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  #11  
Old 01-02-2018, 04:03 AM
Shivani Devi Shivani Devi is offline
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By the way, thank you for reminding me about that photograph - I had forgotten all about it! Here it is again, for reference:
http://www.spiritualforums.com/vb/sh...60&postcount=9

Also, I'm just going to post a Lord Shiva picture below (because I can). For me, Lord Shiva is much, much more than a 'Point of Light' or a 'Ball of Energy' and I mean, he can be all that too - there's absolutely NO limiting Shiva into any form...any concept...even being a 'humanoid creature' or the 'God of Death' or anything our limited minds can conceive it to be - Shiva is everything...everything! however, it is in 'Human Form' that He first introduced Himself to me and it's 'His' Human Form that I find to be the most endearing quality and I cannot give that up - not that I would ever want to anyway - as it leads me to understand Shiva in all form - as Brahman Absolute as well.



Aum Namah Shivaya
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  #12  
Old 02-02-2018, 02:59 AM
Shivani Devi Shivani Devi is offline
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Namaste, Shivatar and All.

With this post, you all shall gain an insight deep into my heart - my very core.

Lord Shiva is not only everything I could ever want and hope for in a God, but also, in a man. A being full of incredible love and light, but also formidable darkness, infinite mystery, incalculable wisdom and unbridled passion.

To be totally in love and enamoured by a Hindu Deva is a wild ride - of mind, heart, body and soul. He deeply touches me on all these levels! One moment, He can appear as Rishabh Deva, being the most handsome, courageous, powerful and potent thing I have ever experienced and the next, He takes the form of Mahakaal - to overcome the fear and terror of death and the unknown with His unending love.

Yes, He is the 'perfect man' for me. He can be anything that my heart desires (when He isn't teaching me a lesson). He can also be so incredibly cute that it boils the blood of this 'hot-blooded' woman. He invented Yoga (Aadi Yogi), He is an amazing dancer, dancing the whole cosmos into existence, He can play any musical instrument given to Him, but He prefers the veena and damru, and to hear Him sing just creates waves of ecstatic bliss.

Lord Shiva is also very passionate, extremely sensual (not sexual), is the master physician and healer, demonstrated by the crescent moon He keeps in His wild, untamed locks and is the epitome of masculine potency, virility and unending powerful energy (Shakti) as represented by the Jyotir Lingam. His knowledge and awareness of everything is total and complete within itself - the only entity which can stop my limited, human intellect dead in its tracks.

I've come to 'know' Lord Shiva on a very personal and intimate level. Even though He is the 'Destroyer' and the 'God of Death', what really gets 'destroyed'? and what really 'dies' if everything is Brahman Absolute? if everything is only what this 'form' of Lord Shiva merely represents? and I don't mind so much if there's 'not much love for Shiva' because I realise that I love Him deeply and this just means there's more of His attention and affections left for me to enjoy. I often think that Kali is going to get jealous one of these days and I, for one, wouldn't like to get on Kali's 'bad side'.

Lord Shiva's "Yakshaswaroopa" (Demonic form) is a glorious sight to behold! It's when He goes dancing throughout the Universe totally naked (Sky Clad) and using all forms of visible matter as His adornments. This is what is meant when we say "Digambaraya". It is the form of the Formless, which cannot be perceived through and via any senses and yet, everything in existence IS that! - a powerful, entropic display of cyclic fractals. This is also Sadashiva - the being who strings galaxies on quantum threads and makes His garlands from them.

Lord Shiva may be the "God of Death/Destruction" but usually, Lord Yama has that role and of course, Lord Yama (Yamaraj) is just another aspect of Lord Shiva, but devotion to Lord Shiva can also mitigate the eventuality of being visited by the "Grim Reaper". This is beautifully illustrated by the tale of Markandeya.

I forget all the details of the story, but once upon a time there was a very pious saint, a devotee of Lord Shiva (forget his name) and both he, and his wife had been trying for about 40 years to conceive a child, but his wife was barren - or he was infertile - or something, but for some reason, it just wasn't meant to be...but he wasn't about to give up, so he prayed to and beseeched Lord Shiva for a boon - that his wife give birth to a son - even though they were both in their 60's by this stage.

