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Go Back   Spiritual Forums > Spirituality & Beliefs > Soulmates & Twin Flames

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  #11  
Old 28-09-2017, 02:18 AM
Impulsv Impulsv is offline
Master
Join Date: Jan 2013
Posts: 2,370
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If it's a tf
Not questioning urs
But if it's u tf
Imagine his suffering trapping himself with another.
I'm learning to have compassion about that
I too was once in a loveless marriage
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  #12  
Old 29-09-2017, 03:04 AM
happyhaunts03 happyhaunts03 is offline
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Join Date: Aug 2017
Posts: 39
 
I was the one that married first. My TF is now married, too. Now is just not our time. It makes the spiritual connection a little weird sometimes, but we generally feel genuinely happy for one another when we know the other is getting love from their chosen person. There's some jealousy on my TF's part because I may have ended up with someone we both knew long ago, but overall, it's something we've both learned to cope with. I will say from being the first to marry though that a TF connection is different than being married. And you don't have to lose the connection, you just have to realize the connection doesn't mean anything will happen in the 3d world. I've learned some lessons in my karmic relationship...I think I still have more to learn as does my TF. So, we'll wait...we have eternity.
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  #13  
Old 04-10-2017, 09:42 AM
SierraNevadaStar SierraNevadaStar is offline
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Location: I'm a homesick Californian from Lake Tahoe/Truckee, living in England.
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Thanks everyone! You've said some beautiful and kind things and I appreciate that.

It's been two-and-a-half weeks since my last post and I still don't know if it's true. I have talked to a few mutuals and they say it likely isn't and that his 'partner' (I am using the term loosely as I don't exactly know 'what' she is) is just acting in her usual lying way (she's made similar claims before and then some). I have never seen ANYONE spread lies as she does. What's more - she seems to steal ideas and even aspects of myself as well as aspects of him. Sometimes, I wonder if she is even what they call a 'false twin' (if those exist). I do know one thing: she is a psychic vampire (and I know those do exist!).

My twin has seemingly aged 10 years in the past three (since he met her), looks terribly tired, gaunt and tense a lot of the time. The once beautiful gleam in his eyes is just not there anymore and his smile is also subdued. His career is not what it was. He seems apathetic and depressed. I know he drinks and, again, drug use (more than pot) is a high possibility. He just seems 'different.'

He and I have never been 'together-together' (as in able to have an ongoing physical union). Now I am actually married, but have been separated for quite a while.

My twin just moved countries. This further makes me question his relationship with this person since she is newly well-settled in a house of her own back in the original country (though he still has work commitments there). I am not communicating with him these days (not in this dimension anyway, but there is a frequent - and often lovely- rapport between us beyond it), but am hoping he is taking some space away from her and all the problems she has caused in his life. He sounds pleased with his new surroundings and mentioned how he loves all the sun and light there to a mutual friend of ours. He's always been a very shining, dynamic person who loves warmth so I'm not surprised he's chosen the place he has. He's been with a very dark person and in a bad place for a long time now. Frankly, I don't think he's out of it and away from her just yet (this woman is a leech who just won't let go!). I really don't know what is going to happen and am trying to deal with, and accept, a lot of uncertainty (this is something I struggle with and am learning to master). I wish to surrender completely and on some days it feels like I am on the threshold of doing so - while on others, not so much.

Also, no, I don't love myself enough and I am striving to day-by-day. I think I am getting there. It's a slow-going process. On some days, it's a steep, uphill battle which results in tears. Still, I know it will be worth it in the end.

I know our connection 'in here' (*points to heart center*) is what really matters. I'd love it if we could stay unified in this realm, but I wouldn't trade what we have beyond it for a lesser, more karmic physical union - ever.

We've both been through a lot in our lives and we have been through some unbelievably rough times. I know all that has happened to further our growth, but I know it has also happened because we both harbor some truly self-destructive qualities.

I know, 100%, he is my twin. It's a lovely, tranquil, breathtaking 'knowing and it never hasn't been. The journals I keep/have kept retain the full story (which goes all the way back to my childhood when I caught glimpses of his identity before he showed up in my life during my mid-30s).

