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Go Back   Spiritual Forums > Spirituality & Beliefs > Love & Relationships -Friends and Family

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  #1  
Old 10-11-2017, 05:58 AM
MOLA MOLA is offline
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Join Date: Jun 2014
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The Feeling of Falling In Love?

Hello.

Its been over a year since I've been in a relationship. After my last relationship, I've decided that I wanted to be alone for a while so I can enjoy my life by myself...and I did. This was the first time in about 6 or so years that I was alone. This was the first time in about 6 or so years that I had only myself to think about. This was the first time in about 6 or so years that I'm independent.

But there was one that I was missing; the feeling of being in love. I miss that feeling of having to sacrifice for another. I miss the feeling of being fueled by happy emotions because of another. I miss the feeling of having to care for another besides myself. I miss the feeling of having someone to hold dear besides myself.

So I started to 'get back in the game'. It's been unsuccessful of course. It seems I've lost my touch on how to connect with someone on an emotional level. There is this 'block' that actively prevents me from connecting to someone on a deeper level. I've tried to get through but so far no avail.

So all this time I've been occupying myself with work. I work 6 days, sometimes 7 days a week to pass time by while I work on becoming a better person myself. Considering the ridiculous amount of hours I make myself work, you'd think that I'd find a relationship with someone as a result from work.

There is a particular co-worker, she's new. There is something about her that sets her apart from the others. She's very beautiful but there is also an 'aura' about her that sets her apart. When I talk to her, her voice just pierces inside of this hard shell and gets me to smile. I rarely smile. Her expressions and the way she talks just softens me up.

What is this feeling? I'm trying to make sure what I'm feeling isn't because of her amazing looks. I'm trying to differentiate if what I feel is the feeling of falling in love; the feeling that I've been without for over a year? Have I forgotten what it feels like to genuinely smile at someone? Why do I suddenly care for this one woman?

Oh well, difference in her age and mine makes us both live in different phases of life.

What do you think? Sorry if the wordings are a little...weird. I don't know how to explain myself right now. I'm just happy at the thought of all this happening.
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  #2  
Old 10-11-2017, 03:41 PM
Clover Clover is offline
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Join Date: Jun 2013
Location: Atlantic Coast
Posts: 9,268
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If you see someone so much at work, I am sure it would only be natural to care and have love for that person. Maybe try being friends with her, no expectations of a relationship? Sometimes the absolute best of relationships are just that; friendships; nothing more.




As a side note, my sister and her husband met at work. Almost a 10 year age difference ( she's older ). Anything is possible : )
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  #3  
Old 11-11-2017, 12:54 AM
Tedmil Tedmil is offline
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Join Date: Feb 2017
Posts: 98
 
You gave no mention of getting to know her personally and developing any kind of connection. I think what you're feeling is infatuation. If you were really feeling loving for this woman then I think your main concern would be trying to develop a relationship with her not the difference in age.
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  #4  
Old 11-11-2017, 09:36 AM
OnceInALifeTime OnceInALifeTime is offline
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Join Date: Jan 2017
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I'm having a similar situation, though I wouldn't call it love. I'm indeed infatuated.

He's much older and we work together ...
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  #5  
Old 11-11-2017, 10:03 AM
shoni7510 shoni7510 is offline
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Being in close proximity with someone can make you feel like you love them. It is better to ask her on a date and take it from there.
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  #6  
Old 11-11-2017, 10:51 AM
FairyCrystal FairyCrystal is offline
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Posts: 2,729
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Sounds like you are looking for someone else to fill in a gap in your life. Someone who can make you smile, make you feel, bring you happiness. Thing is, you first must be able to give that to yourself. You gotta learn to love yourself first and to be able to be by yourself and still be happy and fulfilled.
This is likely the reason why you cannot get to your feelings. You don't love yourself enough to make yourself happy. Because you don't feel happy you drown yourself in work to pass the time.
Work to pass the time? So you expect someone to rescue you from yourself, to fill the gap, make you laugh and love again?
Why can't you love yourself enough to give yourself a break from work? Why do you drown yourself in it? What are you running away from? Probably from feeling what you feel when you do not drown yourself in work. But if you want to get to feeling, to be able to love again, you will have to face the feelings you are running away from.
Once you've worked through those, you can start with doing things that make you happy and make you enjoy life again. By yourself.

If you get involved with someone now, from this place of lack, you will not attract a partner that will make you happy in the long run. It'll be a gap-filler, but that void will still be there, and when she's not around, you will still feel it inside. Chances are you will suck the life out of a partner that way. It'll wear her out. You have to learn to fill it yourself. Then you can find someone who will add to your already happy life as opposed to looking for someone to be a void-filler.

So... stop working to pass time. Learn to enjoy free time. Get hobbies, friends, things to do that make you happy. If you don't know what that is, you will have to find out. Provided you want to find true happiness at some point in life of course.
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  #7  
Old 11-11-2017, 11:28 AM
Inika Inika is offline
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Join Date: May 2015
Posts: 1,316
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tryng to forge emotional connections wont happen for one or two reasons.

you're doing it to dodge lonely feelings. <----non-authentic reason

you're doing it to feel desirable <------non-authentic reasons

so connecting will be a struggle.

connections happen naturally when there is no 'need' fueling it
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  #8  
Old 15-11-2017, 10:06 PM
dream jo dream jo is offline
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Location: sea dream u cud say
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i try 2 avod it i do coz evry man i fall for is ehtr gay or mared thy r
for sum reson i seam 2 fall for gay men i do
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