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Go Back   Spiritual Forums > Spirituality & Beliefs > Past Lives & Reincarnation

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  #1  
Old 03-11-2017, 07:55 PM
Soul Renew Soul Renew is offline
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Join Date: Oct 2017
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Pain from Past Life?

This year I've had a few dreams with the same theme-
A female bothering me with no regards to my emotions.

~First dream~
I was with my bestie at a food court.
I was wearing a skirt but she wanted to lift my skirt to clean my underwear or something (dreams are weird lol).
I pushed her away and said, "No!" There were people everywhere, I don't want them to see my skirt!
She kept trying to grab at my skirt and I pulled away each time until finally,
she got so infuriated with me that she yelled at me and stormed off while everyone looked at me.

~Second Dream~
My older sister was sitting on top of me while I struggled to breathe and there kids sitting in a circle around us. No one bothered to care...

Third Dream
I was in a bathroom, trying to use the toilet when suddenly a lady barges in with knee high socks in her hands.
She grabbed me and sat me on a bathtub, pulling off my pants and shoes and forcing the sock on my leg.
I struggled and tried to stop her but she didn't care, so I eventually just gave in.

In another dream, it didn't involve a female bothering me, but I thought it was important.
I was inside a vertical cylinder tank filled with water. I couldn't move and I saw a meter that displayed my health.
There was 100-0 in white, and it showed I was steadily draining, past 0, into a dangerous red.
After that, the top part of the tank disappeared and I was in the ocean.
Staring lifelessly ahead of me, I saw a figure come speeding towards me and it was a shark!
It opened its mouth and gnawed right through me viscously!
My body was frozen, there was no indication of pain, but inside me, I heard myself cry and scream frantically in pain!
The shark was hurting my soul!
Then suddenly I was pulled out of the tank and onto dry floor.
A girl, maybe a teen, saved me!
In my dream it said it was my sister, but she looked nothing like my sisters (she wasn't Asian xP).

In this life, I have cried in front of my mom and brother, even in public, and no one offered sympathy.
I felt no one cared for me.
I felt no one could understand my pain, no one soothed me with comforting words and hugs... It's like, who cares if you cry?...

Maybe some woman in past life made me feel that my feelings shouldn't be cared for and it carried to this life?

Recently, I developed a strong crush towards a guy I barely know and I get major reactions towards him that he doesn't know about.
I keep crying that he loves someone else, but right now he has been separated from his girlfriend, whom he had a child with, for long time now...

I don't understand why I have such intense feelings towards him!
When I think I him, I think how I want to love him and be with him...
Then suddenly I feel I must run away as fast as possible!

Well, a few days ago, I suddenly remembered a dream I had a long time ago... In it, I was with someone I loved, then I went to sleep on a couch. When I was sleeping, my best friend came into the room and the two of them embraced each other romantically and I woke from the couch crying in heartbreak, "You knew I loved him!"
I woke up after that.

One of greatest wishes is to find my true love, so to be cheated on, especially by my best friend whom I loved like a sister, who knows almost everything about me, was so heartbreaking!!!!

Well, when I remembered that dream, I started crying heavily, imagining my crush with my bestie.
Then suddenly something incredible happened, I can't describe it well, but it felt like I opened up something from deep in my heart.
I cried so much saying, "You're my best friend! Why would you do this to me?" I felt so much pain...and yet healing at the same time.

I think in a past life, I was betrayed by the two people whom I was so vulnerable with, the two I trusted my life with. I feel so strongly about this that I feel like my heart is broken as if it actually happened.

Well, they have worked together and they both seem to be on the same wavelength than I and him... But she has a boyfriend and really loves him and she doesn't work with my crush anymore.
But if anything should happen in the future... Then I must not let my feelings for my crush continue further.
A good relationship cannot develop like this...
I think they would be better together actually...

But anyways, a long time ago, in 2011, I fell in love with someone who was already married...But I felt like I knew him...
I never tried anything because he was married, but oh it was heartbreaking I couldn't be with him... I loved him so much... I didn't get over him for many 2 years.
But it was good nothing happened. He had wife and kids and honestly, I felt I've outgrown him. He was very critical, naggy, and wouldn't "see underneath the surface." He wanted me to be more than I could be. I haven't seen him ever since.

So connecting some dots, and not sure if I'm right, but I would say that in a past life, I had an overly controlling mother who had no regards to my feelings.
So as I grew up, I wanted men to love me to fill that void. Unfortunately, I attracted men who treated me like my mother.
They wanted me to fulfill their own desires without regards to my own feelings or wishes. (in real life, I have indeed attracted men like these).
I think how my past life mother treated me skewed my perception of love. I guess I believe that love is pain, restriction, and being unequal to your man... Then, one day I find some man, whom I think I married, and he cheated on me with my best friend. The married guy I mentioned earlier was the man from dream. Well, I also believed that I was so crushed from being cheated on that I hurt others. I wanted them to feel my pain. To know what it's like to have their love taken from them...

