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Go Back   Spiritual Forums > Spirituality & Beliefs > Love & Relationships -Friends and Family

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  #1  
Old 31-01-2018, 04:16 AM
Elysium Elysium is offline
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Love at first sight.

So.... I met this woman, and instantly I started to feel tingly warm feelings in my heart chakra..it was me caring about and falling for her. The thing is, I fell for her soul more than her looks, more than her outer self, more like it was her inner energy that drew me to her. I think there's some reason this happened. She reminds me of my twin flames energy. At least when she was more loving. I'm scared of losing her. I've been having a rough time with my mental illness and I sent her like 100 messages and now she's quiet.

I don't know how to let go as there's no reason for her to run from me other than the multiple messages. It's like she's scared of me. But I feel my soul now after feeling love for her more than I have in a very long time. She makes me smile just thinking about her.

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  #2  
Old 31-01-2018, 04:56 AM
shivatar shivatar is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Elysium
So.... I met this woman, and instantly I started to feel tingly warm feelings in my heart chakra..it was me caring about and falling for her. The thing is, I fell for her soul more than her looks, more than her outer self, more like it was her inner energy that drew me to her. I think there's some reason this happened. She reminds me of my twin flames energy. At least when she was more loving. I'm scared of losing her. I've been having a rough time with my mental illness and I sent her like 100 messages and now she's quiet.

I don't know how to let go as there's no reason for her to run from me other than the multiple messages. It's like she's scared of me. But I feel my soul now after feeling love for her more than I have in a very long time. She makes me smile just thinking about her.

Help

Find someone else. She has your attention and you need to replace it with something else or it'll stay stuck on her.

Theres more fish in the sea buddy. It stings but you'll have to move on because it's a one way street and a good relationship is a two way street.

Learn from the experience and be more wise about things next time. Watch some youtube videos about talking to women and building attraction. if you want to increase your chances of success listen to a man who is successful with women. Don't listen to your emotions, clearly they are unbalanced right now.


(its not love bro, it's obsession. you need to learn the difference or you'll run into this same problem later in the future. attraction and obsession and infatuation come before you know someone, love comes after you know them deeply) and don't think you can know someone based off how you feel about them, or how they feel about you. only time can tell, and sharing experiences. Love overcomes obstacles, it grows with time. Infatuation and obsession weaken with time. thats one easy way to tell the difference.

you're never sacred of losing love because it grows stronger. you're afraid of losing the initial intensity of obsession and infatuation because by its very nature it gets weaker and weaker over time. it's a very draining emotion. just focus your attention elsewhere and let it drain itself. It will get weak after a short period of time.

You might think about the connection from time to time and it might sting, you might even feel embarrassment or shame in the future when you remember it, along with the same intensity you feel now. However it will be a very fleeting feeling. Like a 1-2 second feeling then it's gone.
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Old 31-01-2018, 06:57 AM
Elysium Elysium is offline
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Lol. Wow shivatar
I think you are so right. It's obsession and infatuation not love. I just had to laugh at it. Haha... Thanks guy.
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Old 31-01-2018, 07:02 AM
shivatar shivatar is offline
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Originally Posted by Elysium
Lol. Wow shivatar
I think you are so right. It's obsession and infatuation not love. I just had to laugh at it. Haha... Thanks guy.

NP brosky. Much love. This kinda thing happens to guys all the time in modern society. Women are basically assassins when it comes to beauty and arousing obsession and infatuation in men. Straight up killers lol. They learn makeup from a young age, learn to walk this way, dress that way, talk this way, the list goes on and on.

This kinda thing happened to me like at least 100 times before. The good news is over time you can learn your own male version of what women are doing.

heres a guy I just found the other day. I'm listening to his videos right now.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hFFhFp6X4Jo

dan baconnnn

https://www.themodernman.com/dating/...-stuck-up.html from this article .
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Old 31-01-2018, 07:13 AM
Elysium Elysium is offline
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How long does it take for obsession to get weaker?
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Old 31-01-2018, 07:14 AM
Elysium Elysium is offline
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Can I PM you if you don't mind?
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Old 31-01-2018, 07:43 AM
shivatar shivatar is offline
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Can I PM you if you don't mind?

You sure can
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Old 31-01-2018, 07:46 AM
shivatar shivatar is offline
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Originally Posted by Elysium
How long does it take for obsession to get weaker?

Depends. If it's the first time or close to the first time it might take a long time.

if it's happened a lot before and you desire to overcome it, the time may shorten from happening a lot, and also from your desire to overcome it.

if you have been building your inner strength the time may shorten.

if you have something else to take your mind off it, a hobby, a friend, a new girlfriend, the time may shorten.


hmmn. without anything else, and assuming it's the first time. maybe 4 months. If you are trying hard to overcome the experience, maybe 2 weeks total but only 5-7 of heavy cravings.
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Old 31-01-2018, 08:20 AM
Lorelyen Lorelyen is offline
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I hope this doesn't sound too unkind but as a female the last thing I'd want to "fall in love with" is a man with mental issues (in the mundane sense) unless they were obviously just transient (like a bereavement frinstance) - simply because the person's stability can't be relied on. They will almost certainly change as the days pass. No one is static but mental issues seem more fluid and unpredictable in the way they change. So what I could love on day 1 may disappear on day 2.

Secondly they could become emotionally draining - something I experienced in college days and really don't want any more.

Ir risks putting someone in the role of therapist that removes some of the independence and there are Freudian connotations about that, that discomfort me. I promise you I'm compassionate but haven't time to become someone's therapist. Some females are happy with that role (it may involve an element of control) but again, when the person has healed they'll change, so the basis of the relationship will change. (There are too many cases in real life where a therapy cures someone so they abandon the source of the "cure")

So, sad as it might be, this girl simply may not be interested. There are so many "what ifs" to make an answer impossible. She could just be capricious; flighty, falls in and out of love every day.

Find someone just to like, to build a good friendship with. Avoid using the word "love" until there are REAL signs of a bond.
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Old 26-02-2018, 10:31 PM
Elysium Elysium is offline
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Originally Posted by Lorelyen
I hope this doesn't sound too unkind but as a female the last thing I'd want to "fall in love with" is a man with mental issues (in the mundane sense) unless they were obviously just transient (like a bereavement frinstance) - simply because the person's stability can't be relied on. They will almost certainly change as the days pass. No one is static but mental issues seem more fluid and unpredictable in the way they change. So what I could love on day 1 may disappear on day 2.

Secondly they could become emotionally draining - something I experienced in college days and really don't want any more.

Ir risks putting someone in the role of therapist that removes some of the independence and there are Freudian connotations about that, that discomfort me. I promise you I'm compassionate but haven't time to become someone's therapist. Some females are happy with that role (it may involve an element of control) but again, when the person has healed they'll change, so the basis of the relationship will change. (There are too many cases in real life where a therapy cures someone so they abandon the source of the "cure")

So, sad as it might be, this girl simply may not be interested. There are so many "what ifs" to make an answer impossible. She could just be capricious; flighty, falls in and out of love every day.

Find someone just to like, to build a good friendship with. Avoid using the word "love" until there are REAL signs of a bond.
.
Yep some people are like that. Some people aren't. I don't believe a person should be judged by their mental illness, but instead their values, beliefs. And behavior. I highly doubt there's one person in this world that doesn't have some type of mental health problem.
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