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Old 07-03-2018, 07:03 AM
Howla Dark Howla Dark is offline
Join Date: Apr 2015
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Being ignored

My dad and I were very close and he passed away 13 years ago. All of my relatives have claimed to have felt his spirit presense, some have seen him. When his name was mentioned, my dad made sounds or noises. His photos would be moved. He left signs for them.
My cousin visited a psychic medium. My dad never knew or met my cousin. For some reason, my dad's spirit made himself known to the psychic and gave her advice. From what she said it's obvious my dad's spirit was communicating.
Now for some reason I've never experienced my dad's spirit. He's not attempted to show himself to me. He's appeared to veryone else and people who barely knew him or to those who didn't like him anymore. My mother, who left him a very long time ago has had signs from him. He's even appeared to my half brother and they didn't know each other.
My question is this: why hasn't he appeared to me?
My guess here is that since he's gone into spirit, he's seen somehing about me that he doesn't like. Maybe he hates me?
I keep getting the feeling that everyone hates me because I have no friends, don't get on with family and never been in love or loved in return. I always wondered if I was really evil in a past life. Or maybe my spirit/soul is a demon and not human? I was a wolf in a past life, this is what I know so far. Maybe my dad spirit hates me. Perhaps the cosmos hates me and punishing me to a life of loneliness.
I have one child who loves me very much and looks up to me but deep inside I know the world hates me and I feel ashamed being alive, I was never a nice person as a kid, but I'm not a criminal or anything. I care for animals and children. Maybe my inner being is dark and murky or my dad just thinks I'm useless? I can only guess my dad's spirit doesn't like me.
I was in the darkness so darkness I become.
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Old 07-03-2018, 08:13 AM
SeekerOfKnowledge SeekerOfKnowledge is offline
Join Date: Dec 2015
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I am not an expert, but I would assume you did not get any signs from your father, because you are blocking them.

As you say, you are convinced that the world hates you. Deep inside you think you do not deserve to be loved. And that is the reason why your father cannot contact you. I do not think your father's spirit hates you. Why would he?

Anyway, you definitely should look for anything that helps you to learn to love yourself. I know this can be hard, had such phases myself.
That you do not love yourself also is the reason why you do not have a relationship. Before you can have a healthy relationship with somebody else, you must have a healthy relationship with yourself.

It is possible that you have carried over something from a past life, but you not necessarily were a mass murderer or something. Sometimes the victims of a crime also carry over feelings of guilt.

I would suggest you are trying different methods for more positive thinking. Meditation, breathing practice, affirmations... which ever works best for you.

You care for animals and children and your child loves you. So you cannot be such a bad person.

I wish you all the best, that you may learn to forgive yourself and love yourself.
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Old 07-03-2018, 09:22 AM
Howla Dark Howla Dark is offline
Join Date: Apr 2015
Posts: 804
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Thanks so much Seeker of Knowledge. Your post has made me feel a whole lot better now. You could be right I'm blocking it and should learn to love myself.
I was in the darkness so darkness I become.
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