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  #21  
Old 08-02-2018, 07:48 AM
shivatar shivatar is offline
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Originally Posted by Shivani Devi
Heh...I've smoked a ton of weed over the past 3 days (after one month abstinence) and I'm getting some more for Shiva Ratri. I've basically gone to once a month now, but I don't need to ask God 'why' when I get ripped because I know why...it's when I am sober that I just don't 'get it'. =)

In fact, gonna make a post in this forum about the past 3 days and the 'Aghori Sacrament'...yeah, I tend to meditate, chant and go into trance during that state...and then write articles on the Trika Shaivite Philosophy...yeah, I'm weird that way...I'll post the link here when I'm done.

Weed is a weird one. It's experience is no mind, or foggy mind. So to smoke it teaches us a really specific thing. If we are trying to connect with the mind and material world, weed is bad, if we are trying to get some space and disconnect, weed is very good.
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  #22  
Old 09-02-2018, 04:20 AM
Shivani Devi Shivani Devi is offline
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Originally Posted by shivatar
Weed is a weird one. It's experience is no mind, or foggy mind. So to smoke it teaches us a really specific thing. If we are trying to connect with the mind and material world, weed is bad, if we are trying to get some space and disconnect, weed is very good.
I agree 100%.

Although, I tend to either get terribly philosophical without speaking from any kind of intellectual/brain awareness whatsoever (and just go on for hours about how immense, awesome and amazing Shiva is and He's the only one saying "yeah I know it and I'm allowed to be totally 'Self-indulgent' because I'm God") or else, I colour in mandalas to try and access my subconscious mind and do a 'Carl Jung'...and if all else fails, I watch epic cat fails on Youtube....when I'm stoned, it gets very weird.

That whole topic of Bedha-Abheda Tattwa is usually what happens when I'm wasted...or I'll wake up, like this morning and my fingers are all swollen, bruised and purple and I'm like "what the f-...how did that happen?" totally oblivious to the fact (until many hours later) that I attended a Shamanic drumming class last night, I commandeered this huge African Djembe, went into a deep shamanic trance on weed...three hours later, everybody had left and I was still drumming.

Yeah, so that tends to happen and I didn't even feel any of this soft-tissue damage I did to all the joints on my fingers because I was so blissed out on the 'Great Spirit'...but today, I'm paying for that because I can hardly type.

Only my 'stoned mind' can understand the quantum tetryonic atomic orbitals of sacred fractals...like I said...it gets really weird.




Om Namah Shivaya
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  #23  
Old 18-06-2018, 07:02 AM
kralaro kralaro is offline
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Shivani Devi: "ask Him yourself!".

Got that.
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  #24  
Old 21-06-2018, 02:26 AM
shivatar shivatar is offline
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Originally Posted by Shivani Devi
Here we go, Shivatar...THIS is what happens when I get wasted, so it's something I have to totally limit:

http://www.spiritualforums.com/vb/sh...d.php?t=120562

Aum Namah Shivaya

haha. it's good to see you again

i havent been logging on to SF in a while either. I might check it every few days but I havent posted a lot in the last 6 months or so. Been busy with life.

how have you been?
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  #25  
Old 21-06-2018, 06:49 AM
Shivani Devi Shivani Devi is offline
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Originally Posted by shivatar
haha. it's good to see you again

i havent been logging on to SF in a while either. I might check it every few days but I havent posted a lot in the last 6 months or so. Been busy with life.

how have you been?
I'm only coming on here for about an hour once a week myself, as things have slowed right down for me to almost a grinding halt and I'll only post if I see something really interesting (which is rare now).

Right now, I am studying Hermetics, the Kaballah and Sacred Alchemy and I haven't had a smoke of weed since I made that post above...possessing it is a crime worse than murder in this country.

I've come to the realisation that I am a 'Shadow Person' and I'm gaining full acceptance of that fact, as it is something beyond my control to change in any way and so, I am learning to live with it and existing 'in between dimensions' as it were.

I was studying the Great Arcanum today and it was talking about Tantra...it said "unless one has a partner, they cannot raise Kundalini" and I was calling 'bulls***' (as evidenced by all the great celibate and self-realised monks since time immemorial) and then I heard it "they didn't say that your 'partner' had to be flesh and bone, existing in this dimension, did they? so what am I then...chopped liver?"

Oh great, so I seem to be betrothed to one of the Elohim...but of course, we already knew that one, didn't we?

So, finding my own 'personal strengths' is difficult, but I am learning how to rely on and tap into the combined strength of Mortal AND Divine to make some kind of hybrid creature within me...as holding it back is destroying both aspects of my soul/psyche.

This is what I have been doing...how are you, by the way? my dear friend.

Aum Namah Shivaya
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  #26  
Old 22-06-2018, 06:38 PM
shivatar shivatar is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Shivani Devi
I'm only coming on here for about an hour once a week myself, as things have slowed right down for me to almost a grinding halt and I'll only post if I see something really interesting (which is rare now).