I've decided to try to keep a distance from what is going on in his life in the 'here-and-now' because there is just no clarity to be achieved this way. Furthermore, I feel our connection suffers as a result of it. I feel I suffer as a result of it and so then, he surely does too. I'm seeing it as a 'retreat in my/his/our best interest.' I don't talk to our mutual friends often and I won't be for some time. When/if I do and find out he has married her, then - well, it is as everyone here said above this post: he has to go through that to grow. He's been a bachelor his whole life and I would be pleased for him if he settled down with a truly good human being. It would still hurt, yes, but at least she would be kind and not a narcissist out to use him for her own gain. I've worried about him for years because of this, because of her, and I know others have to. I just want him to be...free, in good health, at peace and happy...

It's a truly amazing and beautiful story he and I have. I feel very fortunate in that respect, irregardless of what is to come and what isnt. I love him in a way that I could only express through the length of a novel I penned. I'd love the 'ideal' happy ending here, but that is not surprising for a twin soul - or anyone else for that matter.

Thanks again to clueless, Inika, Aldous, gypsymystique, ssdm1, felicity, MissTetley, BlueCat, Impulsv and happyhaunts03 (phew!) for taking the time to respond.
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  #14  
Old 04-10-2017, 01:15 PM
ssdm1 ssdm1 is offline
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Join Date: Apr 2016
Posts: 523
 
Quote:
Originally Posted by SierraNevadaStar
Thanks everyone! You've said some beautiful and kind things and I appreciate that.

It's been two-and-a-half weeks since my last post and I still don't know if it's true. I have talked to a few mutuals and they say it likely isn't and that his 'partner' (I am using the term loosely as I don't exactly know 'what' she is) is just acting in her usual lying way (she's made similar claims before and then some). I have never seen ANYONE spread lies as she does. What's more - she seems to steal ideas and even aspects of myself as well as aspects of him. Sometimes, I wonder if she is even what they call a 'false twin' (if those exist). I do know one thing: she is a psychic vampire (and I know those do exist!).

My twin has seemingly aged 10 years in the past three (since he met her), looks terribly tired, gaunt and tense a lot of the time. The once beautiful gleam in his eyes is just not there anymore and his smile is also subdued. His career is not what it was. He seems apathetic and depressed. I know he drinks and, again, drug use (more than pot) is a high possibility. He just seems 'different.'

He and I have never been 'together-together' (as in able to have an ongoing physical union). Now I am actually married, but have been separated for quite a while.

My twin just moved countries. This further makes me question his relationship with this person since she is newly well-settled in a house of her own back in the original country (though he still has work commitments there). I am not communicating with him these days (not in this dimension anyway, but there is a frequent - and often lovely- rapport between us beyond it), but am hoping he is taking some space away from her and all the problems she has caused in his life. He sounds pleased with his new surroundings and mentioned how he loves all the sun and light there to a mutual friend of ours. He's always been a very shining, dynamic person who loves warmth so I'm not surprised he's chosen the place he has. He's been with a very dark person and in a bad place for a long time now. Frankly, I don't think he's out of it and away from her just yet (this woman is a leech who just won't let go!). I really don't know what is going to happen and am trying to deal with, and accept, a lot of uncertainty (this is something I struggle with and am learning to master). I wish to surrender completely and on some days it feels like I am on the threshold of doing so - while on others, not so much.

Also, no, I don't love myself enough and I am striving to day-by-day. I think I am getting there. It's a slow-going process. On some days, it's a steep, uphill battle which results in tears. Still, I know it will be worth it in the end.

I know our connection 'in here' (*points to heart center*) is what really matters. I'd love it if we could stay unified in this realm, but I wouldn't trade what we have beyond it for a lesser, more karmic physical union - ever.

We've both been through a lot in our lives and we have been through some unbelievably rough times. I know all that has happened to further our growth, but I know it has also happened because we both harbor some truly self-destructive qualities.

I know, 100%, he is my twin. It's a lovely, tranquil, breathtaking 'knowing and it never hasn't been. The journals I keep/have kept retain the full story (which goes all the way back to my childhood when I caught glimpses of his identity before he showed up in my life during my mid-30s).

