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Go Back   Spiritual Forums > Spirituality & Beliefs > Love & Relationships -Friends and Family

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  #1  
Old 20-01-2018, 08:29 AM
angelic star angelic star is offline
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Men are from Mars.. Women are from venus

Has anyone read this book ? I haven't yet but well the title kind of says a lot and has some truth in it.
It feels to me when I talk to my girlfriends or women mostly, that there is a big communication gap at times with their partners. The attraction no matter how real, men are women are wired differently.
Women are more emotional, easily express, in the moment with their emotions, while men have a very hard time expressing, cannot connect to their emotions and well like challenge/ chase. As a mentor / councellor to numerous people I have seen both men and women act very differently. Women are more connected to emotions, and will give and give and drain themselves even if the guy is a total jerk. Even when their are red flags everywhere and everyone had advised them to stop, they plunge right in. Then there is that point when all resources have been drained, and everything is long overdue, overdone. Men well they they cannot connect to emotions or express how they feel easily.
A friend of mine loved a girl for years but he always withdrew, pushed her around until the very end. Then one day he told me " I had messaged her a few days before she was about to get married, but she never replied . Painful " I was like dude and you call that rejection ?!!? when someone is about to get married and you suddenly out of the blue want to talk them when you haven't let them in all this while.
I don't think that men are non emotional, sometimes they are more emotional than women. Like fire cracker emotional but well, I don't feel their triggers are always the same as women. And there is a huge gap of communication there that people have to deal with.
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  #2  
Old 20-01-2018, 11:00 AM
OEN34 OEN34 is offline
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Heard of the book, but never read it. I remember my mums friend insisting her read it when I was a kid.

There's some large assumptions in your post. Communication is person-dependent in my experience. Sure, if we were to take 100 women and 100 men, run tests on them all I'd hedge a bet there's a higher percentage of women who are more emotional than men. I think that's a given.

But emotions doesn't mean expression is different as such. In what way are we talking expressing? Emotionally or in a communicable manner?

There's expressing yourself by crying, screaming and balling. Or there's expressing yourself in a communicable way, asking questions, explaining yourself rationally to get your opinion across and also to understand their view on things.

I honestly think women aren't actually more connected to their emotions. More emotional, yes. More connected, no - not in my experience.

The men I know are far more connected emotionally than the women I know, but this isn't to say 'all women are disconnected emotionally and are irrational' before the Women's Rights brigade jump on me :)

As I said, it is person specific, but on a whole, IME, women are not in control of their emotions compared to men.

I think it's fair to say women express their desires more than men in a relationship.

A lady I am seeing currently is the polar opposite to me in terms of communicating and expressing emotions. She shuts down and shuts me out, where I am an open book and like to communicate and ask questions.

For every one like her there are perhaps 5 men who are the same.

Very non black and white IMO
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  #3  
Old 20-01-2018, 11:12 AM
angelic star angelic star is offline
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Quote:
But emotions doesn't mean expression is different as such. In what way are we talking expressing? Emotionally or in a communicable manner?
Quote:
There's expressing yourself by crying, screaming and balling. Or there's expressing yourself in a communicable way, asking questions, explaining yourself rationally to get your opinion across and also to understand their view on things.

Expressed or not, sometimes you can even gesture and the other person will know. When your partner is being cold you will know. There can be a silent communion between two people, and that expression might be a soul bond. Who said it has to be shouting, screaming , yelling. That was not the point of my post.


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I honestly think women aren't actually more connected to their emotions. More emotional, yes. More connected, no - not in my experience.

Disagree :) IMO and in my experience NO !

Quote:
The men I know are far more connected emotionally than the women I know, but this isn't to say 'all women are disconnected emotionally and are irrational' before the Women's Rights brigade jump on me :)

Are you saying all men or men in general are always rational and connected perfectly ? that they never go off rails ? or just a small percentage of men in the world go off rails compared to the larger percentage of women by your estimation.


Quote:
As I said, it is person specific, but on a whole, IME, women are not in control of their emotions compared to men.