Right now, I am studying Hermetics, the Kaballah and Sacred Alchemy and I haven't had a smoke of weed since I made that post above...possessing it is a crime worse than murder in this country.

I've come to the realisation that I am a 'Shadow Person' and I'm gaining full acceptance of that fact, as it is something beyond my control to change in any way and so, I am learning to live with it and existing 'in between dimensions' as it were.

I was studying the Great Arcanum today and it was talking about Tantra...it said "unless one has a partner, they cannot raise Kundalini" and I was calling 'bulls***' (as evidenced by all the great celibate and self-realised monks since time immemorial) and then I heard it "they didn't say that your 'partner' had to be flesh and bone, existing in this dimension, did they? so what am I then...chopped liver?"

Oh great, so I seem to be betrothed to one of the Elohim...but of course, we already knew that one, didn't we?

So, finding my own 'personal strengths' is difficult, but I am learning how to rely on and tap into the combined strength of Mortal AND Divine to make some kind of hybrid creature within me...as holding it back is destroying both aspects of my soul/psyche.

This is what I have been doing...how are you, by the way? my dear friend.

Aum Namah Shivaya

I'm not sure if I am a shadow person but I've felt like a ghost so many times before in my life. like i am between life and death, not alive or dead either. Well, most certainly alive, but not alive in a normal way, alive like a zombie. Things just happen on auto pilot a lot of the time, I always have to try and be conscious, it is not effortless yet.

I also have battles between light and dark inside me too. The light in me says and shows that it is my true nature and is what is at my deepest core. But the shadow in me says it is what I mostly am. The shadow says it is my strength. When I am feeling weak, the darkness calls out to me, "use me, you don't have to feel this pain. The pain is from resisting your strength". So many times I allow the darkness in so I won't feel the pain. I am learning though. I am learning how to deal with pain without allowing darkness to deal with it for me. Darkness is never good with dealing with problems, it only hides them and saves them for later. Light is also not that great for it either, something in between is.

I practiced tantra the other day. There is so much to tantra that needs to be done properly before kundalini raises. Also I think Kundalini is not something unique to tantra, but tantra is a unique path for kundalini and allows it to arise quite easily in comparison to other paths. Also I agree that tantra cannot be practiced without a partner. Tantra is about intimacy and connection between two beings, that intimacy involves emotional intimacy, physical intimacy, and spirtiual intimacy. And you need an alive partner for physical intimacy :0

Why are you bethroned to one of the elohim? Why would you accept such a destiny? It's not my place to tell you what you should understand, but I do believe you deserve someone who is real and who is equally human as you are.

Overall I have been quite miserable these last 6 months. I did it to myself through my use of drugs. I'm full of regret because I couldnt anticipate how I would be now, but I also try to remember that I had a good time and it wasn't all for nothing. basically i've been depressed and separated from my spirituality for 6 months now. It's coming back online now and I constantly feel glimmers of light breaking through so I know I'll be OK in time. I've also just been doing regular things, going to work, hanging out with friends, etc. I haven't been doing any divine work like building things or teaching people because I just haven't felt that part of me awaken in a while.
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  #27  
Old 24-06-2018, 03:57 PM
Shivani Devi Shivani Devi is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by shivatar
I'm not sure if I am a shadow person but I've felt like a ghost so many times before in my life. like i am between life and death, not alive or dead either. Well, most certainly alive, but not alive in a normal way, alive like a zombie. Things just happen on auto pilot a lot of the time, I always have to try and be conscious, it is not effortless yet.

I also have battles between light and dark inside me too. The light in me says and shows that it is my true nature and is what is at my deepest core. But the shadow in me says it is what I mostly am. The shadow says it is my strength. When I am feeling weak, the darkness calls out to me, "use me, you don't have to feel this pain. The pain is from resisting your strength". So many times I allow the darkness in so I won't feel the pain. I am learning though. I am learning how to deal with pain without allowing darkness to deal with it for me. Darkness is never good with dealing with problems, it only hides them and saves them for later. Light is also not that great for it either, something in between is.

I practiced tantra the other day. There is so much to tantra that needs to be done properly before kundalini raises. Also I think Kundalini is not something unique to tantra, but tantra is a unique path for kundalini and allows it to arise quite easily in comparison to other paths. Also I agree that tantra cannot be practiced without a partner. Tantra is about intimacy and connection between two beings, that intimacy involves emotional intimacy, physical intimacy, and spirtiual intimacy. And you need an alive partner for physical intimacy :0

Why are you bethroned to one of the elohim? Why would you accept such a destiny? It's not my place to tell you what you should understand, but I do believe you deserve someone who is real and who is equally human as you are.

