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Go Back   Spiritual Forums > Spirituality & Beliefs > Love & Relationships -Friends and Family

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  #1  
Old 19-02-2018, 02:33 AM
ParanoidHippie ParanoidHippie is offline
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Why does he think I need his love?

Iím dealing with this crazy guy right now. Heís in love with me and cares way too much about me. Heís a stalker, so he knows all about how anxious I am. Heís sent me messages that say that being loved by someone will cure my anxiety. By someone I know he means him. He also said in a creepy message that all my anxiety will go away if Iíll let him hold me in his arms. Iím not into him and probably not into any men. I donít think a girl loving me will cure my anxiety either. I just want something casual, but Iím even scared of that. Iím scared theyíll see how anxious I am and get creepily invested in me like that guy. I donít need his or other peopleís concern. I just want some fun. I just doubt thatís what Iíll get.
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  #2  
Old 19-02-2018, 08:33 AM
OEN34 OEN34 is offline
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Sheesh, he sounds a bit full on, doesn't he?!

Desperation is seeping out of him. You know this has to do with his lack of happiness and contentment within, so he's probably best left to it as you are not only not going to make him happy long term, he also sounds quite dangerous, but I might be wrong.

Quite manipulative actions, too. Praying on someone vulnerable by the sounds of it.

Stay firm, girl. Let him go gently if that is what you want as I don't even think a casual relationship with this chap will be enough for him.
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  #3  
Old 28-02-2018, 04:46 PM
Raziel Raziel is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ParanoidHippie
I’m dealing with this crazy guy right now. He’s in love with me and cares way too much about me. He’s a stalker, so he knows all about how anxious I am. He’s sent me messages that say that being loved by someone will cure my anxiety. By someone I know he means him. He also said in a creepy message that all my anxiety will go away if I’ll let him hold me in his arms. I’m not into him and probably not into any men. I don’t think a girl loving me will cure my anxiety either. I just want something casual, but I’m even scared of that. I’m scared they’ll see how anxious I am and get creepily invested in me like that guy. I don’t need his or other people’s concern. I just want some fun. I just doubt that’s what I’ll get.

As a paranoid hippie could it not just be that?

Your describing yourself as anxious so how can anyone not in your head win with you either way?

He sounds like someone with a soft heart trying to chip away - if your gay or scared or anxious your not going to appreciate his way of wooing.

This thread could just have easily been about how nobody is interested because your so anxious - how does an outsider win?

How does anyone get over anxiety? By taking baby steps & with the help of understanding people - he's not suggesting you join a cult or give him your house keys.


He maybe a stalker - just not from this description so far.
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  #4  
Old 28-02-2018, 05:33 PM
Lorelyen Lorelyen is offline
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Be careful with this guy. You seem to have already guessed - he's projecting his own needs onto you. It borders on obsession and probably stems from his very young life: disinterested, unpredictable or abusive parents. Aggressiveness probably comes into it too, hence the challenge to control. Honestly? He needs some therapy.

If I were plagued by a guy like this I'd tell him no and if he persisted probably report him
.
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  #5  
Old 28-02-2018, 05:44 PM
Raziel Raziel is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Lorelyen
Be careful with this guy. You seem to have already guessed - he's projecting his own needs onto you. It borders on obsession and probably stems from his very young life: disinterested, unpredictable or abusive parents. Aggressiveness probably comes into it too, hence the challenge to control. Honestly? He needs some therapy.

If I were plagued by a guy like this I'd tell him no and if he persisted probably report him
.

OMG!

At worst from her description he is Pepť Le Pew.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Vw5S7dz4PRU

We know nothing of this guy OR if hers is a slightly ott reaction to unrequited love.

I mean if she elaborates more then he may well be a stalker - but from that description it's unfair to start getting into his relationship with his parents.

.
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  #6  
Old 28-02-2018, 07:09 PM
Lorelyen Lorelyen is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Raziel
OMG!

At worst from her description he is Pepť Le Pew.

I mean if she elaborates more then he may well be a stalker - but from that description it's unfair to start getting into his relationship with his parents.
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Only his earliest years. One doesn't need to read too closely between the lines to suss that he's some degree of a stalker and controller and it's pre-toddler and toddler times that so often count.

Someone doesn't claim that their love will cure a person of their anxiety when she's evidently repelled - not the stuff of a healthy social upbringing. Hold her in his arms, her anxiety will go away? ParanoidHippy's even reporting it here tells of her feelings about it. At best it doesn't fit with her current social context so somehow she has to dismiss him. He's either urgently looking for love himself or acting the boar - definitely an over-assertive controlling person.

As I see it.
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  #7  
Old 28-02-2018, 07:33 PM
Raziel Raziel is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Lorelyen
Only his earliest years. One doesn't need to read too closely between the lines to suss that he's some degree of a stalker and controller and it's pre-toddler and toddler times that so often count.

Someone doesn't claim that their love will cure a person of their anxiety when she's evidently repelled - not the stuff of a healthy social upbringing. Hold her in his arms, her anxiety will go away? ParanoidHippy's even reporting it here tells of her feelings about it. At best it doesn't fit with her current social context so somehow she has to dismiss him. He's either urgently looking for love himself or acting the boar - definitely an over-assertive controlling person.

As I see it.

I like turtles!

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  #8  
Old 28-02-2018, 07:44 PM
Nature Grows Nature Grows is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Raziel
OMG!

At worst from her description he is Pepť Le Pew.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Vw5S7dz4PRU

.

Lol, that skunk kissing the cat like that.




To ParanoidHippie maybe take steps to help yourself with your anxiety, so diet, spend time outdoors with trees an in the sun and stuff, take it easy, talk an spend time with others and do things that make you be in situations that you don't like too much (not saying be with that guy) im saying get out of comfort zones and you don't have to jump into things really quick you can do it slowly in little steps an it gets bigger an bigger till you realise you have gone far with it.

If you have not told the guy your talking about that you don't like what his doing, then maybe you should tell him too.
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  #9  
Old 28-02-2018, 07:50 PM
Raziel Raziel is offline
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Originally Posted by Nature Grows
Lol, that skunk kissing the cat like that.




To ParanoidHippie maybe take steps to help yourself with your anxiety, so diet, spend time outdoors with trees an in the sun and stuff, take it easy, talk an spend time with others and do things that make you be in situations that you don't like too much (not saying be with that guy) im saying get out of comfort zones and you don't have to jump into things really quick you can do it slowly in little steps an it gets bigger an bigger till you realise you have gone far with it.

If you have not told the guy your talking about that you don't like what his doing, then maybe you should tell him too.

I just read the whole OP in an american cheerleader voice:

"like oh my god - like there is this crazy guy who's like - oh my god a psycho stalker & he keeps taxxting muh & messaging muuh & like I'm totes not super into him"



I've worked with way too many ladies in retail fashion I think!


They all told tales about guys & then 2 seconds later were dating - it's doesn't really sound like the OP but it reads a little teeny.
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  #10  
Old 28-02-2018, 08:03 PM
Lorelyen Lorelyen is offline
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Wouldn't it be prudent to let this thread run its course without diverting it; let others have a say? Perhaps ParanoidHippie was serious.
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