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Old 01-03-2018, 10:34 AM
Raziel Raziel is offline
Join Date: Aug 2017
Location: England
Posts: 682
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Originally Posted by Hemera

I wonder if you might be experiencing a dark night of the soul. This is when nothing makes any sense anymore and you feel completely lost in life as it no longer holds any meaning for you. It's a kind of death of the ego based personality and an opening to your higher self .The same thing happened to me after a lot of meditation and other spiritual practices. Gradually they no longer held any meaning and seemed pretty pointless. Your alcoholism maybe a last ditch attempt of the ego to cling to an identity in the midst of uncertainty and emptiness. I found this with my depression - it was a way in which my ego could maintain a stronghold.

If any of this resonates with you I would recommend researching Dark Night of the soul as a lot of people go through it along the spiritual path. Eventually you will be able to create your own meaning and there will be a sense of joy and freedom. You may well be able to go back to your meditation and spiritual practices with a renewed sense of what they mean to you.


I was always highly spiritual, had great intuition & empathy - always the hero.

At one point Earth seemed like a stupid place to live, all of the bad that happens alongside the bickering about trivial things.

Drinking numbs it all - the spiritual path that constantly throws paradoxes your way, the menial earth issues like money & politics.

The only thing that snapped me out of it was "doing good".

I volunteered at an animal shelter & a few weeks later gained a full time job there.

Long story short I met my wife there

Do I understand why a good soul was required to suffer? Not really but I fought back out of anger, did good despite feeling awful & ended up doing OK.

I'd advise doing some good - ignore your own needs as much as you can & act out of principal.

People will sugar coat the spiritual side of things, acting as though they really know how it all works but to me its a lot of false promises & self convincing from in reality very scared people.

I heard a quote " God helps those who help themselves " - whilst I find it cruel I can't really argue that me finding my own feet wasn't beneficial so perhaps, as in nature you just need to fight back.

Good luck.

"I am your creation.
Now, as before - you criticise your own work."

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Old 01-03-2018, 01:06 PM
OnAPath OnAPath is offline
Join Date: Jul 2011
Location: Florida, US
Posts: 455
Originally Posted by peacemaker
There was a time when I used to meditate daily.I have had spiritual experiences which normal can not even think of.I used to play with energy all day in my body.I was able to awaken any moment at my will.I could arouse Kundalini any time I wanted in my spine.

Now I have lost everything.It started with the thought that these these things has no meaning in my life.In life enlightenment is the only thing we should have.I slowly left all my practices day by day.

Now I am very big alcoholic.I was never a successful social and professional person.Now I am not even a spiritual person.

I don`t understand what mistake did I commit?Is it because of my past life karmas?I dont know what path to follow.I dont know where is my teacher.

Daily life is something you can't avoid. You pull up your roots to muddle through, as the universe is in such a state of flux right now. Everyone is evolving, changing, and to disconnect from the universal EEK-ness is sometimes your only escape to deal with your moments. It's happening a lot these days.

Maybe there isn't a set path for you to follow, and maybe you don't need a teacher. You are most certainly not being punished. Take a moment, not even meditating, just to close your eyes and feel the sway of the earth. It feels very turbulent. Think of white water rafting. You row the boat for the most part, oars int he water, influencing the water, the water influencing the boat(meditation). Then a class 5 section comes along, and you pull the oars up, let someone else row, and just hold on tight(right now). The water is throwing you around, affecting everything it touches. Soon you will come to a place where the water calms, and you can put those oars back in.
Seek peace, and you shall share in the burden of the world.
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Old 16-03-2018, 01:22 AM
alleigh alleigh is offline
Join Date: Oct 2010
Location: Pa
Posts: 89
I am there with you. Replace alcohol with depression and I could have written it. It makes me sad to know I have lost all sense of peace. It has been a bad stretch.

Thank you Hemera, I will research dark night of soul. There has to be a way out.
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