Love Spells

Hi
I have followed the wiccan path for a while but am starting to have doubts here about what I am playing with. I did a spell to attract love. I wrote down all the attributes of a man I wanted and I dated him this man for a while. At first he seemed really charming, really nice but he soon turned controlling, nasty and abusive. I have been reading around about love spells and some people suggest that they are not particularly "ethical". I know if you specifically want someone in particular and do a spell you are changing their free will and can get negative karma come back on you times 3 but if you just did a spell to attract love and not a particular person why would you get negative karma come back at you?
Some say you shouldn't do spells for selfish reasons. However loads of people do love spells don't they? Can someone shed some light on this please?

Love spells arent ethical if you change someones will....attracting love shouldnt be a problem as long as you arent affecting anyones actions or free will.

I think the fact you say you are 'having doubts about what you are playing with" is a little worrying. You shouldnt be "playing" with it - i dont want to critisise at all im just saying that your outlook on what you are doing might affect it. Im sure some people do love spells but its something that you cant take lightly becuase in my eyes somewhere along the line you will be changing someones will.....if that makes sense....

Im not sure what eles to say and i hope i havent offended. I think just take a look at your reasons for doing the spell, as well as your reasons for doing spell and dealing with magick in general to make sure your intentions are true, you might realise something you previously missed. :)

My intentions are true. "Playing" with is probably the wrong word to use. I don't just use it for love spells. I use it for other positive things and I do take it very seriously.

NEVER CHANGE ANYONES FREE WILL

Most witches will tell you that spells work intermittently and they treasure and share the tales of those spells that were successful. A spell that works is proof that magick is real, that we can affect the outcome of events, not just at the mysterious level of subatomic particles, but at the level of daily life.

So what do you do when a spell does't work? With the old model, you just went out and bought another book, tried a different spell, used a different ingredient. And lots of people get discouraged and stop casting spells, convinced that magick isn't real and spells are just superstitious nonsense. Well mechanical magick isn't real, and machanistic spellcasting borders on superstition. It certainly keeps the power outside yourself, which is what superstitions are based on - powerlessness.

All your ingredients, including your timing, your energy, and your connection to deity, could be right as they could be and your spell still may not manifest. Why not?

Its the magick of destiny working.

We often refer to Witchcraft as the Craft ot the Wise. Wisdom is not just earned at school - it comes from living life, particularly living through life's trials and challenges. These tests are where the greatest wisdom comes from. And the failure of a dream to come true is one of life's greatest tests. Wisdom however, has a unique way of transforming the bitter into the bittersweet, and ultimately, into the sweetness of life. And so, when a spell does not manifest, you should not ask, 'What went wrong?' but, 'Why not?' In understanding 'why not', you become wise.

So when a spell doesn't work, use divination or meditation, and ask why not. I've never once had an Oracle say to me: ' Didn't I tell you not to use vervain? Next time use rue!' Oracles show us the real reason: the deep, unseen and spiritual currents moving through a magickal life. Remember, magick often works in unexpected ways, and its timing is also not on the same schedule as yours, so be patient. I've been working on and waiting for and acting in accord with a very special spell for over a year now.

Most of all, when events don't play out as our spell intended, remember that the Universe is a complex and living process. Chaos plays a far greater role in reality than we had thought when we viewed the world through the simple mechanics of Newton's Laws. But chaos theory has also shown us something else quite amazing: at the furthest fringes of randomness, a pattern emerges. It is the pattern of spirals - the shape of D.N.A, the building block of life.

You live within an organic reality, your life is one of the spirals of beauty emerging from the infinite chaos of the quantum reality. That pattern is your destiny. Some spells advance the pattern, some do not. Those that do often manifest quickly and powerfully. Those that don't simply fizzel, or manifest in unexpected ways that are most appropriate to the pattern of your destiny.

Your destiny is not a fixed or unchangable reality. Instead, it is a probability that requires your participation to come to fruition. A spell, some have suggested, helps change possibilities into probabilities. Wisdom, self-knowledge, love and action advance you destiny. So does being connected to your inner divinity, and to the sacred in the world. The failure of a spell may be filled with as much magick as its fulfilment. When you find the meaning behind a non-manifestation, you will find its gift, its magick, and its empowerment, for you and the spell the Universe has cast.


Storm x

Originally Posted by Sindy

My intentions are true. "Playing" with is probably the wrong word to use. I don't just use it for love spells. I use it for other positive things and I do take it very seriously.

Im glad your intensions are ture. Im sorry if i caused any offence it was not my intentions :)

I think the love spells area is a grey one and somethine i personally wouldnt mess with. However it is each to their own and i think the fact it may have back fired ion you shows that its not worht it.

Spells can backfire at any given time, to be honest. Their phrasing is so important. The way in which you present it to the universe in energy, also, is important. Give the universe the slightest leeway with it and you'll end up with something vastly different from what you asked for. Spells are tricky little blighters in many respects.

A spell to attract love.. how do you know that the love you receive will be genuine? No spell in the world can mimic the real deal. Sooner or later, something's going to go awry because it's not the love that was meant for you. The love that was meant for you will come when it needs to. Not when it's called to.

Love spells work, but they are an infringment on free will choice. And there is this, too... do you really want someone who has not given themselves to you freely and without coersion? I would not!

Thank you for your insight. I know things can affect how the spell is cast. I though I was pretty positive at the time when I cast it but maybe looking back I wasn't ready for what I was asking for. I know sometimes spells don't work as they should and it is all part of the learning curve of the wiccan path.
I know I am on this path for a reason. I do feel a wisdom a "coming home" which is why I chose this path and I am still learning. I feel it is a lifelong path not something you can pick up and leave when you want. It s not always an easy path though and as I have cast many spells you learn something new each time. I have learnt some hard lessons. Things have come back on me and some things have been extremely unpleasant. However I still continue on because I am learning. I have leant you have to be very careful with how you can trust on this path as some people do not take react to it we..
I have done many spells and every time you learn something new.

[norseman]

I never cast "spells" on people or for people. My work is entirely Earth Magic aimed at flora and fauna, and Land preservation. I have worked hard over many decades to become part of the Land by gaining knowledge. I am not wiccan but an older form which has it's roots in the Neolithic with tribal shaman.
It seems to me that wicca is putting out the wrong image at the moment, probably because of TV programmes - it seems to going more for show and less for substance.
"Magic", the Craft, is not a trivial thing to be used for trivial purposes such as "Love Spells" and the like.

I have strong connection to neolithic artifacts. Wicca does seem to be the "trendy" in thing at the moment and it does portray the wrong image. It is marketed in such a way now. I feel confused in my life. I don't want to do things for selfish reasons anymore. I need guidance.