After years of worship, ritual and loving service, Lord Shiva appeared and granted the sage the boon that his wife would give birth to a son, but there was also a huge catch (there usually is with boons that Lord Shiva grants). The child would reach the age of 16 and then contract a mysterious illness and die and there was nothing that could be done about it; and so it was that 9 months later, his wife gave birth to a son and they named him Markandeya.

Now, the truth of his fate was hidden from Markandeya, but ever since birth, he showed an incredible love and devotion towards Lord Shiva. He was in ecstatic bliss worshiping Lord Shiva almost always and his parents couldn't be happier. Then, when Markandeya was 16, he contracted a fatal illness and was told about the events of his birth and the prophecy which was foretold by Lord Shiva. Markandeya didn't want to leave the world. He wanted to spend a very long life worshiping the Lord, teaching others and helping people. He felt that this was his destiny which he was being 'robbed of' by the selfish needs of his parents.

So, Markandeya went into full-on concentrated worship of Lord Shiva - praying for a 'boon' of his own, but day after day, he became sicker and sicker until he was no longer able to focus, concentrate or worship - just hugging the Shiva Lingam. Then, with his dying breath, Lord Yama appeared to claim his soul and take it to the "Underworld" but as soon as Lord Yama appeared, so did Lord Shiva and the two began to fight it out for the custody of Markandeya's immortal Soul. To cut a long story much shorter, in the end, Lord Yama was sent packing by Lord Shiva and Markandeya ended up living a very long and fruitful existence in the service of the Lord.

Lord Shiva is not only the source of death and destruction, but also the source of infinite Love, Mercy and Grace. It is shown in the Puranas (and it has also been quite a while since I studied them) and it is the Puranic 'form' of Lord Shiva that I most closely identify with, even though I fully realise that this is only a front for the boundless and infinite representation of Pure Consciousness known as Brahman. Brahman is the glorious Truth, Consciousness and Bliss (Satchidananda) which this Saguna (attributed) form merely represents on all levels and with every glorious leela (Divine passtime) He enacts within this World. This is why He is also called "Mrityunjayaya" or the Supreme Conqueror OF Death! To know Lord Shiva is not to 'die' and to know Lord Shiva is to be free from the Kalachakra - the wheel of time, death and causality (Karma).

Oh Glorious Lord with the 'Third Eye' whose celestial fragrance pervades the Universe. May I be liberated from the bondage of false concepts, of fear, and even death itself, just as the ripe melon is liberated from the vine.

Om Tryambakam Yaja Mahe Sughandim Pushthi Vardhanam. Urvarukhamiva Bandhanaan Mrityor Mukshiye Mamritaat.

This is called the "Mahamrityunjaya Mantra" or 'The Great Death-Conquering Mantra" and it doesn't negate the eventuality of physical death, but the whole attachment to the body and mind; to the whole material world at the time of physical dissolution so that spiritual immortality (Moksha) is attained.

So, knowing what Lord Shiva truly IS (when not Myself), I still worship Him as a beautiful and potent masculine Deity because He has found that way to enter into my heart, being everything that I could ever want in a 'relationship' (until the relative ceases to exist) Divine or otherwise and I recall all of the Puranic Leelas with much delight and glee, as they are all a moral lesson and give instructions about how to love and worship Him unselfishly and unconditionally - and woe befall those who worship Him out of egotistical, selfish needs and desires. Bhasmasura, the 'Ash Demon' being the prime example (Ravana was another) and I shall relate the story of Bhasmasura in a later post, as it goes to illustrate the loving bond between Lord Shiva and Lord Vishnu in regards to who should live and who should die.

Also, one day I will make a thread on the whole Shiva Maha Purana and tell you all about the many wonderful passtimes of Lord Shiva, which reads like a cross between the Art of War and a Mills and Boon romance novel - very entertaining nonetheless. A while ago, I read "The Shiva Trilogy - The Immortals of Meluha" by Amish Tripari and it portrayed Lord Shiva as a man who became a God - and while it was a pretty far-fetched work of fiction that bored me to death, I still read it. I like to subscribe to the whole idea that Lord Shiva is a shape-shifting "Alien" or a cosmic entity from the Pleiades Star System and there's tons of evidence which bears this whole theory out. They also say that Mt. Kailash is a "man-made pyramid" which is hollow inside or it could also be an "Earth Portal" directly to the Pleiades itself and they have also found many deep tunnels under the Ellora Caves in India which once housed a splendid underground city around the same time as the Indus Valley Empire.

