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Old 25-01-2012, 03:19 PM
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Ho GerryGirl,
I can relate to you and your experiences as my life too was challenging from the day I became aware I was alive. I too went through an abusive marriage and fled to a country with my three kids. No child support, no help from the government or family. There was one challenge after another and I had the same thoughts as you do, but I was not willing to give up and believed I was doing something "wrong". Things did not get better for me until I left that belief behind me. As long as I was thinking (of course unconsciously) that I was doing something wrong it continued to be my experience. I created the circumstances around me which validated that I truly was doing something wrong....and I was....I was believing in a belief that was not according to the truth. The belief was wrong.

Your underlying belief is creating your experience. Ask yourself....why is this happening to me? And write it done what comes to you. What "comes to you" is your belief. To remove a belief simply hold it up to the light of your consciousness knowing that beliefs are concepts....and not based on the Truth of simply being. In the light of your awareness the belief is pulled by it's roots and opens you to new experiences.

Life is meant to be joyous and can be experienced as joyous once the belief that is holding you back from experiencing a joyous life is removed.
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Old 25-01-2012, 04:05 PM
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Hi Gerry

One thing I see from your post is that you have more concern for others than you do yourself. You won't charge more rent, you constantly give to help others.... but nothing is coming back your way.

Imho I would say stop giving so much. Yes we are taught it is good to help others and we should be loving and giving, but not at our own detriment. Put your rent up or find new tenants. If you need help, ask for it. If the people you have in your life won't give you help, when you have helped them then maybe you need to ask how good they are as friends?

It's not necessarily that you have done something terrible to get this hand dealt to you, but maybe you are not putting yourself first. Apart from your son YOU come first in your life. YOU are the most important person and YOU need YOUR needs meeting.... think about that? How does that feel? If you needed something and a friend asked for the same thing how would you feel saying no to that friend? Your response to that says a lot about you.

Spirit only helps those that help themselves. If you tell Spirit you are less important than other people then that is how Spirit will treat you until you learn that you ARE important.

I have only read the first half of your post because I am short of time, but I think from what I have read there is an important lesson here for you to learn.... you have value, you are equal to others and it's ok to say no to others when giving to them will harm you!
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Old 25-01-2012, 04:46 PM
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I can feel your frustration GerryGirl, you are here for a reason so please don't give up

My inbox is always open if you need a place to vent
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Old 25-01-2012, 05:10 PM
Lynn Lynn is offline
Join Date: Feb 2006
Location: Past Pluto in the vastness of space and time
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Originally Posted by Xan
gerrygirl... What you are describing sounds like depression to me, possibly coming from your abusive childhood and neglectful family. No wonder you want to get out of here and go home to God.

But here's help to get free of this kind of pain if you'll look for it.

One good method is EFT - Emotional Freedom Technique. http://EFTuniverse.com.

There are trained practitioners around the world who use EFT and other alternative, natural ways to help people like you.



WHILE you may personally "Feel" this is a good way for one's it is not the fit for all.

It is thought a "COMBINATION" of things that we heal....and personally I feel communications and compassions and understandings for other's is a huge part of that path.

Just how I feel about it.

If the crow has chosen you as your spirit or totem animal, it supports you in developing the power of sight, transformation, and connection with life’s magic.
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Old 25-01-2012, 05:13 PM
Lynn Lynn is offline
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Old 25-01-2012, 09:45 PM
Xan Xan is offline
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Originally Posted by Lynn
WHILE you may personally "Feel" this is a good way for one's it is not the fit for all.

It is thought a "COMBINATION" of things that we heal....and personally I feel communications and compassions and understandings for other's is a huge part of that path.

Lynn... I have never said or even thought that there's one right way for everyone. I make suggestions for some things I've found helpful. Each of our life paths is unique.

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Old 26-01-2012, 03:30 AM
forevergirl forevergirl is offline
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sending you lots of don't give up.

I once felt like you are after I lost my first love in an accident, but now when I look back, I would have missed so many beautiful encounters with so many amazing people.

I will pray that God's angels are always with you. Be strong and be brave. Have courage.

The last thing he said to me...Pointing to the black sky littered with sequined stars...I've been there and back again~
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Old 26-01-2012, 04:40 PM
theophilus theophilus is offline
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i want to go back home to God is that wrong?
Turning to God for help is the only thing you can do that will help you with your problems. The question is how to go about it.

In the next to last paragraph you compard your life to that of Jesus. Do you know the real reason Jesus suffered as he did? Jesus was not just a man but he is also God. He became a man and suffered the same things we do so that he could make a way for us to come to God. The source of all the suffering is human sin. All of us have sinned and we also suffer from the effects of other people's sins.

Jesus suffered many things because of the sins of others but he himself never committed sin. He died as an atonement for the sins that separate us from God. If you put your faith in him you will enter into a new relationship with God in which you will become part of his family and you will be able to go to him for help with all of your problems.

