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Go Back   Spiritual Forums > Spirituality & Beliefs > Love & Relationships -Friends and Family

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  #1  
Old 30-08-2017, 10:46 AM
Volaju Volaju is offline
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Dealing with Masculine Inferiority

A few hours ago, I was reading some threads and stumbled across one that talked about gender equality in the workforce and that they felt unhappy because the work they were submitted too was hard for them and these jobs for be for males exclusively, since apparently we are just inherently stronger and more physically capable than women ... which I honestly don't think is completely true.

My father and mother have metabolic issue, though strangely they are on both opposites scales in terms of what they do. My father's metabolism is so fast that it makes it very difficult for him to maintain weight, exclusively muscle and fat-while my mother has difficulty maintaining muscle because it often gets chemically reformed into fat.

For myself, this means that not only does my body have issues with gaining weight, but any fat I have is almost instantly used to create energy instead of muscle and as such gaining weight is a huge struggle for me.

At first I didn't let this bother me too much, I trained in various martial arts, and met men and women capable of lifting and performing much more than I can in terms of strength due to their muscle mass being greater.

No I didn't start having issue until I started working. Constantly I was turned down from more intellectual jobs because they feel that women are more able to excel in these positions like accounting and much more, I have certifications in these fields that I trained for, but even still they refuse me. And, then I am pushed into jobs that function on hard labor, and its a constant battle. Due to my weight class and my inability to gain weight, I'm a liability to many of them. They know I can't lift heavy things and all around me are these huge men who are buffer than steel and seem to look down on me for it. Funny thing is I can beat many of them in a fight, but that doesn't really matter-not when the point is putting bread on the plate.

I can't make enough money to even buy a lot of food needed to keep a male figure like that, and my metabolism simply won't let up- and it probably won't for a while as my father is in his sixties and he just seems to be getting skinnier.

This has left me quite depressed, I can't understand what I'm supposed to do in a world that feels so gender-centric about its opportunities. At heart I'm an artist, but well, only a few in the realm art get to make it in terms of making money off it. Especially in this country.
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  #2  
Old 30-08-2017, 12:06 PM
knightoflenity knightoflenity is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Volaju
I was turned down from more intellectual jobs because they feel that women are more able to excel in these positions like accounting and much more, I have certifications in these fields that I trained for, but even still they refuse me.
This has left me quite depressed, I can't understand what I'm supposed to do in a world that feels so gender-centric about its opportunities. At heart I'm an artist, but well, only a few in the realm art get to make it in terms of making money off it. Especially in this country.

Which country are you referring to could I please ask?

It is relevant as say the machismo attitude or perhaps religious belief dominate certain countries. This may just be the way that you feel or it maybe well known so if you could let us know it would help with the next step...

.
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  #3  
Old 30-08-2017, 01:27 PM
Clover Clover is online now
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Quote:
Constantly I was turned down from more intellectual jobs because they feel that women are more able to excel in these positions like accounting and much more, I have certifications in these fields that I trained for, but even still they refuse me. And, then I am pushed into jobs that function on hard labor, and its a constant battle. Due to my weight class and my inability to gain weight, I'm a liability to many of them. They know I can't lift heavy things and all around me are these huge men who are buffer than steel and seem to look down on me for it. Funny thing is I can beat many of them in a fight, but that doesn't really matter-not when the point is putting bread on the plate.



Assuming your in the US, I have never heard of someone getting denied skilled employment because they are too skinny, quite the contrary. I have a back ground in HR management and I never heard or studied of someone being denied employment because of 'under weight' in particular. Gender and racial profiling are the two areas that have the greatest impact on employers both legally and financially.

It could be your interviewing skills, resume and the way you carry yourself. I'd focus and work on those attributes. It's such a competitive job market, you really have to show your interested and determined, write back formal thank you notes and letters for even having an interview.Lots of butt kissing basically. =/

It is my personal experience working in office settings than men are a lot easier to work with. That is just my personal opinion. : )
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Old 30-08-2017, 02:26 PM
Volaju Volaju is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by knightoflenity
Which country are you referring to could I please ask?

It is relevant as say the machismo attitude or perhaps religious belief dominate certain countries. This may just be the way that you feel or it maybe well known so if you could let us know it would help with the next step...

.

I live in the US.
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Old 30-08-2017, 02:32 PM
EndoftheRoad EndoftheRoad is offline
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Clover is dead on for the US job market. Even the Casino's were sued for "Sizing".

One thing I've continually seen over the years is an overvaluing of self worth to the point where the applicants are not willing to make that first step to get into the door. It's all cyclical, but getting in and then demonstrating your skills works in the proper environments.