Originally and in the beginning, Lord Shiva was only a minor Deity, taking a 'back-seat' to the Sun Deity (Hiranyagarbhaya) and He was worshiped as Pashupati - the Lord of Beasts and also the Lord of hedonism, abundance, ritual, trance states, music, the Arts and basically everything "Shamanic". The correlation was made to Bacchus and Dionysis and yet, Pashupati also refers to and represents the Human condition of a Soul being in either the 'bound' or 'liberated' state - either being tethered to existence and conditioned in the ways of the world, or free and unfettered to experience the bliisful state of total immersion within the Pure Consciousness of a Universal, Transcendent, "Being". It is akin to a wild animal which after being domesticated, is returned to the wilderness and must learn to adapt to the ways of its unlimited environment.

So, it all goes back to Lord Yama - Yamaraj - the "Grim Reaper" who is but an emanation of the 'energies' of Lord Shiva. There are two nice tales about Lord Yama to be had. The first is found in the Katha Upanishad, where a young boy, Nachiketas committed suicide (by fire) due to the selfish acts of his own father, but Nachiketas was kept waiting at the gates of Patala (Hell) for three days and three nights whilst Lord Yama was absent doing his 'grim duties'. Upon returning, Lord Yama said to Nachiketas "Sorry for keeping you waiting for three days, so you may ask three boons from me now". The first boon that Nachiketas asked for, was for the forgiveness of his father. I forget the second one, but the third boon was that Lord Yama, himself become the boy's "Guru" and instruct him as to what happens to the Human Soul upon death and after it. Of course, Lord Yama didn't want to answer that one, offering instead wealth, notoriety, riches, fame etc but Nachiketas was resolute and thus, Lord Yama instructed him as to the nature of Brahman Absolute and taught him all the secrets of the Universe.

The second discourse is found in the Mahabharata, as King Duryodhana lay dying due to a fatal wound to his groin, inflicted by Bhima for acting lustfully towards Draupadi (wife of the Pandavas). As Duryodhana suffered a long and painful drawn-out death, a similar conversation was had with Lord Yama about the nature of life, death, the Universe and Everything. Ultimately, Nachiketas returned to Earth (it wasn't his time) to teach his father and others about the Vedas and Duryodhana was bade entrance to Heaven (Swarga) due to the intercession of Yudhisthira. There are so many great examples of these stories - but that's all they are, just stories (of which I know many).

Being a Hindu and worshiping Lord Shiva is in my blood, bones and marrow. It is a part of my Soul and who I am as a sentient being and it has gone on this way for many lifetimes. Whenever I hear something relating to the Epics, it's like "yeah, I knew that"; like a previous existence which has come to fruition and full-circle within this lifetime! It's like I have been with Lord Shiva in another place and in another time and I'm just remembering all of it now and it feels like I was one of the Devas myself, but maybe I'm just a 'Star-Seed' from the Pleiades.

Anyway, that's enough for now...more than enough to keep you all going and I may elaborate more in a subsequent post over the next week or so, but for now, so long, take care and the Shiva within me loves the Shiva within you all. Namaste.

Om Namah Shivaya
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  #13  
Old 05-02-2018, 04:53 AM
Shivani Devi Shivani Devi is offline
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Namaste and Salutations.

It would be totally remiss of me to say that I do not experience human emotions and sensations in the presence of the Divine, or reflecting upon my own Divinity (which is also a mere reflection of the Absolute Consciousness/Shiva).

It seems to follow an all too familiar path or pattern, activating every channel along the Ida (lunar) nadi or nerve, therefore switching on and fully opening every alternate Chakra, starting at Swadhisthana (Sacral), then Anahata (Heart) and finally, the Ajna or Third-Eye. So, of course, my Sacral Chakra is going to totally explode with exposure to the Prana OF the Sacred, but it is caused through and by unconditional love and not desire.

