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Go Back   Spiritual Forums > Spirituality & Beliefs > Past Lives & Reincarnation

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  #1  
Old 05-11-2017, 06:15 PM
BelieveinLove1994 BelieveinLove1994 is offline
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Posts: 8
 
Could a past life be a reason I keep attracting toxic people?

My entire life, I've always become friends with people who I thought were my friends but they ended up hurting me, which has caused me to build a wall around myself. I mean, sure, I have a few really good friends that I've been friends with for years but I've always met them online and we live in different countries. It has been the same way when it comes to romantic relationships, I've always been with people who would tell me I'm not good enough and I've just stayed in toxic relationships and friendships. What do I do if a past life is a reason?
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  #2  
Old 05-11-2017, 09:11 PM
Colorado Colorado is offline
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Join Date: Nov 2015
Posts: 439
 
It wouldn’t matter if it was a past life, or this life....the past, present and future are all simultaneous anyways.

The problem is when it first started. You reacted in a defensive manner, and started operating from a place of fear. It could’ve been from your parents, a close friend, peers, ect. Wherever it started, it has grown and compounded the negative energy in and around you. You said it yourself, you attract them..because the fear and betrayal you live in, is attracting other like-energy.

You can’t live in walls, or fear....amd expect to be surrounded by love. That’s fairytale books and romantic movies. Real Life is much different.

You have to learn to take down the barriers, mistrust, hurt, anger, betrayal, and fear you live in....if you want to have happy, healthy people in your life.

You need to come from a place of acceptance, self love, honesty, trust, and common sense...when you let people in your life.

Like attracts like....

You might need counseling before you can learn how to deal with the negative relationships you have had. A lot of it starts with our relationship with our parents and family....then spreads out from there.

The first time our best friend betrays us, or the first time we are bullied, or rejected, or betrayed by a S.O.....amd you blame yourself. You get angry, and and hurt...and you carry that around until it builds up, and sabotages all your relationships. All that negativity...attracts other negative people, situations and reactions from others.

Some might even say, you are the evil one...because you have so much negative energy....but there is no evil...just ignorance. You need to heal yourself, and you need to find out how to do that, and what works for you. Good luck.

I can’t tell you how to do that, you are going to have to ask yourself what it is you need, amd younalso have to come from a place of nonjudgememt. Nobody is perefect, people are going to hurt you, even if they love you...but you have to determine what is acceptable and what you can forgive, and what you can’t. People who have a lot of friends, seem to have a higher tolerance for forgiveness, and don’t take things personally. They also have a lot more superficial friendships.
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  #3  
Old 06-11-2017, 01:21 AM
calla lily calla lily is offline
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Well said, Colorado. I couldn't have said it any better.
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  #4  
Old 06-11-2017, 03:00 AM
Colorado Colorado is offline
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Join Date: Nov 2015
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Thank you Calla.

I just want to say to Believe, that I’m not a shallow or superficial person. Even on the forums, if I try to help someone...amd I don’t have the answers I need or want to give...I will look for them.

I read an article today, after I replied to your question.

I think it was pretty well written, so I want to share it with you.

How to trust others when you have to trust yourself first.

It starts with our parents, invalidating our feelings and thoughts as young kids.

Example: My teacher was mean today

Parent: Then you need to behave better

Example: Johnny threw a drink at me

Parent: What did you do to him to deserve it

And the examples go on and on

Then it goes into things such as, how we make promises to ourselves...I’m going to eat healthier, drink less alcohol, exercise, sleep more, join church or hobbies, ect.....that we never follow through with.
You have to set boundaries with yourself first, treat yourself right, and follow through with what you promise....even to yourself. Because you have to trust yourself first.


Then we don’t listen to our feelings, and signs when they are right in front of ya.

Example: I knew Suzy was a gossip, but I never thought she’d talk about me

Example: I knew Larry was an alcoholic, but I thought that would change once we were together

Example: I knew Jimmy was a player, but I thought what we had was special

Example: I knew Alice had a lot of issues with other people, but I thought we were friends.

All of these, when we make excuses for others, and look passed the obvious, and then are hurt when we don’t listen to ourselves.

It’s neverngood to jump into any relationship with anyone, without taking the time to get to know them...and gradually trusting them

Relationships end as fast as they start, most of the time.

The last paragraph goes with the first two, trust yourself first. Validate yourself, listen to yourself, take care of yourself, first....then you can start to trust others, after you get to know them and their character. You don’t have to trust anybody that you don’t get good vibes from, amd it’s better to step away sooner...than later if you don’t like drama.

