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Go Back   Spiritual Forums > Spirituality & Beliefs > Death & The Afterlife

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  #11  
Old 07-06-2011, 06:37 PM
Spiritlite Spiritlite is offline
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Thankyou for this it really opened my eyes wide to what I'm doing in my life that I may regret on my deathbed, thankyou so much for this post.
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  #12  
Old 08-06-2011, 08:07 AM
MutedBlue MutedBlue is offline
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My father just passed away yesterday. It was in the middle of the night and I did not have a chance to have a talk like this with him though I suspect there are quite a few things like what you've brought up that had gone through his head. He had COPD and I think I was in denial about just how bad it was. If he was conscious at the time he passed, I truly hope he had a chance and was able to become at peace with having to let go. It comforted me to read that you wrote every patient you came across was able to find their peace.
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  #13  
Old 08-06-2011, 08:14 AM
jackie-b
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Quote:
Originally Posted by MutedBlue
My father just passed away yesterday. It was in the middle of the night and I did not have a chance to have a talk like this with him though I suspect there are quite a few things like what you've brought up that had gone through his head. He had COPD and I think I was in denial about just how bad it was. If he was conscious at the time he passed, I truly hope he had a chance and was able to become at peace with having to let go. It comforted me to read that you wrote every patient you came across was able to find their peace.

My condolences and love to you, MutedBlue...it can be a difficult time. I wasn't able to be with my father when he died, either, but he found his peace as your father will have done.

Thank you, Vinepu...a beautiful post.
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  #14  
Old 08-06-2011, 08:19 AM
NightSpirit NightSpirit is offline
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Firstly....condolences MutedBlue

hi yinepu

I can see how these top 5 could be the most common regrets and to me, that's rather sad really.
My husband had no regrets when he passed. In fact he was always saying how greatful he was to have lived the life he did, even though I know there were things he would have liked to change. He passed with Grace and he left me with a solid wish that when my time comes, I want to be like him.

Every day I count my blessings and have for years. Somehow this has given me the ability to bless how greatful I am to have had the life I've had.....no regrets....just awe!

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  #15  
Old 08-06-2011, 08:28 AM
MutedBlue MutedBlue is offline
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Thank you very much jackie-b and NightSpirit
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  #16  
Old 08-06-2011, 08:37 AM
jackie-b
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Quote:
Originally Posted by NightSpirit
Firstly....condolences MutedBlue

hi yinepu

I can see how these top 5 could be the most common regrets and to me, that's rather sad really.
My husband had no regrets when he passed. In fact he was always saying how greatful he was to have lived the life he did, even though I know there were things he would have liked to change. He passed with Grace and he left me with a solid wish that when my time comes, I want to be like him.

Every day I count my blessings and have for years. Somehow this has given me the ability to bless how greatful I am to have had the life I've had.....no regrets....just awe!

Me too, Night Spirit...as I've grown older I've looked back and seen my life as an amazing series of events, which have all fitted together so perfectly. However, I don't know how I shall be just before I die...hopefully the same, but I just don't know.
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  #17  
Old 08-06-2011, 08:42 AM
NightSpirit NightSpirit is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by jackie-b
Me too, Night Spirit...as I've grown older I've looked back and seen my life as an amazing series of events, which have all fitted together so perfectly. However, I don't know how I shall be just before I die...hopefully the same, but I just don't know.

aye ...I had a good teacher. You will do just fine
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  #18  
Old 08-06-2011, 09:02 AM
jackie-b
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Originally Posted by NightSpirit
aye ...I had a good teacher. You will do just fine


Thank you, NightSpirit
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  #19  
Old 08-06-2011, 02:59 PM
gentledove
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Quote:
Originally Posted by yinepu
By Bronnie Ware (who worked for years nursing the dying)
For many years I worked in palliative care. My patients were those who had gone home to die. Some incredibly special times were shared. I was with them for the last three to twelve weeks of their lives.