At first, I was quite purturbed by this...it totally unnerved me, how the sanctity and purity of all that was pure and beyond emotion and sensation was making me...well 'excited'. I even tried to console myself with the memory of what Lord Shiva did to Kama Deva (Cupid) under similar circumstances , but that was also after the fact of the inevitable occurring.

See, Lord Brahma and Indra Deva sent Kama Deva (God of passionate thoughts) and his partner, Rati along with the season of Vasant (Springtime) to Mt. Kailash to interrupt Lord Shiva's deep Samadhi to try and get Him interested in Parvati (who was seeking to gain His attention/affections for marriage), so the two could mate, produce a child (Lord Murugan) who it was foretold by prophecy, would kill the demon, Tarakasur who was totally terrorising all Three Worlds...I mean, it's a long story, but Lord Brahma and Indra Deva sent the 'passion party' to Mt. Kailash to disturb Shiva and snap Him out of it.

Well, that did happen, after an 'accident' occured first, which infuriated Lord Shiva so much, he opened His 'Third Eye' Chakra and burnt Kama Deva to ashes on the spot...BOOM SHANKAR! and then, Kama Deva was no more. One problem...the seed of Lord Shiva is so potent, volatile...I mean, the whole of the Big Bang is encoded within it...the blueprint for every material form and the 'Universal DNA' is encoded within it and the essence of pure Consciousness, itself is encoded within it and when God has an orgasm, super-massive black holes are created with event horizons which border the infinite.

So, His seed was taken to the Ganges River (Mother Ganga/Ganges is Lord Shiva's 'other wife' that He keeps within His Dhara... Jata Jhuta...matted topknot of hair) and His 'Sacred Emanation' was dispersed among the six River Goddesses who all became pregnant with the one being - Sanat Kumara - Lord Murugan...and so, it turns out that in the direct way, Paravti wasn't needed anyway however, Shakti still was, because only Shakti can carry and bear the full seed of Shiva - it would totally destroy anything else that even tried.

It is also interesting to note that the two 'children' of Shiva and Parvati weren't conceived in the 'usual' way...as a human child would be. We have already seen how Lord Murugan's (Sanat Kumara's) birth came about...well, I guess that Parvati thought; "If my husband can 'create a baby' without me, then let me try that...and so, before bathing one day, Mother Parvati took all the sandalwood paste, dirt, dust and scurf from her body and fashioned a poppet from it - then, She breathed life into the poppet and it became a young boy which Mother Parvati then put on 'guard duty' beside the stream she was nakedly bathing in - of course Lord Shiva didn't recognise Him as being the 'child of Parvati' and so, a scuffle ensued as Lord Shiva tried to re-unite with His wife and in the ensuing battle, the poor child became decapitated. Parvati arrived on the scene too late...She was totally infuriated with Shiva and was transforming into Kali to kill Him herself (or try) and so, to pacify Parvati, Lord Shiva sent the Trishula (Trident) on a mission to bring back the head of the first living creature it found...which as it was, happened to be a baby elephant.

I mean, Lord Shiva had practice at doing this....Prajapati Daksh received the head of a goat for his insolence, arrogance and total ignorance, but I digress. Shiva does sorta get remorseful after He beheads and kills things...but unfortunately the human head is no longer usable (in most cases) and how He deals with the whole problem of inter-species neural connections and tissue rejection is totally beyond my level of human understanding at this point. lol

So, we go back to me feeling aroused in this beautiful, loving presence...yup, Shiva killed Kama Deva - who was also brought 'back to life' at the insistence of Rati to live and flourish as a 'Spirit' inside the heart (and loins) of every human being, that being said...Kama (passion/desire) is also one of the four 'rites of passage' of the human birth and condition - Kama (passion), Artha (prosperity), Dharma (righteousness) and Moksha (liberation) which also corresponds to those chakras which are on the other nerve (nadi)...the Pingala or Solar nerve which remains closed off. For about a year, I noticed my Swadhisthana Chakra fully open and then fully regress, close-off and basically disintergrate upon my very first guilty thought of "NO! this should not be happening...this just ain't right...one just doesn't have 'sex' with 'God" and all the while, I kept feeling like the butt of a sick joke the universe was playing on me.