Some people like the drama, and help others create it...but if you are the target most of the time, then you probably aren’t one who can handle being the victim when you don’t reciprocate or wallow that kind of behavior with others. Better to walk away, right away...or keep your distance.
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  #5  
Old 07-11-2017, 12:18 AM
sentient sentient is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by BelieveinLove1994
My entire life, I've always become friends with people who I thought were my friends but they ended up hurting me, which has caused me to build a wall around myself. I mean, sure, I have a few really good friends that I've been friends with for years but I've always met them online and we live in different countries. It has been the same way when it comes to romantic relationships, I've always been with people who would tell me I'm not good enough and I've just stayed in toxic relationships and friendships. What do I do if a past life is a reason?
I also seemed to attract “toxic people” into my life. Why? That was the “sixty-four-thousand-dollar question” I just could not find an answer to.
But thanks to an “Asperger’s Angel” (Bless his Heart!) who came into my life, - who honestly told me he was/is an Aspie enabled me to learn about the Asperger’s pattern. (But lots of people do not know they are Aspies).

Asperger’s and Narcissists are not the same, yet in both the normal developmental stages didn’t happen and emotionally they are stuck like being 3 year olds.

An orphan Annie/Andy Asperger’s wants you to adopt them, to become their parent.
A Narcissist wants you to act a make-belief-role in order to enable their fantasy world.
But it is a bit what Dr. Phil says:
“If you have to give up who you are in order to be half of a couple – the price is too high”.

As much as I absolutely love Aspie company, -their child-like delightful persona with very high IQ (which elevates mine) and their occasional Edgar Cayce type of deep insights, as an “empath” the best thing I can do, is to detach myself emotionally and support them to live independent (of me) lives.
As for Narcissists, well, there is nothing I can do.
They live a “realm” of their fake self-reality, which usually is something nobody can “cure” – not in this life. Best just to leave them to it.

Using Aspies and Narcissists here as an example, I would suggests, that the “toxic people” entering into your life all have the same or similar patterns.
Unravel their pattern and you can forgive them and then you will also know what to do and you will also understand why you initially gave them the kind of attention you did.


I also hate noise. Well what do you know? “What you resist – persists”.
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  #6  
Old 09-11-2017, 01:26 PM
Soul Renew Soul Renew is offline
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Join Date: Oct 2017
Posts: 52
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Colorado
It wouldn’t matter if it was a past life, or this life....the past, present and future are all simultaneous anyways.

The problem is when it first started. You reacted in a defensive manner, and started operating from a place of fear. It could’ve been from your parents, a close friend, peers, ect. Wherever it started, it has grown and compounded the negative energy in and around you. You said it yourself, you attract them..because the fear and betrayal you live in, is attracting other like-energy.

You can’t live in walls, or fear....amd expect to be surrounded by love. That’s fairytale books and romantic movies. Real Life is much different.

You have to learn to take down the barriers, mistrust, hurt, anger, betrayal, and fear you live in....if you want to have happy, healthy people in your life.

You need to come from a place of acceptance, self love, honesty, trust, and common sense...when you let people in your life.

Like attracts like....

You might need counseling before you can learn how to deal with the negative relationships you have had. A lot of it starts with our relationship with our parents and family....then spreads out from there.

The first time our best friend betrays us, or the first time we are bullied, or rejected, or betrayed by a S.O.....amd you blame yourself. You get angry, and and hurt...and you carry that around until it builds up, and sabotages all your relationships. All that negativity...attracts other negative people, situations and reactions from others.

Some might even say, you are the evil one...because you have so much negative energy....but there is no evil...just ignorance. You need to heal yourself, and you need to find out how to do that, and what works for you. Good luck.

I can’t tell you how to do that, you are going to have to ask yourself what it is you need, amd younalso have to come from a place of nonjudgememt. Nobody is perefect, people are going to hurt you, even if they love you...but you have to determine what is acceptable and what you can forgive, and what you can’t. People who have a lot of friends, seem to have a higher tolerance for forgiveness, and don’t take things personally. They also have a lot more superficial friendships.

Wow, colorado you are very wise; I read both of your posts in this thread. I've learned a lot from you, everything really resonated!

For me, I think it definitely was the feelings and beliefs from my past life that has attracted wrong in my life.
I'm currently trying to take care of that and tell myself, "You are not made less by how people treat you. You've always been love and light. You deserve better."

I found out recently my pattern of being attracted to men who are not on good terms with their lovers. When I come into their life, I just want to love them and comfort them, and I give them something to be happy about, but it's always not reciprocal.
Either I'm not enough for them or I'm just being used to make themselves better.

I can understand why when thinking of my past life. A mother believing I'm not good enough, criticising me constantly, and treating me like I'm someone made to be used and not cherished. Then, having a husband cheat on me with my best friend!

I'm attracted to men whose relationship with their lovers are rocky because I see my pain in them.

I need to heal my own pain.
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