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Go Back   Spiritual Forums > Spirituality & Beliefs > Love & Relationships -Friends and Family

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  #11  
Old 23-01-2018, 04:06 PM
hellabomer hellabomer is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by linen53
It sounds to me like he was putting up a false front, trying to fit into your head space.

What I've found is "Love will come to you", not, "You will find love".

It could be. I think that he is not as mature as he appeared to be, initially. Because he doesn't realize that just accepting your flaws is not enough if you are going to repeat the pattern. We have to grow as well. I don't have any anger or hatred towards him. Just sadness.
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  #12  
Old 23-01-2018, 04:13 PM
linen53 linen53 is offline
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Show yourself some kindness, you deserve it right now.
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If you hit rock bottom, start picking up rocks.

By embracing my imperfections I am becoming perfect.
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  #13  
Old 23-01-2018, 04:23 PM
hellabomer hellabomer is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by linen53
Show yourself some kindness, you deserve it right now.

Thank you. I'd like to show some kindness to compassion to myself now. It's funny how easy it is to care about others but it takes such a great amount of efforts to show the very same love to ourselves.
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  #14  
Old 23-01-2018, 04:38 PM
linen53 linen53 is offline
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Maybe this is what you were supposed to learn from this experience.
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Deb

If you hit rock bottom, start picking up rocks.

By embracing my imperfections I am becoming perfect.
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  #15  
Old 23-01-2018, 04:49 PM
hellabomer hellabomer is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by linen53
Maybe this is what you were supposed to learn from this experience.

Yes. Self-love, surrendering and letting go of attachments have been some recurring lessons in my life. Thank you so much. :)
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  #16  
Old 23-01-2018, 06:18 PM
OEN34 OEN34 is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by hellabomer
Yes, I am trying to accept everything; these uncomfortable thoughts and feelings. It is hard, of course. And I cry at night. But I know that if I manage to sit through this pain instead of distracting myself from it, something beautiful awaits at the end of this dark tunnel.

And I am going to work on self-love through some videos, books and meditation practices. It's the first time I want to fully give myself a chance to live. I have battled through depression for years, and I think it's high time that I should learn to embrace this physical existence. It's a long process though, and I am a little scared of the unknown, too.

This is all really great stuff

Discomfort is growth - remember that
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  #17  
Old 23-01-2018, 07:08 PM
hellabomer hellabomer is offline
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Originally Posted by OEN34
This is all really great stuff

Discomfort is growth - remember that

Yes. Thank you so much.
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  #18  
Old 23-01-2018, 07:20 PM
pluralone pluralone is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by hellabomer
Yes, I am trying to accept everything; these uncomfortable thoughts and feelings. It is hard, of course. And I cry at night. But I know that if I manage to sit through this pain instead of distracting myself from it, something beautiful awaits at the end of this dark tunnel.

And I am going to work on self-love through some videos, books and meditation practices. It's the first time I want to fully give myself a chance to live. I have battled through depression for years, and I think it's high time that I should learn to embrace this physical existence. It's a long process though, and I am a little scared of the unknown, too.

You certainly have a healthy attitude, hellabomer. Good for you!

For what it's worth, one thing that helped me when I was first working on learning to love myself was this: Periodically throughout the day I'd take a good look at what I was thinking, what kinds of things I was saying to myself. Wow was I a nag! Lots of thoughts were going through my head that called into question my worth and insisted that I was unlovable. So I'd gently correct those thoughts and set my mind on something better.

At first the corrections I made didn't quite seem accurate - especially when I was correcting "I hate me" to "I love me" - but there was a deeper part of me that recognized the truth when I heard it, and the corrections I made also served to draw that part of me to the surface. It took a long time, but I went from having a deficit in self esteem to having a good, healthy sense of self love.

I still struggle with things - that's life - but at my core I love me. Quite the improvement over self loathing, and one bonus benefit is that I'm more capable of processing through the difficulties in my life because I'm not longer fighting with myself. That's huge.

I wish you a quick journey in learning self love, but even if it takes a long time it'll be well worth the effort. Please keep us posted as you proceed.
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  #19  
Old 23-01-2018, 07:49 PM
hellabomer hellabomer is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by pluralone
You certainly have a healthy attitude, hellabomer. Good for you!

For what it's worth, one thing that helped me when I was first working on learning to love myself was this: Periodically throughout the day I'd take a good look at what I was thinking, what kinds of things I was saying to myself. Wow was I a nag! Lots of thoughts were going through my head that called into question my worth and insisted that I was unlovable. So I'd gently correct those thoughts and set my mind on something better.

At first the corrections I made didn't quite seem accurate - especially when I was correcting "I hate me" to "I love me" - but there was a deeper part of me that recognized the truth when I heard it, and the corrections I made also served to draw that part of me to the surface. It took a long time, but I went from having a deficit in self esteem to having a good, healthy sense of self love.

I still struggle with things - that's life - but at my core I love me. Quite the improvement over self loathing, and one bonus benefit is that I'm more capable of processing through the difficulties in my life because I'm not longer fighting with myself. That's huge.

I wish you a quick journey in learning self love, but even if it takes a long time it'll be well worth the effort. Please keep us posted as you proceed.

Thank you for such a helpful message. I would definitely try using positive affirmations.

And thank you for thinking I have a healthy attitude, but honestly, I am not at all positive or healthy. In fact, I continuously indulge in self-loathing and suicidal thoughts.

But I am tired of this pain. I am tired of questioning why I am not good enough for anyone. I think that since their is no escape, better learn to accept myself and this life and try to live it more lovingly.
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  #20  
Old 23-01-2018, 09:30 PM
OEN34 OEN34 is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by hellabomer
But I am tired of this pain. I am tired of questioning why I am not good enough for anyone. I think that since their is no escape, better learn to accept myself and this life and try to live it more lovingly.

This certainly sounds positive to me

To even be aware enough to recognise you feel a lack of self love is the first step towards greatness.

Continually work on yourself daily; what get out what you put in.
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