Resumes if drab will be trashed 3 lines in, there are plenty of workshops and career coaches who can help create a Resume that pops. Interviewing is showcasing 'You' and what 'You' can bring to the table. Swagger helps, but focus on your strengths and be present in the interview.
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  #6  
Old 30-08-2017, 02:32 PM
Volaju Volaju is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Clover
Assuming your in the US, I have never heard of someone getting denied skilled employment because they are too skinny, quite the contrary. I have a back ground in HR management and I never heard or studied of someone being denied employment because of 'under weight' in particular. Gender and racial profiling are the two areas that have the greatest impact on employers both legally and financially.

It could be your interviewing skills, resume and the way you carry yourself. I'd focus and work on those attributes. It's such a competitive job market, you really have to show your interested and determined, write back formal thank you notes and letters for even having an interview.Lots of butt kissing basically. =/

It is my personal experience working in office settings than men are a lot easier to work with. That is just my personal opinion. : )

Currently I can't get around very well, I can't afford a car or the insurance the pay it at the moment. So I have to get around with a bike, with makes my options limited so I have to go through staffing agencies. They made it quite clear that they reserve jobs for more skilled and HR based things for women due to complaints of labor work being to hard for them and have forced me into labor fields as a response. I've tried looking for work in area around me but it has been difficult, I might try to just butt-kiss more but I honestly thought it was fine as my resumes are supposedly great from many employers' perspectives and I always do call-in's when I send a resume as well.

But honestly it just seems like things are getting to that point of no return, I keep popping tires on my bikes-the bus schedules don't line up with my jobs which is causing problems and most of them are too far to walk to. I feel like just giving up, honestly life just isn't worth these kinds of struggles and I'm done with this.
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  #7  
Old 30-08-2017, 02:35 PM
Volaju Volaju is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by EndoftheRoad
Clover is dead on for the US job market. Even the Casino's were sued for "Sizing".

One thing I've continually seen over the years is an overvaluing of self worth to the point where the applicants are not willing to make that first step to get into the door. It's all cyclical, but getting in and then demonstrating your skills works in the proper environments.

Resumes if drab will be trashed 3 lines in, there are plenty of workshops and career coaches who can help create a Resume that pops. Interviewing is showcasing 'You' and what 'You' can bring to the table. Swagger helps, but focus on your strengths and be present in the interview.

Luckily I took training for that already. I haven't really failed any interviews because I'm very well spoken. My issues are more with budget and just not having a footing.
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  #8  
Old 30-08-2017, 03:01 PM
EndoftheRoad EndoftheRoad is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Volaju
Luckily I took training for that already. I haven't really failed any interviews because I'm very well spoken. My issues are more with budget and just not having a footing.
Focus less on what's not working or what you don't have. Trust in your SELF. Beyond being well spoken, charisma and charm are in my experience easier to reach if you're relaxed and confident in your shoes. Good luck
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  #9  
Old 30-08-2017, 03:13 PM
Blue Tiger Blue Tiger is offline
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You may want to report the staffing agency to whatever your regional labor relations authority is.

It is illegal to "profile" or blatantly declare some jobs best suited for females and others reserved for males. It isn't just annoying, it's against the law.
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  #10  
Old 30-08-2017, 03:14 PM
knightoflenity knightoflenity is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Volaju
Luckily I took training for that already. I haven't really failed any interviews because I'm very well spoken. My issues are more with budget and just not having a footing.

Here in the UK I have noticed that employers want you to essentially swear allegiance to the company.

It also appears that the interviewers buy into a lot of body language techniques etc which work on some basic level but are also so basic that there would be other signs to go along with say eye contact as an example.

I for example feel that my gaze is too strong, the windows to the soul etc so I'm not going to concentrate my eyes on some 50 something old man unnecessarily. They might interpret that as lack of confidence but that's just moronic if you also have great answers & anecdotes etc.

There have been jobs that I am super over qualified for yet have not had a call back because I think that the next guy in the line hit all of the talking points.

I had a group interview once where even though I had handled thousands of ££'s every day & made on-the-fly decisions in my previous job the interviewer clearly liked the stock answers given by the Romanian next to me.

She wrote assessments on our answers & whilst I didn't see what she wrote this guy could say something like "I have always wanted to work for Walmat" & she would write lots down on the paper about him. Where can you go with that answer, does it show initiative or confidence - no.

It's like a lot of things in life whereby the people asking often want a certain answer, my best jobs came from going completely off script & just talking to the interviewer but if they are just office minions then you can be in for a rough ride unless you speak minion.

Waaaay extreme but have you ever considered the police or military? In the UK anyway you can earn class 3 driving licences as part of the training which are a great back up if your stuck for work later in life.

.
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