I mean, it wasn't like I really had any control over it, apart from 'controlling' it to 'cease and desist' which it would do for a short time before attacking my astral body with a vengeance once more the next time around and so, after a while and upon some Divine 'insistence', I finally allowed myself to fully surrender to what I was feeling on every level including the physical and I also understood that although Shiva burnt Kama Deva to ashes, He was the very first master of Tantra, Yoga and of the 84 sacred positions, Himself! and it doesn't get any more telling or revealing than that imho. Suffice to say, I was not disappointed as I was brought to the very brink of space-time and creation itself as I released my energies into unlimited potential and saw the reflection of all reflections in all glorious 5D MANifestation.

So afterwards, I usually end up asking the $64,000 question - "so tell me, Shiva...am I You or are You, me?" and of course, it shouldn't matter either way, but for some reason it does because it defines whether or not God is created within my own mind, or I have been created within the Mind of God and if Brahman alone exists, then what is Maya? is Maya the Illusion or indeed, Brahman if 'everything is Brahman'? and then the words of all the Great Ones echo inside me, "Through Shakti, Shiva becomes known" and yet, as my energies arise, the Grace also descends and seems to meet it 'half-way', within the sacred space of the Spiritual Heart, braiding all this DNA into functional dodecahedrons and shooting out short-wave Shakti energy from the core of all my multi-stranded genetic material superluminally.

Then, I can't really say anything about it...I mean the 'Original Sin' is still the 'Original Sin' in the minds and hearts of mortal men, leading to all kinds of perverse permutations of cognitive dissonance and cultural conditioning as per the limitations of 'objects' and 'labels' within the corporeal reflection of this vibration (Spanda) of Logos with "OMG you've f*cked the Creator" and all I could ever say to that is "uhhh...ummm...yeah" although it was more 'the other way around' but the angelic jury still remains out on that whole issue but it does put a whole new spin on ego-less 'Self-indulgence' either way and inserts the 'quanta' into 'quantum physics' and explores the limitation of perception in relation to form within any given Planck Constant.

And so, I'm still getting messages, from Shivatar, from Kralaro, from a few PM's; "the next time you see Shiva, can you ask Him this for me? can you get Him to tell me what I am thinking? are there any messages from Him to me?" and all I can ever say to that now, is 'ask Him yourself!' and that's pretty hard to do if one doesn't believe He exists in the first place or believes that it's 'all me' or I am 'making it all up'...yep, I am 'making it all up' in much the same way as I made the whole universe up and you are all me anyway, so this is just a moot exercise as seen from a subjective experiential standpoint of an awareness in Consciousness until nothing remains aware and so, there is nothing/nobody to 'ask Shiva' anything! get it?

Also, some people also seem to believe what they think of me, what they believe about me should affect me or bother me in some way...well I have big news for those people. I didn't get to where I am by 'listening to' or 'obeying' or 'believing' others, but by silently reflecting and listening within...to my own heart and once the ego has been bypassed, once you have told yourself to 'shut up' for the billionth time, it will happen...slowly and surely, it's going to happen!

So, when I ask Shiva now; "are you God?" or "are you an Alien?" He always replies with "well, what do YOU think?" and starts sounding like a first-year psychiatrist or a cheap advice columnist and I say "what I think doesn't matter" and of course, Shiva says "ah, but it DOES" and I say "if thinking is SO important, why are we trained to stop/go beyond our thoughts...eh"? and then, He gently touches my forehead and says; "so THIS can happen" and then I'm immersed within the bliss of the Absolute, yet again.

Aum Namah Shivaya
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Old 06-02-2018, 02:01 AM
Shivani Devi Shivani Devi is offline
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AAh, I notice I seem to have totally lost you all again and this is the whole reason why I don't go online much anymore or even talk to people much, if at all. It's because nobody can understand me.

At first, I thought it was a defective Vishuddhi (throat) Chakra...when in fact, whatever I say is just so deep and profound, unless one has either a degree in Hindu mysticism or philosophy OR has experienced Samadhi, it will just fly over everybody's cerebellum like the proverbial satellite ...and trying to 'dumb it down' is just as difficult for me, as trying to understand this in original context is for everybody else....so I often wonder, with great wonderment, what it actually is that makes me 'the same' as everybody else?