Perhaps the best place to start would be to read in the Bible about the life of Jesus and ask God to give you the ability to understand what you are reading. Remember that Jesus understands our problems because he has had first hand experience with them.
Since then we have a great high priest who has passed through the heavens, Jesus, the Son of God, let us hold fast our confession. For we do not have a high priest who is unable to sympathize with our weaknesses, but one who in every respect has been tempted as we are, yet without sin. Let us then with confidence draw near to the throne of grace, that we may receive mercy and find grace to help in time of need.
(Hebrews 4:14-16 ESV)
I will be praying for you and asking God to help you with all of your problems.
The brutal, soul-shaking truth is that we are so earthly minded we are of no heavenly use.
Leonard Ravenhill
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Old 26-01-2012, 09:23 PM
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Gerrygirl.. I've had time to read the rest of your post now.

Can I ask, have you had any therapy for what you went through in your childhood? It seems you still have a lot of wounds from that. I really think that is something you would benefit from. I had talk therapy for the effects of my abusive first boyfriend. It really did help me. Maybe you could trade with someone, maybe not talk based therapy, but something to help you deal with those wounds.

Secondly, you say you are doing a course in flower remedies, are you not able to apply what you are learning to your situation? I am a Bach Practitioner and I could see a number of remedies from that range that would help you. If it's Bach you're doing and you have remedies I can happily help you pick out some that will help. However, I also have to ask, if you can't afford to feed yourself how have you managed to pay for the course?

Finally, to recap on what I said earlier, I really think you need to put yourself first. I can imagine that what you went through as a child has damaged your self-esteem. This is one of the aspects of the self that allows us to look after ourselves... if that is wounded then working on that will help.

Do you believe in affirmations and the law of attraction? These things might help you work on manifesting what you need. If your focus is on how terrible things are (which is quite understandable) you won't be manifesting what you need. Maybe look into these concepts and see if they will help.

There is stuff you can do about this, and some of it won't cost you a lot, if anything. But you need to want to do these things and make changes. As you say, you can't carry on as you are, so you have 2 choices, give up.. or make changes. Change is hard, it can be difficult to accept that maybe there is a better way to be/think/act than you are at the moment, but maybe it will bring about amazing changes in your life.

From my experience the people that have great lives have a great attitude to life. It's not necessarily about what they have in a material way, it's how they view what they do have rather than what they don't have.

Good luck Gerrygirl and please pop in and let us know how you are getting on.
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Old 27-01-2012, 12:23 AM
Spiritmessenger Spiritmessenger is offline
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Hi Gerrygirl

I've read your post and from what I see you are one very strong person to have gone through all what you have at your age ...it would have flattened many others. Don't give up now a few have given you some good advice like looking after yourself and son first.

My advice is you need to calm down collect yourself ie thoughts....there is an answer to all of this but you need some help.

First if the boyfriend is disturbing everyone in the house with bad energy and draining you then you seriously need to consider asking him to leave because he is attracting bad energy from the spirit world also, like "attracts like" I know this from my own personal experience that has lasted for the past four years but now has ended because she has moved, thank god. You don't need this kind of energy around you or your son believe me.

Get all the household bills together....then get all the people who are living in the house together at a meeting....and show them the bills you have to pay and exactly what you are getting. Be open and honest, tell them that they will have to pay more rent and help around the house more, or they will have to leave with so many weeks notice to find somewhere else to live, but you need to get it all down on paper, what you expect from them and what they can expect if they don't co-operate. You are not a charity for hopeless helpless people dear.

If the house is that big then consider running a bed and breakfast or some other business....use the house to bring you in some money seek advice on ways that you can use the house to bring you in an income even if it's letting it out.

Next....stop being there for everyone else they will drain you of all your energy and time....I know this too from experience...I've been married three times, then they walk off and leave you, so drained you don't have the energy left to help yourself, while they find someone else to leach off if they can. My own spirit guides have told and taught me, that very empathic people like us, I'm a healer also, attract people like this because of our deep desire to help others, but we need to detach ourselves and protect our own energy....we do ourselves no good or them for that matter because they need to help themselves. There are many ways we can help others without giving away our own energy to those who don't appreciate it, an empty cup can't quench anyones thirst.

Next....You have suffered much in the past...but that's the past and can't be changed....leave it in the past where it belongs. Mentally get a big black bag and put all the rubbish from the past in it, and as you put each bit in the bag forgive those that have hurt you because what ever they have done to you they will have to suffer the same in some other life "Karma" "What you give out you get back" thats a universal law, then mentally put it in the dustbin. You don't want to drag all the rubbish from the past around with you, do you?....besides it gets too heavy after awhile.

As for being horrible and nasty, stop those thought's because you're not, you wouldn't be helping others if you were, and like some one else said, what is on your mind you will attract to you. And as someone else suggested if you have the equivalent of a citizen advice bureau there go to them and to the courts.

I sincerely hope my love that you try to change things because then you are giving the universe the chance to step in and help you out of this mess. It will change I promise you but first you need to change YOU and what you do. I walked away from a farm and a lot of money cos I didn't have the energy to do everything for everyone else while they sat and watched me do all the work, which meant I had to give up the animals I loved as well, but better things have replaced all what I lost, because I made a change.

Be strong for you and your son first and foremost....as my dad used to say look after number one and let the rest look after themselves.
God bless you dear and I hope things change for you soon.
Peace and love to everyone.

“Worry does not empty tomorrow of its sorrow. It empties today of its strength.”
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