Overall I have been quite miserable these last 6 months. I did it to myself through my use of drugs. I'm full of regret because I couldnt anticipate how I would be now, but I also try to remember that I had a good time and it wasn't all for nothing. basically i've been depressed and separated from my spirituality for 6 months now. It's coming back online now and I constantly feel glimmers of light breaking through so I know I'll be OK in time. I've also just been doing regular things, going to work, hanging out with friends, etc. I haven't been doing any divine work like building things or teaching people because I just haven't felt that part of me awaken in a while.
Let me ask you something...do you have a girlfriend/partner/significant other? Or do you find that your traumatic past, lifestyle choices, spiritual beliefs and stubborn independence would always get in the way of it?

There is a reason why Lord Shiva is my "better half" and that's because no human being has the stomach for my "stuff"...they are too soft and weak. God only knows (quite literally) the number of times I have opened myself up to others, only to get; "please stop, I can't take this" after like the first five minutes and I need somebody/thing to offload on to or else I'll go stir crazy.

So, the relationship is totally symbiotic...I give Him my life and He gives me His love.

Just by the by....when the "inventor" of Tantra becomes ones Tantric partner, all the "rules" get rewritten and the whole physical aspect becomes superfluous. :)

Aum Namah Shivaya
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  #28  
Old 26-06-2018, 12:41 AM
shivatar shivatar is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Shivani Devi
Let me ask you something...do you have a girlfriend/partner/significant other? Or do you find that your traumatic past, lifestyle choices, spiritual beliefs and stubborn independence would always get in the way of it?

There is a reason why Lord Shiva is my "better half" and that's because no human being has the stomach for my "stuff"...they are too soft and weak. God only knows (quite literally) the number of times I have opened myself up to others, only to get; "please stop, I can't take this" after like the first five minutes and I need somebody/thing to offload on to or else I'll go stir crazy.

So, the relationship is totally symbiotic...I give Him my life and He gives me His love.

Just by the by....when the "inventor" of Tantra becomes ones Tantric partner, all the "rules" get rewritten and the whole physical aspect becomes superfluous. :)

Aum Namah Shivaya

I'm not currently in a committed relationship but I have people in my life who I feel things for and do things with. The pain in my past, the relationships I never got into because of the pain, my choice to abandon relationships, all got in the way of my relationships but I keep trying. I notice that as time goes on and I keep failing I also keep improving. I gain a little more awareness and experience about myself because of the relationships. Even when we dont date, I still gain something valuable. Maybe all I learn is a new bit of slang or new words to say. Maybe all I learn is that I'm being desperate and clingy and I need to tone it down. maybe all i learn is I shouldnt talk to people on the phone for over 30 minutes because its kind of weird to talk to new people on the phone for 90+ minutes (who knew! i didnt lol). maybe all i learn is that I have completly unrealistic expectations, hopes, and am unwilling to look at my own situation before finding a relationship. these are just a few of the things Ive learned recently. there are thousands of lessons I've learned and i haven't even gotten into a relationship lately. There are probably hundreds of thousands of lessons to learn when I do get into one!

Finding a relationship isnt that terribly tough. If you want a bad one you can find one very easily. finding a good relationship, the right relationship, is very hard.

I think being in a long-term relationship is an essential part of life. A physical and intimate relationship (mostly, but I also mean an emotional and spiritual relationship too), not a (purely) spiritual relationship like the one with God. Having a relationship like that just does something very healing for the heart, I'm not sure what or how but I know it does something good. it also empowers us to grow and be more than we could on our own.

I'm not saying we should be in relationships for all of our life. but if we haven't yet experienced a deep, long lasting, and transformative love then I think that is an essential part of life we shouldnt miss out on. even if we are nearing the grave, if we havent had it, we should seek it out!

Finding true love is like my #1 goal in life. My biggest challenge, and when I achieve it, my greatest victory!
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  #29  
Old 07-09-2018, 07:05 PM
dattaswami dattaswami is offline
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(Excerpt from message of Shri Datta Swami)

As per Veda, Shivascha Narayana and Brahmascha Narayana and hence mean all the three are only one and the same and that one and only Parabrahman is Lord Datta.

God is like free electrons flowing in the atmosphere. These Electrons are the electricity. Then can you heat water by keeping the vessel containing water in the atmosphere? When these Electrons enter a medium like the metallic wire, you can heat water. If the medium is human form it is most convenient for you to clear your doubts, to love and to serve Him.

Lord Krishna in Gita repeatedly told that He comes again and again 'Dharma samsthapanardhaya sambhavami yuge..', 'Yadaa Yadahi ..', 'Manushim tanumasritam..' etc. so, human incarnation of Lord is coming in every human generation. Otherwise, if one generation was only blessed by such fortune, the other generations will charge God as partial and such charge is justified.

posted by: surya (disciple of Swamiji)
www.universal-spirituality.org
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