It's not really the question or the matter of myself going into 'Sattvik worship' as I like to ego-lessly 'identify' with somehow being 'beyond' the three gunas, but about 80% of the posts I make in and on this forum somehow go languishing and yet, whenever I say anything about this, I always get "just because I did not comment on the content, did not mean that I did not read and appreciate the content" which only goes to strengthen the whole "write a book then Shivani, if people only want to read and not give any feedback on whatever you write". Yet, the actual reading of a book somehow entails more 'free will' than reading posts on an internet forum does. lol

Then again, I also fully understand that there's no concept of 'time'...it simply does not exist, which may explain why a 'day' for me, is a 'month' for another and why it is thus, I am destined to have a very 'short life' like a candle which burns itself out with a roaring flame in somewhat of a short timespan (while the actual 'Light Body' remains under construction). So, I can only go and meditate because this is all I can do, while I am actually not the one doing anything....unlike typing on an internet forum. lol
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Old 06-02-2018, 03:41 AM
shivatar shivatar is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Shivani Devi
AAh, I notice I seem to have totally lost you all again and this is the whole reason why I don't go online much anymore or even talk to people much, if at all. It's because nobody can understand me.

At first, I thought it was a defective Vishuddhi (throat) Chakra...when in fact, whatever I say is just so deep and profound, unless one has either a degree in Hindu mysticism or philosophy OR has experienced Samadhi, it will just fly over everybody's cerebellum like the proverbial satellite ...and trying to 'dumb it down' is just as difficult for me, as trying to understand this in original context is for everybody else....so I often wonder, with great wonderment, what it actually is that makes me 'the same' as everybody else?

It's not really the question or the matter of myself going into 'Sattvik worship' as I like to ego-lessly 'identify' with somehow being 'beyond' the three gunas, but about 80% of the posts I make in and on this forum somehow go languishing and yet, whenever I say anything about this, I always get "just because I did not comment on the content, did not mean that I did not read and appreciate the content" which only goes to strengthen the whole "write a book then Shivani, if people only want to read and not give any feedback on whatever you write". Yet, the actual reading of a book somehow entails more 'free will' than reading posts on an internet forum does. lol

Then again, I also fully understand that there's no concept of 'time'...it simply does not exist, which may explain why a 'day' for me, is a 'month' for another and why it is thus, I am destined to have a very 'short life' like a candle which burns itself out with a roaring flame in somewhat of a short timespan (while the actual 'Light Body' remains under construction). So, I can only go and meditate because this is all I can do, while I am actually not the one doing anything....unlike typing on an internet forum. lol

its not that we don't understand you. but sometimes, at least for me, with these long posts there is not much of a question or something for us to reply to, it's mostly just a lecture type discourse where you tell us about your experiences or your spirituality.

After I read your other post at the end I was like "... idk what to post or reply too.... guess ill just go without saying anything" lol.


What makes you the same as everyone else? it's the sense of consciousness. the sense of "this is me" or "this is happening to me" or "i am here".

throughout my young life I've experienced great tragedies, and every time I come out the other side thinking nothing happened, because I expect there to be some change in my sense of self. However for the last many years its like there is no change in my sense of self. I always feel like me, always feel the same, no matter what heaven or hell I go through.



heyyyy, you gonna smoke a ton of weed on feb 12th for shivaratri? hahahaha. I went from smoking all day everyday to smoking once a week.

I've smoked 3 times in the last week though, so I think I might wait until the 12th to smoke and then get HELLA RIPPED. like my brain is going to be asking "why god, why" LOLOL.
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Old 06-02-2018, 03:41 AM
shivatar shivatar is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Shivani Devi
AAh, I notice I seem to have totally lost you all again and this is the whole reason why I don't go online much anymore or even talk to people much, if at all. It's because nobody can understand me.

At first, I thought it was a defective Vishuddhi (throat) Chakra...when in fact, whatever I say is just so deep and profound, unless one has either a degree in Hindu mysticism or philosophy OR has experienced Samadhi, it will just fly over everybody's cerebellum like the proverbial satellite ...and trying to 'dumb it down' is just as difficult for me, as trying to understand this in original context is for everybody else....so I often wonder, with great wonderment, what it actually is that makes me 'the same' as everybody else?

