Spiritual Forums

Home


Donate!


Articles


CHAT!


Shop


 
Welcome to Spiritual Forums!.

We created this community for people from all backgrounds to discuss Spiritual, Paranormal, Metaphysical, Philosophical, Supernatural, and Esoteric subjects. From Astral Projection to Zen, all topics are welcome. We hope you enjoy your visits.

You are currently viewing our boards as a guest, which gives you limited access to most discussions and articles. By joining our free community you will be able to post messages, communicate privately with other members (PM), respond to polls, upload your own photos, and gain access to our Chat Rooms, Registration is fast, simple, and free, so please, join our community today! !

If you have any problems with the registration process or your account login, check our FAQs before contacting support. Please read our forum rules, since they are enforced by our volunteer staff. This will help you avoid any infractions and issues.

Go Back   Spiritual Forums > Spirituality & Beliefs > Love & Relationships -Friends and Family

Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
  #1  
Old 27-10-2017, 08:59 PM
olhosdeamendoa olhosdeamendoa is offline
Knower
Join Date: Jan 2016
Posts: 154
 
On-off friendship for many years, what is this?

I have this friend of mine who I have met during college.

After several years of friendship we got into an argument and stopped talking for a few years. When we reconnected we were both married, with babies and having troubles in your marriages.

We ended up having another argument and spent another few years without talking.

So we reconnected again 2 years ago, and found out we both got divorced, that our lives changed completely and we have been through major spiritual awakenings and journey.

Our friendship though continued to have arguments and we seemed to clash on many things, and I noticed that our issues were mainly from the ego.

She cannot stand that I give her my opinion about something that she doesn't agree with and would be very bitter and agressive in her responses. In the past I would come from my ego too, but over the past year I stopped doing that and was stepping away from confrontations.

Over the last summer I have reconnected with my twin flame after 13 years without seeing each other and we are very happy now, although we still live in different countries at the moment.

It seems that since I've reconnected with him my life has been aligning and changing drastically at all levels. It's like I want to completely live from my heart and not from ego anymore.

So, over a week ago I was having a conversation with her on whatsapp where she was saying she is going to be made redundant from her job and I told her that it can be a good opportunity for her to start her Astrology business that she always wanted.

She was really angry with me saying that, saying that she is not ready, that she needs another course of this and that, etc, and that she needs to find another regular job. I told her that she can search for another job, but that she shouldn't close the doors to some "spiritual" job to appear, because we never know, right!? And I told her that she should trust more her intuition and gifts she already has, and not rely so much on external courses and stuff. She was VERY angry with me saying this, and said that she knows better than me, that I don't live in the real world, and etc. I didn't respond anything else and let it go.


A few days later, also on whatsapp (we also live distant from each other), I told her that I was a bit upset that my ex let our daughter go to bed without dinner after she did a massive tantrum at the supermarket over some toys, a tantrum that lasted all the way home in the car.

She was very shocked by this and told me to go and pick up my daughter next morning from his house. I told her that I wasn't going to do that since I spoke on the phone with both of them and she was very happy there. I also had a conversation with my ex and he admitted it wasn't nice what he did, but that he was exhausted from the tantrum, which I totally understand.

So, she was pis** that I ended up talking things through with my ex and not taking my daughter away from him and she said that she was nearly about to report him to child protection services!

Now I was shocked by this, because it's none of her business and I do not agree with that. He is a good father and our daughter loves him! I understood that she was bitter with me that I didn't do what she say. She even said that I take things very lightly concerning my daughter and that if that happens again, she will report him!

Believe me, I do NOT take anything lightly concerning my daughter, I was upset with my ex but that doesn't mean I go and report him and take our daughter away from him because she went to bed once without eating dinner (it was a one-off thing that happened). That is completely over the top and even ridiculous. But she saying that I take things lightly about my daughter can be considered quite offensive to me as a mother.

Ok so this time it was too much for me. I could literally feel negative dark energy from her (or her ego) and decided enough is enough. She was completely crossing my boundaries and wanting to step over me.

I told her that, that she was crossing my boundaries and disrespecting me and that situation is none of her business and I do not tolerate it.

She responded that she doesn't give a s*** to what I think and that her word is THE last word.