I've decided to try to keep a distance from what is going on in his life in the 'here-and-now' because there is just no clarity to be achieved this way. Furthermore, I feel our connection suffers as a result of it. I feel I suffer as a result of it and so then, he surely does too. I'm seeing it as a 'retreat in my/his/our best interest.' I don't talk to our mutual friends often and I won't be for some time. When/if I do and find out he has married her, then - well, it is as everyone here said above this post: he has to go through that to grow. He's been a bachelor his whole life and I would be pleased for him if he settled down with a truly good human being. It would still hurt, yes, but at least she would be kind and not a narcissist out to use him for her own gain. I've worried about him for years because of this, because of her, and I know others have to. I just want him to be...free, in good health, at peace and happy...

It's a truly amazing and beautiful story he and I have. I feel very fortunate in that respect, irregardless of what is to come and what isnt. I love him in a way that I could only express through the length of a novel I penned. I'd love the 'ideal' happy ending here, but that is not surprising for a twin soul - or anyone else for that matter.

Thanks again to clueless, Inika, Aldous, gypsymystique, ssdm1, felicity, MissTetley, BlueCat, Impulsv and happyhaunts03 (phew!) for taking the time to respond.

What you've said here is beautiful and I'm glad for your growth into yourself. Reading this has helped me as well. I found out a few weeks ago my tf has been in a serious relationship with a woman and was not telling me. If he referred to her it was as a "friend." Like you in the past weeks, I've been going within, back to myself, seeing the good in myself and the good in me others see, and cutting back contact with him. I've known him 30 years, 20 in no contact. I'm 100% sure we are twin flames as well, but it's his turn now to show me what he says is true and for him to reach out to me. He and I are in physical contact, so holding back is difficult for me, but necessary.

Hugs to you.
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  #15  
Old 04-10-2017, 04:22 PM
BlueCat BlueCat is offline
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Join Date: Jul 2015
Posts: 1,011
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Quote:
Originally Posted by SierraNevadaStar
Thanks everyone! You've said some beautiful and kind things and I appreciate that.

It's been two-and-a-half weeks since my last post and I still don't know if it's true. I have talked to a few mutuals and they say it likely isn't and that his 'partner' (I am using the term loosely as I don't exactly know 'what' she is) is just acting in her usual lying way (she's made similar claims before and then some). I have never seen ANYONE spread lies as she does. What's more - she seems to steal ideas and even aspects of myself as well as aspects of him. Sometimes, I wonder if she is even what they call a 'false twin' (if those exist). I do know one thing: she is a psychic vampire (and I know those do exist!).

You are welcome !
This is what happened to me with the person i talked about before, it seems these so called emotional/psychic vampires create a false self and imitate others in order to attract like a moth to a light, i remember when this person tried to imitate me and also him, she is also projecting this "false twin" thing (well i don't believe in false twins, more on karmic relationships just to say some people try to deceive true twins imitating a "twin flame").
Unfortunately we want the best for our TF instead this kind of people, but well...at least probably this would be useful to make them learn something? I see so many times this dynamic between TFs where one of them is into a not so good relationship (or both).
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  #16  
Old 05-10-2017, 01:47 PM
SierraNevadaStar SierraNevadaStar is offline
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Join Date: Aug 2017
Location: I'm a homesick Californian from Lake Tahoe/Truckee, living in England.
Posts: 62
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Thanks Blue Cat and ssdm1 for your kind words and for reading my (lengthy) post. I'm sorry you've had your own troubles in a twin flame union. I'm around (here and there) if you ever wish to discuss it at all via PMs or on the forum.

It isn't a good morning for me and I'll admit I've been tearful.

It doesn't help that, in a highly vivid and beautiful dream had by me last year, I'd been told by a guide: "You musn't forget him. You must never forget him. You are his teacher. He needs your help. Once he gets the hang of things, they will become second nature to him." Before this, she'd told me other things - about my potential in this life, my 'voice,' and that my power chakra is the throat chakra. But maybe I want to forget him as the light darkens because it has, and he has. I know I have too. I don't want to hurt like this - not anymore and it is not conducive to loving myself (i.e., being in the dark like this). I've yet to detach from all this to a point where I feel no pain.

