I have a history of anxiety and depression but it is always managed.
I've developed many personal tools in order to minimise depressive occurances and the duration of those occurances when they do shown up.
In alot of ways... learning all these positive tools to deal with such issues has made me alot stronger and resiliant as a person and more compassionate in relationships.
My husband is not my therapist. I seek therapy if I need it.
I am an adult who knows what my needs and what to do when I am unwell to get back to balance again... and my inner parent and nurturer is put to work when I am unwell to gently guide me back to wellness again.
In spite of depression and anxiety I am a perfectly capable, responsible and independant adult who is loved reguardless of my occasional battles with darkness.
So far as the love OP is concerned - a potential love interest should be accepted as they are... and not because of some subconcious desire to be with someone who reminds you of another.
I had a girlfriend as a young adult who perused me quite fiercly because I reminded her of someone who she loved and lost.
Sadly this meant that she placed all these expectations and limitations onto me and the relationship because she was subconciously projecting her unresolved issues with the other person onto me.
That is a totally unreasonable way to be in a relationship... and it won't generally work.
Accept people as they are - not as something you project onto them out of some unresolved issue with yourself or another.
Accept yourself as you are but take responsibility for yourself as well.
For me that has meant accepting and loving my depression and anxiety as just one part of my life but not the defining feature of my whole self and also being responsible for my health and the health of my relationships - the relationship to self and others.
The inner parent takes responsibility here.
Treat yourself and others in wholeness.
If you desire a healthy love relationship work on having a healthy relationship with yourself and your own health... mental, spiritual, physical and emotional- then you will have strong foundations to build upon.
What's this then?