So I let her have it and didn't respond anything else since. We haven't talked in a week and I have no intentions of talking. Why talk to or have a friend that says they don't give a s*** to what you think!?

I just feel that we are not a vibrational match anymore, so that is why this friendship is over.

I was just wondering, does this happens often for people and friendships? Having someone that you clash over the years?

What I feel is that she was like a mirror to me of many things I needed to address in myself and work in myself (mainly from ego) and that now I moved on and what she is sending my way I don't relate to anymore, I feel they are issues I have dealt with and moved on, if that makes any sense.

I don't want to sound arrogant here, or that she is awful and I am not, is just that I feel we are in different frequencies now, and different paths.

Thank you for reading! Any insight or advice you can give to me?
Reply With Quote
  #2  
Old 28-10-2017, 08:27 AM
Lorelyen Lorelyen is offline
Master
Join Date: Feb 2014
Location: UK
Posts: 6,010
 
Insight? Not really - you've sussed it out for yourself. Put away the anger and keep out of this person's way - she sounds a right despot!

It wouldn't happen in any friendship of mine simply because I wouldn't let it get that far. It's a serious mismatch between two Selves with one of them completely unwilling to compromise.

Well, you're right ego comes into it but ego is your public front. It's malleable. It adapts to the situation you're in as best as it can. Sometimes that "best" is less than optimal but you have to defend your Self, your can't just become a doormat, surrendering when you basically don't approve of something. You have to stand up for what you believe in / are.

You'll never get rid of ego (in spite of what the new ageists claim here) as it's your persona, your identity, the thing that distinguishes you from everyone and everything else. (It is possible and necessary to abandon it in advanced stages of spirituality - when you "climb" beyond Self. But if you have any self-awareness in situ your ego is at work. By any and every definition.)

This seems all about mismatching and perhaps (you don't tell us much of your story here) unwillingness to compromise. If arguments are frequent you have to ask yourself in all honesty, is this really the relationship / interaction for you.

As I see it anyway.

Last edited by Lorelyen : 28-10-2017 at 09:33 AM.
Reply With Quote
  #3  
Old 28-10-2017, 09:49 AM
olhosdeamendoa olhosdeamendoa is offline
Knower
Join Date: Jan 2016
Posts: 154
 
Quote:
Originally Posted by Lorelyen
Insight? Not really - you've sussed it out for yourself. Put away the anger and keep out of this person's way - she sounds a right despot!

It wouldn't happen in any friendship of mine simply because I wouldn't let it get that far. It's a serious mismatch between two Selves with one of them completely unwilling to compromise.

Well, you're right ego comes into it but ego is your public front. It's malleable. It adapts to the situation you're in as best as it can. Sometimes that "best" is less than optimal but you have to defend your Self, your can't just become a doormat, surrendering when you basically don't approve of something. You have to stand up for what you believe in / are.

You'll never get rid of ego (in spite of what the new ageists claim here) as it's your persona, your identity, the thing that distinguishes you from everyone and everything else. (It is possible and necessary to abandon it in advanced stages of spirituality - when you "climb" beyond Self. But if you have any self-awareness in situ your ego is at work. By any and every definition.)

This seems all about mismatching and perhaps (you don't tell us much of your story here) unwillingness to compromise. If arguments are frequent you have to ask yourself in all honesty, is this really the relationship / interaction for you.

As I see it anyway.

Thank you. I am not angry with her or the situation, I am a bit sad yes.

But this type of situation happened before many times with her (not as serious as this last one), so I believe it was kinda preparing me to let go for good. So, although I am sad, I am also quite well on not talking to her anymore.

I agree we do not have to or need to get rid of ego. We need ego to survive in this 3D world. But letting the ego rule in a friendship it only brings trouble (as it did).

Yes I did let it go that far, simply because for a long time I was seeing the friendship as more important than the ego and the issues. But it comes to a point where it is not about how much is the friendship important, but how much your well-being and self-respect are important.

She and this mismatch were part of a specific relationship pattern I used to have in the past with several people, and I am not in that vibration anymore, so I guess no surprise this happened.
Reply With Quote
Reply


Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

vB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Forum Jump


All times are GMT. The time now is 11:58 AM.


Powered by vBulletin
Copyright ©2000 - 2017, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
(c) Spiritual Forums