Think I might have a cursh, can you help me understand where we are standing?
There is a woman at my work I think I have a crush on, her name is K.. K. works in a different team doing somewhat similar work. We work at a refugee center. Our teams work next to eachother but we dine in communion. Eating together serves as an informal intervision moment in which we can relativate the powerlessness and frustrations of our work at the refugee center. Because we are a small group amongst a big population we are forced to work together closely… which brings conflicts at times.
It seems that K. and I have the same coping mechanisms for dealing with the, at times tragic, situations: jokes about poop and sex (lol). Despite making jokes we also seem to share the same values when it comes to work ethics and sincerity…like taking the time to clean the kitchen, running to incidents, etc.
I have difficulty understanding K., her potential attraction to me and our professional relationship. K. seems ‘’hard’’ yet emotionally open to me…she is unlike most other woman in her directness and mental strength… and her beautiful compassionate/good willed nature she subtly exposes at times. She can be expressive in her communication towards others yet..distant or conscientious around me. Maybe because we laughed at the same crazy sex jokes before.. or that I once heard her say she is attracted to Persian men (I am Persian).
K. has been witnessing me and I guess my acts of courage in sticking up for team members, being mentally strong and my charisma in pulling others through. I tend to excel in stresfull situations. The other day there was a lot of tension in the cafeteria, because of lay outs. K. carefully made a joke and I took it to another level. It felt natural to stick up for each other.. because we think alike?. Two days agoo we had a serious meeting about organizing a Christmas event. I joked about going in costume as the princess of Frozen. Also K. immediately added that she then could go as the prince. Luckily, it was well received.
Today, K. and her co-worker, showed me were to find a board of chess in a room at the former prisoncomplex. As we entered the dark room, she accidently poked my back, then she hit my shoulder before her colleague found the light switch .. I said are you stabbing me in the back. This was a bit of an ironic comment because (A) there is tension between colleagues and (B) there have been actual stabbings there. She didn’t respond and seemed more conscientious/distant then before.
Can you help me understand her, the bases of our interactions and how I can proceed?
“Inside you there’s an artist you don’t know about… say yes quickly, if you know, if you’ve known it from before the beginning of the universe.”