People grow a lot when they are faced with their own mortality. I learnt never to underestimate someone’s capacity for growth. Some changes were phenomenal. Each experienced a variety of emotions, as expected, denial, fear, anger, remorse, more denial and eventually acceptance. Every single patient found their peace before they departed though, every one of them.

When questioned about any regrets they had or anything they would do differently, common themes surfaced again and again. Here are the most common five:

1. I wish I’d had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me.
This was the most common regret of all. When people realise that their life is almost over and look back clearly on it, it is easy to see how many dreams have gone unfulfilled. Most people have had not honoured even a half of their dreams and had to die knowing that it was due to choices they had made, or not made.

It is very important to try and honour at least some of your dreams along the way. From the moment that you lose your health, it is too late. Health brings a freedom very few realise, until they no longer have it.

2. I wish I didn’t work so hard.

This came from every male patient that I nursed. They missed their children’s youth and their partner’s companionship. Women also spoke of this regret. But as most were from an older generation, many of the female patients had not been breadwinners. All of the men I nursed deeply regretted spending so much of their lives on the treadmill of a work existence.

By simplifying your lifestyle and making conscious choices along the way, it is possible to not need the income that you think you do. And by creating more space in your life, you become happier and more open to new opportunities, ones more suited to your new lifestyle.

3. I wish I’d had the courage to express my feelings.

Many people suppressed their feelings in order to keep peace with others. As a result, they settled for a mediocre existence and never became who they were truly capable of becoming. Many developed illnesses relating to the bitterness and resentment they carried as a result.

We cannot control the reactions of others. However, although people may initially react when you change the way you are by speaking honestly,in the end it raises the relationship to a whole new and healthier level. Either that or it releases the unhealthy relationship from your life. Either way, you win.

4. I wish I had stayed in touch with my friends.

Often they would not truly realise the full benefits of old friends until their dying weeks and it was not always possible to track them down. Many had become so caught up in their own lives that they had let golden friendships slip by over the years. There were many deep regrets about not giving friendships the time and effort that they deserved.Everyone misses their friends when they are dying.
It is common for anyone in a busy lifestyle to let friendships slip.But when you are faced with your approaching death, the physical details of life fall away. People do want to get their financial affairs in order if possible. But it is not money or status that holds the true importance for them. They want to get things in order more for the benefit of those they love. Usually though, they are too ill and weary to ever manage this task. It is all comes down to love and relationships in the end. That is all that remains in the final weeks,love and relationships.

5. I wish that I had let myself be happier.

This is a surprisingly common one. Many did not realise until the end that happiness is a choice. They had stayed stuck in old patterns and habits. The so-called ‘comfort’ of familiarity overflowed into their emotions, as well as their physical lives. Fear of change had them pretending to others, and to their selves, that they were content. When deep within, they longed to laugh properly and have sillyness in their life again.
When you are on your deathbed, what others think of you is a long way from your mind. How wonderful to be able to let go and smile again,long before you are dying.

——————————————————————————

originally posted at http://www.inspirationandchai.com/Re...the-Dying.html

Many of these I've had to face recently and did so with help thank God!

Our lives actually are quite a bit within our control, and that is why we could feel some regret if we haven't lived them as fully as wished.

However, it's mistaken to judge our efforts as we're not in a position to fully realize what they will bring.

In the Light we will understand the lessons we learned in this life, both the ones we mastered and the ones we didn't, and so we gain from everything and everything is therefore a blessing.

It's really not too big a deal, and being home again is amazing!

I think if people knew, they wouldn't fear or regret death. They would focus more on bringing as much of their unique gifts to the world as they can...

My heart goes out to all of you who've lost someone you love. Their light was a strength and comfort to you and such a tremendous loss! I truly believe you'll be with them again because love is a very powerful magnetic force!
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  #20  
Old 08-06-2011, 04:54 PM
Emmalevine Emmalevine is offline
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Great stuff...thanks.
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