to see if I can experience absolutely anything spiritual that would make me feel there is something bigger than standard human life
I don't care for 'spirituality' as such. Not sure what it is! But just to know myself, and therefore others, a bit better, is for me a marvellous outcome of meditation. I now realise how unpleasant and hurtful I have been to other people - without knowing it at the time. Just because I did not have a good view of them, because I did not have a good view of myself.
And there is plenty room for improvement still, so I meditate on.
Making life slightly less of an ordeal for others, while being, somehow, a bit more happy within myself - that's good enough for me.