Really ? In my experience with people can go on the extreme ends, lying, obsession cheating, control on the negative end of the spectrum. I think both men and woman are capable of it. This is not to take sides. It will be unfair to say ONLY men and boys are in perfect control of emotions. So still disagree :)
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Old 20-01-2018, 01:22 PM
Lorelyen Lorelyen is offline
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I agree, it isn't because men aren't emotional and (as a generalisation only) are less in contact with their emotions, but they aren't allowed the same development as women are. I reckon it's to do with the relationship with their mothers that takes a sharp turn when they reach puberty and are socially required to model their bearing on other males, the father ideally.

Men hold back a lot more because until pretty recently, it wasn't done to show their emotions.

As I see it.
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Old 20-01-2018, 01:36 PM
angelic star angelic star is offline
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I agree, it isn't because men aren't emotional and (as a generalisation only) are less in contact with their emotions, but they aren't allowed the same development as women are. I reckon it's to do with the relationship with their mothers that takes a sharp turn when they reach puberty and are socially required to model their bearing on other males, the father ideally.

That's true, it usually isn't seen as acceptable for men to show emotions , so a lot of them hold it back. That's not to say they don't have emotions or are less emotional than women. Think of all the great male writer or poets, they had the capacity to be vulnerable.
A girl's relationship with her father and a guy's relationship to his mother, defines a lot how they develop partnerships later in life.
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  #6  
Old 20-01-2018, 01:41 PM
angelic star angelic star is offline
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Here's a cheesy love poem by WB Yeats and Shakespeare ~



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Old 20-01-2018, 02:24 PM
OEN34 OEN34 is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by angelic star
Expressed or not, sometimes you can even gesture and the other person will know. When your partner is being cold you will know. There can be a silent communion between two people, and that expression might be a soul bond. Who said it has to be shouting, screaming , yelling. That was not the point of my post.




Disagree :) IMO and in my experience NO !



Are you saying all men or men in general are always rational and connected perfectly ? that they never go off rails ? or just a small percentage of men in the world go off rails compared to the larger percentage of women by your estimation.




Really ? In my experience with people can go on the extreme ends, lying, obsession cheating, control on the negative end of the spectrum. I think both men and woman are capable of it. This is not to take sides. It will be unfair to say ONLY men and boys are in perfect control of emotions. So still disagree :)


A gesture is very different. I get what you're saying, but you're going off piste from your original post. You were talking about emotions between men and women. The crying, balling, screaming reference was to give an example.

Nope, I am not saying all men are perfect - far from it. Perhaps you are perceiving it that way. As I said a few times in my post; it is person specific, but I still stand by (IME) that women are more emotional than men. It's how we're wired. JMO again.

Again, I didn't say only men are rational I said IME they are more rational than women when it comes to emotions. But, again, for every 10 men I know who I say are very rational, you'll probably come back with 20 women who you say are more rational than the men you know, and that men are lying, cheating scumbags
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Old 20-01-2018, 09:16 PM
ocean breeze ocean breeze is offline
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Old 20-01-2018, 09:27 PM
Nature Grows Nature Grows is offline
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Lol @ that post ocean breeze.

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Originally Posted by angelic star
A girl's relationship with her father and a guy's relationship to his mother, defines a lot how they develop partnerships later in life.
Iv never heard this before, why do you think this? im not arguing with you or anything im just curious as to why you said that.
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  #10  
Old 21-01-2018, 03:18 AM
angelic star angelic star is offline
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Originally Posted by Nature Grows
Lol @ that post ocean breeze.


Iv never heard this before, why do you think this? im not arguing with you or anything im just curious as to why you said that.

Isn't this like a given. Most of our partnerships prepare us for the next, and family is like close. If a girl was abused by her step father, she will have a different view about men in general, or a boy who grew up with a dysfunctional mother.
These are strong statements to bring on this post, I wanted to explore something else. More like men and women have different triggers emotionally. it was not to say who has more control and is better of two.
If someone stays in abusive or bad partnership, they are likely to view the opposite sex negatively, than one who has had healthier upbringing.
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