( aphrodisiac).. especially when you take more than the prescribed dosage, it's a herbal product.

Melatonin and all serotonin components or pre-cursors are considered to be anti aphrodisiacs. i think some people should take melatonin, otherwise they explode ;)

[Racer X]

How do you lower your libido? I have a very high sex drive and sometimes it becomes an issue with me and my husband. I don't want to diminish it completely, just lower it to an average level. I've researched and found too many different answers that it's starting to confuse me. I'd rather not go on a prescription that may cause more problems than it helps. I've heard exercising helps. Nope, makes my problem worse. Reading, cooking, gardening, none really distract me. I'm a bit too embarrassed to ask the owner of the local herbal shop or talk to my doctor. Help, please?



Certain foods, herbs..... increase Libido ; e.g. Coconut, Oysters, Ginseng


Certain Foods, herbs Lower it ; e.g. Chaste Tree Berry (used by Nuns and Monks for centuries!) Black Cohosh, Passionflower , these 3 are all part of "oona 1" though you may need to double the doses!
Hops, Valerian Root, Lemon Balm, Scullcap(also used by those seeking Chastity) will also help. They will not eliminate the desire but will help make it more manageable.

Learning certain Tantric/Sacred sexual techniques may also be beneficial for if you try to avoid sexual expression it will grow in intensity! So try, then, rather, to Channel it into greater Divine expressions for Divine expression is Sexual Energy at a higher Level~ The main key here is to withhold ejaculation and focus on the Divine Mind~ Thus you will learn to TAME the Energy while holding it and not releasing it. It may get even stronger initially as it seeks one or the other. If it is too much just back off and do some Mindful meditations in place of Tantric sex.



It can take quite some time to cool those flames. But uncooled, they have a tendency to get out of control and thus create havoc on the experiences in this life.


Be patient.....

Be persistent.......


Trust that YOU can do this.......



and



Trust the Divine can lift this Energy when your Heart reaches a certain level of sincerity~ not as men count it..... but as Compassion counts it!



If you lack patience, it will come from persistence!

If you lack persistence, it will come from patience!

If you lack both...... PRAY~! and it will come from above!

[Stingray]

Usually it's the other way around.

But if you need to really lower it : anti-depressiva will do that (SSRI's)

[Lodewijkp]

SSRI and dexamphetamine can both lower it.. But there is a difference between Psychological libido and physical libido, SSRI i most cases just lowers the physical side but may increase the psychological side. SSRI ruin enough lives already and most SSRI, SRNI and other medications really aren't good for your health and they vary in results thus are highly unpredictable.

anyway...

90 % of passionflower supplements are really low quality and are close to useless.. i wouldn't recommend passionflower unless it's a high quality brand ( probably very expensive )

lemon balm is ineffective when used in processed form, you need to take extracts ( cold) or raw lemon balm. i wouldn't spend my money on passionflower, lemon balm and valerian supplements...most of them are old low quality herbs.

go for high quality or don't buy it al all..

ginseng doesn't do much at all... people who took large amount of ginseng said it is close to placebo. only worthy reports are reporst from people who took fresh root ( or ''fresh ''dried grounded root ). taking ginseng occasionally can cause psychosis or other problems like high blood pressure.

reason why coffee is useless is because it's not fresh.. only raw fresh coffee is grinded as used as an aphrodisiac - the stuff you buy in supermarkets is usless.

Good quality tea contains theanin which actually makes you calm ( targets same receptors that most herbs and drugs do ) but when it's combined with a large amount of caffeine it's defenitely an aphrodisiac. Taking theanin only wihtout caffeine has the opposite effect.

[Liet]

Medication is a waste of time.

Go get him a Citrine and/or yourself an Amethyst.
The solar plexus increases ones libido, the pineal gland decreases it...

[ditsykate]

The contraceptive pill always lowered my libido.
I'm not on it any more!! lol