It's not really the question or the matter of myself going into 'Sattvik worship' as I like to ego-lessly 'identify' with somehow being 'beyond' the three gunas, but about 80% of the posts I make in and on this forum somehow go languishing and yet, whenever I say anything about this, I always get "just because I did not comment on the content, did not mean that I did not read and appreciate the content" which only goes to strengthen the whole "write a book then Shivani, if people only want to read and not give any feedback on whatever you write". Yet, the actual reading of a book somehow entails more 'free will' than reading posts on an internet forum does. lol

Then again, I also fully understand that there's no concept of 'time'...it simply does not exist, which may explain why a 'day' for me, is a 'month' for another and why it is thus, I am destined to have a very 'short life' like a candle which burns itself out with a roaring flame in somewhat of a short timespan (while the actual 'Light Body' remains under construction). So, I can only go and meditate because this is all I can do, while I am actually not the one doing anything....unlike typing on an internet forum. lol

its not that we don't understand you. but sometimes, at least for me, with these long posts there is not much of a question or something for us to reply to, it's mostly just a lecture type discourse where you tell us about your experiences or your spirituality.

After I read your other post at the end I was like "... idk what to post or reply too.... guess ill just go without saying anything" lol.


What makes you the same as everyone else? it's the sense of consciousness. the sense of "this is me" or "this is happening to me" or "i am here".

throughout my young life I've experienced great tragedies, and every time I come out the other side thinking nothing happened, because I expect there to be some change in my sense of self. However for the last many years its like there is no change in my sense of self. I always feel like me, always feel the same, no matter what heaven or hell I go through.



heyyyy, you gonna smoke a ton of weed on feb 12th for shivaratri? hahahaha. I went from smoking all day everyday to smoking once a week.

I've smoked 3 times in the last week though, so I think I might wait until the 12th to smoke and then get HELLA RIPPED. like my brain is going to be asking "why god, why" LOLOL.
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Old 08-02-2018, 06:17 AM
Shivani Devi Shivani Devi is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by shivatar
its not that we don't understand you. but sometimes, at least for me, with these long posts there is not much of a question or something for us to reply to, it's mostly just a lecture type discourse where you tell us about your experiences or your spirituality.

After I read your other post at the end I was like "... idk what to post or reply too.... guess ill just go without saying anything" lol.


What makes you the same as everyone else? it's the sense of consciousness. the sense of "this is me" or "this is happening to me" or "i am here".

throughout my young life I've experienced great tragedies, and every time I come out the other side thinking nothing happened, because I expect there to be some change in my sense of self. However for the last many years its like there is no change in my sense of self. I always feel like me, always feel the same, no matter what heaven or hell I go through.



heyyyy, you gonna smoke a ton of weed on feb 12th for shivaratri? hahahaha. I went from smoking all day everyday to smoking once a week.

I've smoked 3 times in the last week though, so I think I might wait until the 12th to smoke and then get HELLA RIPPED. like my brain is going to be asking "why god, why" LOLOL.
Heh...I've smoked a ton of weed over the past 3 days (after one month abstinence) and I'm getting some more for Shiva Ratri. I've basically gone to once a month now, but I don't need to ask God 'why' when I get ripped because I know why...it's when I am sober that I just don't 'get it'. =)

In fact, gonna make a post in this forum about the past 3 days and the 'Aghori Sacrament'...yeah, I tend to meditate, chant and go into trance during that state...and then write articles on the Trika Shaivite Philosophy...yeah, I'm weird that way...I'll post the link here when I'm done.
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Old 08-02-2018, 06:41 AM
Shivani Devi Shivani Devi is offline
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Old 08-02-2018, 06:42 AM
Shivani Devi Shivani Devi is offline
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Okay, this forum isn't letting me post anything, which is very weird.
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Old 08-02-2018, 07:17 AM
Shivani Devi Shivani Devi is offline
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Here we go, Shivatar...THIS is what happens when I get wasted, so it's something I have to totally limit:

http://www.spiritualforums.com/vb/sh...d.php?t=120562

Aum Namah Shivaya
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