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Go Back   Spiritual Forums > Spirituality & Beliefs > Love & Relationships -Friends and Family

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  #1  
Old 29-11-2017, 04:58 PM
candyfloss28 candyfloss28 is offline
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I'm a little disheartened.

I have just had to let someone go and she was playing with my feelings. Before we were getting on so so well, she said things to me I could never say to another person, so I'm shocked things have turned out this way. She stopped replying to my texts and and put her mobile phone to line busy. I know she is unwell, she has Fibromyalgia, maybe that does not help but she should still not treat a friend the way has treated me. I told her I had enough and she has lost a true friend. I have deleted her number, so can not call or text her. Is their anything I can do do make her realize she was wrong to treat me the way she did and to get her to contact me? Has anyone here been in similar or same situation?
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  #2  
Old 30-11-2017, 02:16 PM
dream jo dream jo is offline
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sorry hear abot it
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  #3  
Old 30-11-2017, 03:52 PM
wanchain wanchain is offline
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Join Date: Sep 2014
Location: Canada
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Quote:
Originally Posted by candyfloss28
I have just had to let someone go and she was playing with my feelings. Before we were getting on so so well, she said things to me I could never say to another person, so I'm shocked things have turned out this way. She stopped replying to my texts and and put her mobile phone to line busy. I know she is unwell, she has Fibromyalgia, maybe that does not help but she should still not treat a friend the way has treated me. I told her I had enough and she has lost a true friend. I have deleted her number, so can not call or text her. Is their anything I can do do make her realize she was wrong to treat me the way she did and to get her to contact me? Has anyone here been in similar or same situation?

I suppose I have been in similar situations in the past, disconnecting with a friend because they don't give me the attention that they used to. From a higher perspective, it is quite alright, as things/people shift in and out of our lives, and it is in our best interests to allow a smooth flow. Life needs to flow.

Good luck.
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  #4  
Old 01-12-2017, 01:45 PM
Lorelyen Lorelyen is offline
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Join Date: Feb 2014
Location: UK
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Quote:
Originally Posted by candyfloss28
I have just had to let someone go and she was playing with my feelings. Before we were getting on so so well, she said things to me I could never say to another person, so I'm shocked things have turned out this way. She stopped replying to my texts and and put her mobile phone to line busy. I know she is unwell, she has Fibromyalgia, maybe that does not help but she should still not treat a friend the way has treated me. I told her I had enough and she has lost a true friend. I have deleted her number, so can not call or text her. Is their anything I can do do make her realize she was wrong to treat me the way she did and to get her to contact me? Has anyone here been in similar or same situation?

Unfortunately as you've deleted her number(s) you can't call her again otherwise you could have diplomatically worded a text. If she's unwell she might just be in despair - fibromyalgia affects people in different ways. Could be she's suffering the worst of the symptoms. If it's messing up her sleep perhaps she's trying to avoid intrusion.

You're right. It wouldn't have hurt or taken much effort just to contact you briefly even to say best to put it on hold until better times. I wouldn't say that what she's done is "wrong" but it is plain bad manners. You don't really say enough about your friendship to question whether she was a real friend. I suppose it's possible if someone wants to break off a friendship that they may not want to face the other person - a bit cowardly. It really sounds like you're in shock over the break-off.

Difficult to say what to do. How about nothing at the moment. She might just return in which case, well, be calm about a possible reconciliation but you'd obviously be guarded. One can't just forgive someone bad behaviour, that only reinforces it for the future. Bear in mind though her illness, won't you. Don't be too hard on her. Then again, if she doesn't return, you face the the sorrow of letting her go. It means indignation and pain, the most positive aspect of which is you're free and can move on to new friendships. Affirmation that there's light at the end of the tunnel and you won't let it get to you as you don't want this impasse interfering with the future.

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  #5  
Old 02-12-2017, 11:56 AM
candyfloss28 candyfloss28 is offline
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I did find her number sent her texts, not one single reply. I don't understand, we were getting on so so well. She told me things, personal, intimate things I would not even think about telling another woman. She always used to answer my texts and calls. Now when you call her line goes line lalways goes to busy. I know her illness is bad and debilitating but I thought that is when friends are needed the most or am I wrong?
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  #6  
Old 02-12-2017, 02:39 PM
Lorelyen Lorelyen is offline
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No, you aren't wrong.

At least good manners can be expected from a friend. Perhaps she'll come to her senses or get well enough to get in touch eventually. If you are someone she could trust and talk to in confidence there may be a time when she needs to call back. Your indignance is justified.
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  #7  
Old 02-12-2017, 03:59 PM
candyfloss28 candyfloss28 is offline
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Thank you, I was starting to think I was being selfish.
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  #8  
Old 02-12-2017, 11:39 PM
FallingLeaves FallingLeaves is online now
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Join Date: Mar 2014
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the first time i shut someone out, she had jsut hurt me badly and I couldn't cope. Now I've been hurt so many times that I do it at the drop of a hat, whenever I see it coming.
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  #9  
Old 03-12-2017, 05:02 PM
candyfloss28 candyfloss28 is offline
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Do you think a affirmation could bring us back together again?
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  #10  
Old 20-12-2017, 11:48 PM
MetamorphicSun MetamorphicSun is offline
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Join Date: Dec 2017
Posts: 11
 
I think it's best to let this go. If it's a friendship meant to be, then it will be. Trying to force a situation into something it's not will only leave you with many upset feelings. It's more and more common in this day and age to just block people out when we no longer wish to speak to them. It's disrespectful and cowardly, but the worst part is it leaves the other person feeling helpless and powerless. I've found people who block me out are after what little power they can get in life, even if it means shutting people out without so much of a word. I've only had this happen once with someone close. An ex, actually. It was very upsetting, but it turned out he was cheating and had lied about lots of things.

Either way, if someone doesn't have the decency to at least inform me that they no longer wish to talk, then they weren't good for me anyway! I'd rather know from the get-go than get emotionally involved with someone whose true colours didn't come out until I had invested lots of time on them! I also want to add that, even though you might not share intimate details with lots of people, it doesn't mean this person operates in a similar way. She could very well have been talking to quite a few people when feeling down and then picked the person she liked the most, shutting out the rest. This kind of vampiric energy-sucking is, once again, not something you need in your life. Don't send her any more energy. Focus on yourself and how this encounter has made you feel, and then move forward. If she contacts you again, she contacts you again. If she doesn't, she doesn't. There's not really anything you can say to change someone. If they don't want to talk, they don't want to talk.

I'm sorry you're going through this. It's not a nice feeling at all.
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