I'm still floored by how much this woman has 'ripped me off'. It is like a 'slap in the face'. What was once so beautiful and special, has been stolen, plagiarized from me. I am angry, indeed, I am because it feels like a grave injustice has been inflicted upon me. This anger comes in waves and then ebbs day-in, day-out. I'm trying not to blame the Universe because where will that get me?! I have my own failings in this situation so I am also angry with myself. I suppose I am disappointed in my twin flame (I only feel anger toward him on rare occasions). He does not seem to be standing up for himself, acting like the strong and independent spirit I know he truly is.

I feel my twin flame is resigned to this situation, to this person. He truly acts like her puppet so a marriage would not surprise me at this stage. There just seems to be no chemistry between them - they seem awkward somehow. But who am I to say what goes on between two people? I can only speak as an observer and from things I've been told and things I've 'sensed.'

Sometimes (only out of desperation and fear of unrelentiong loneliness), I contemplate working on my relationship with my husband (who, again, I'm separated from), but I know that road has ended for me. I moved on years ago in heart, in spirit, and in soul. I don't believe a marriage certificate and a couple of rings decide a union is never going to end - the soul decides that and mine did. The only thing binding me to him is our son and the fact that we have not yet begun divorce proceedings.

I had this dream nearly four years ago and it changed everything. I know dreams are powerful and I always have. This showed me my path leading to my twin flame. In the dream, I froze in fear and woke up not knowing if I'd ever reach my destination. I guess I haven't. So I've failed and she's reached it in my place. Anyway, after that dream, a whopper of a synchronicity came revealing my twin flame to, indeed, be my twin flame and then more incredible synchronicities kept coming and coming. I think I walked around in a constant state of amazement and I felt 'charmed.' Then she came and I'm not sure he and I ever had chance, really. She has connections and money - things I do not have. She just kind of pushed herself in between the two of us. As things like this usually are, it's complicated and it's a long story I don't much care to dwell on.

The irony is, is that she is pushy and fulfilling the role in a more superficial sense that I suppose I am/was meant to play. Truth-be-told, my twin actually tried to break up with her some time ago, but she would not have it. They'd been in a play together and like I said, she seems to have this endless 'cling-on' effect. I worried that she would not give up until he got her to marry him and, well, here we are...

He'd called me last year, around this same time, to see him but I could not get away from certain things to be able to. She was not 'out of the picture' either which made the idea 'uncomfortable' for me. I suppose I'm now regretting that I didn't go to him, wondering if things would be different.

There is also the fact that he is happily and newly settled in a country in the Mediterranean, having left England where I, myself, have been living for the last (nearly) eleven years. I wish to go home - back to U.S., to my beloved mountains in California. I'm currently 'stuck' in the U.K. until things are worked out with the end of my marriage and custody arrangements with my child. He loves Europe and I love America (despite all its problems and current political upheaval - it's still home!). My twin and I just seem to be pulling in completely opposite directions. He's also seemingly become more vain and materialistic and that bothers me. He never used to be that way - not till he got with her. He was always humble and prided himself on being able to carry all of his most important belongings on his back. She's changed him so much that, sometimes, I have to think hard to remember who he used to be (i.e., the real him).

'Things are falling apart' - I think that would be a highly correct statement with regards to my life right about now. It is what it is. I'm not sure what else to say though I know what I have to do - I'm just unsure as to whether or not I've got the strength, the courage, the focus and the faith to do it. I'm also just plain tired.

Last edited by SierraNevadaStar : 05-10-2017 at 04:36 PM.
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  #17  
Old 05-10-2017, 02:12 PM
SierraNevadaStar SierraNevadaStar is offline
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Also, ssdm1 - try not to feel 'foolish' or 'embarrassed' because of the expectations you shared with your friends, regarding your twin flame. I'm sure they understand and sympathize with what you're going through. You were only hoping and to my mind, hope is never wrong. And, yes, definitely have some 'me' time to assess where you're 'at' - all things considered.
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