For a long time, I had felt guilty or ashamed of myself, and I never knew why.
But yesterday when I cried thinking I had actually hurt people because of my own hurt, I felt pain AND healing. So it must have happened in past life right?

So in this life, I have been attracted to married or taken men and felt an allure to seduce them, but I never do because it's wrong. I can feel deep inside me some wish to harm others, but it doesn't feel like me, it feels like from my past life. I've also had many dreams of being chased by a monster or a ghost that intended me harm.

This me now, wants to do good, I believe that everybody is fighting a hard battle, so we must be kind. I believe in true love and God. The dark side of me needs healing, and that's what I'm trying to do...

Since I'm going through the dark night of the soul, I have been experiencing lots of intense fears and feelings, and I guess even my past life's feelings. I am being healed so I can move forward, out of the darkness that I have been living in, and into the light with Christ.

I believe in God, and have been asking for help through what i'm going through, and I have felt much healing, especially when I told God I surrender to Him and want to follow his path and not my own, since that would only send me int he same cycle of heartbreak. I pray to God to free me from this, but when you're in the dark for so long, the light hurts so much... He is patiently helping me adjust to the light so that i may live a new life where He knows true happiness and love lies...
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Old 04-11-2017, 01:51 AM
Colorado Colorado is offline
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Join Date: Nov 2015
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Good post. I think we all can relate to what you just said. I just try to remember, without judgment, when things get dark for me....that it’s my way of higher learning.

Kind of like, when my uncle threw me into the deep end of an underground swimming pool when I couldn’t swim. I had to learn to swim at that moment. Why did he do that to a 5 yr old?

Because his wife babysat me, as a favor, while my parents worked....she had 3 small children of her own to care for at the same time. Every day, while she was busy with the babies, I would sneak into the pool, and I would get into trouble because I didn’t know how to swim....they just knew I was going to drown...there were no adults around.

It was every single day, like clockwork, they tried to ground me in the house, spank me, stood me in the corner, told on me to my parents, but as soon as my aunt was cooking, or with the babies, I slipped out and into the pool...I loved water so much, that I was not going to worry about the consequences until I was done playing in the pool, nothing stopped me, amd neither were they going to.

I kept getting in, and getting lucky....staying at the shallow end, or slipping my hands, toys and feet into the deep end...my uncle had enough, he knew I wasn’t going to stay away from the water(this was in the 80s) and he threw me in, and said....swim, damn it! You are going to learn to swim! When he saw me swim in the deep end for the first time, struggling, panicking, crying and terrified....he knew then, I wasn’t going to drown. I had learned the hard way, how to swim, how to survive, right then and there...crying and screaming at him for half an hour after.

That’s kind of how life is...

Needless to say, I didn’t get into the pool after that.

I did become an avid swimmer years later, and I learned to swim in the deep end like a pro.
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  #3  
Old 07-11-2017, 04:44 PM
Soul Renew Soul Renew is offline
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Join Date: Oct 2017
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Colorado
Good post. I think we all can relate to what you just said. I just try to remember, without judgment, when things get dark for me....that itís my way of higher learning.

Kind of like, when my uncle threw me into the deep end of an underground swimming pool when I couldnít swim. I had to learn to swim at that moment. Why did he do that to a 5 yr old?

Because his wife babysat me, as a favor, while my parents worked....she had 3 small children of her own to care for at the same time. Every day, while she was busy with the babies, I would sneak into the pool, and I would get into trouble because I didnít know how to swim....they just knew I was going to drown...there were no adults around.

It was every single day, like clockwork, they tried to ground me in the house, spank me, stood me in the corner, told on me to my parents, but as soon as my aunt was cooking, or with the babies, I slipped out and into the pool...I loved water so much, that I was not going to worry about the consequences until I was done playing in the pool, nothing stopped me, amd neither were they going to.

I kept getting in, and getting lucky....staying at the shallow end, or slipping my hands, toys and feet into the deep end...my uncle had enough, he knew I wasnít going to stay away from the water(this was in the 80s) and he threw me in, and said....swim, damn it! You are going to learn to swim! When he saw me swim in the deep end for the first time, struggling, panicking, crying and terrified....he knew then, I wasnít going to drown. I had learned the hard way, how to swim, how to survive, right then and there...crying and screaming at him for half an hour after.

Thatís kind of how life is...

Needless to say, I didnít get into the pool after that.

I did become an avid swimmer years later, and I learned to swim in the deep end like a pro.

Thanks for the share colorado.
I'm sorry that that happened to you. That seemed so upsetting.
But I'm glad to hear that you didn't allow that experience to completely change your thinking of water.
You loved water, even though you didn't know how to swim, so your uncle showed you the hard way, the consequence of not knowing how to swim.

Sometimes going through the hard way is how we learn, it's harsh how life we can be like that sometimes.

And sometimes, for me, I am put into a cycle of heartache because I have not learned to love myself.
I took what i learned from my past life mother and believed that love was truly heartbreak for me.
But I need to learn to swim on my own, I can have good relationships, I just have to understand, learn, and break free of this cycle.

If I want to swim, I need to learn how to swim, but i'm going to do it my way.
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