SF's 4 Agreements (friendly rules)... - News & Announcements

devolution · #1 02-27-2008, 09:18 PM

Don Miguel Ruiz is well-known as an author and Toltec master, and in his book The Four Agreements, he suggest four principles for life, which can be applied to many situations. And I feel that these principles are ideal for Spiritual Forums... And are like a 'friendly' version of the rules...

So here they are!

BE IMPECCABLE WITH YOUR WORD
Speak with kindness. Speak with love. Speak with integrity. Speak with light. Avoid speaking negatively or darkly. Express only what you mean. Use the power of words to pursue the path of love and truth... Don't attack or ridicule the thoughts and ideas of others, or try to force one's viewpoint on another...

DON'T TAKE ANYTHING PERSONALLY
Others may say or express ideas and thoughts that are different to your own. This isn't to say that either is right or wrong, however we all tend to take things personally when someone disagrees with us (we're human!), so please remember that what others say or do isn't because of you. When we remember this, we can feel better and suffer a little less...

DON'T MAKE ASSUMPTIONS
Find the strength to ask questions and to express what you really feel. Communicate with others as clearly as you can to avoid misunderstandings, sadness, and drama. With just this one agreement, you can completely transform your life. Not everyone sees things as we do, but that doesn't mean they are wrong or we are wrong... For all the 6 billion people on Earth, there are 6 billion gods and 6 billion ideas...

ALWAYS DO YOUR BEST
Your best is changing from moment ot moment; it will be different when you are healthy as opposed to sick. In any situation, simply do your best, and you will avoid self-judgment, self-abuse, and regret.

Here are some additions that I have thought about recently... These are also taken from the Toltec tradition. At first, they may seem strange or confusing! But they do have a certain wisdom about them that will help in many situations!

1. Don't Believe Me
Everyone's truth is their own -- what may be right for one person, may not be right for you. It is only their truth. We must learn to listen to our heart, to know if something is true. Our mind isn't a good purveyor of the truth. If something that someone tells us feels good and right inside, then perhaps it can also be our truth, and hence be true. But if it feels wrong or bad, then maybe it isn't our truth.

2. Don't Believe Yourself
Sometimes, we tell ourselves things that aren't true -- we often pay attention to the thoughts going across the TV screen of our mind and are affected deeply by them. The truth, our truth, can always be found in our hearts. We need to quieten that TV screen down, as it is the loudest voice in our heads... It contains so many messages from the whole of our lives, and many are out-dated and untrue for us now...

3. Don't Believe Anyone Else
This is related to #1 -- often people will tell us things, saying that they are the truth -- but let us remember that those things are only their truth. They could be our truth also, but equally they could also not be our truth. If something someone tells us feels right, safe, and OK, then perhaps it is also our truth. But, I have found that if something feels wrong, scary, fearful, dark, then it usually isn't our truth.

Here is a prinicpal that I would like to offer to the members of Spiritual Forums, to be applied here, and in all aspects of your life...

"It's better to light one candle than to curse the darkness"

It can be easier to dwell on what is wrong in this world, or in our lives, but the only way to overcome the 'darkness' or what is wrong, is to shine a light, to live in love... Kindness, compassion, hope -- these are the only things that can 'defeat' the 'darkness'. I do not believe that there are any 'evil forces' or 'dark entities', 'demons', 'devils' and 'spiritual wars' as some describe... I believe that there are different 'level's or 'energies' in which we can vibrate, or act from or dwell in... But we can always reach out and strive for the higher levels.... But remember #1 from the list above - it's up to you to decide if this is your truth also!... But one piece of wisdom that I learned, was that the truth never hurts, destroys or controls... Sometimes the truth can be hurtful to our egos or illusions, but the truth is beautiful, and simple... And it heals, and it frees and liberates us...

So let us speak of the truth... Let us light a candle... For that is the only way to heal our pains, wounds, thoughts and poisons...

Here is a little more great wisdom I found from Don Miguel's book The Voice of Knowledge - which goes a long way to explain our 'Shine a Light' rule philosophy:
"..most people around the world believe that there is a great conflict in the universe, a conflict between good and evil [light and dark]. Well, this is not true. It's true that there is a conflict, but the conflict only exists in the human mind, not in the universe. It's not true for the plants or the animals. It's not true for the stars or the trees, or for the rest of nature. It's only true for humans. And the conflict in the human mind is not really between good and evil. The real conflict in our mind is between the truth and what is not the truth, between the truth and lies. Good and evil are just the result of that conflict. The result of believing in the truth is goodness, love, happiness. When you live your lfie in truth, you feel god, and your life is wonderful. The result of believing in lies and defending those lies creates what you call evil; it creates fanaticism. Believing in lies creates all of the injustice, all of the violence and abuse, all of the suffering, not only in society but also in the individual. The universe is as simple as it is or it is not, but humans complicate everything!..."

#2 02-27-2008, 10:14 PM

Thanks devolution for posting that i know how easy misunderstandings can occur we just need to learn to respect each other as well. It really is all in the way we word things i know i will be more careful as well..

#3 02-27-2008, 10:19 PM

Not only is that great advice, and is a lovely idea to be used as *friendly rules* for the forum. I also believe that the concept should be used in every day situations.

Thank you so much for sharing, I thoroughly enjoy visiting this forum, the management and staff run it so well.

I would just like to take this opportunity, and thank you for a great SF, through what you have created I have learnt so much, and have made a lot of online friends.

*Be true to yourself and others*

Love and light Orla xx

Celeste · #4 02-28-2008, 04:59 AM

Yes I know those and love those. They are for SFs and life!!!

not around · #5 02-28-2008, 11:42 AM

Thanks for the reminders devolution ... acceptance of each others individual expression is acceptance of self ... the third one has been highlighted for me most directly lately

Pip · #6 02-28-2008, 05:22 PM

They are great aren't they. I may read that book again, I seem to forget such simple principles a lot of the time.
Of course, simple doesn't always equal easy does it? I'm a 12 stepper & found that out the hard way

forbes1954 · #7 02-28-2008, 06:16 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Neville

It should be noted that I echo Orlas and Comets sentiments whole heartedly.

Neville.

Ditto. Love and Light Debbie ♥Hugs♥

#8 03-10-2008, 02:23 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by devolution

Don Miguel Ruiz is well-known as an author and Toltec master, and in his book The Four Agreements, he suggest four principles for life, which can be applied to many situations. And I feel that these principles are ideal for Spiritual Forums... And are like a 'friendly' version of the rules...

So here they are!

BE IMPECCABLE WITH YOUR WORD
Speak with kindness. Speak with love. Speak with integrity. Speak with light. Avoid speaking negatively or darkly. Express only what you mean. Use the power of words to pursue the path of love and truth... Don't attack or ridicule the thoughts and ideas of others, or try to force one's viewpoint on another...

DON'T TAKE ANYTHING PERSONALLY
Others may say or express ideas and thoughts that are different to your own. This isn't to say that either is right or wrong, however we all tend to take things personally when someone disagrees with us (we're human!), so please remember that what others say or do isn't because of you. When we remember this, we can feel better and suffer a little less...

DON'T MAKE ASSUMPTIONS
Find the strength to ask questions and to express what you really feel. Communicate with others as clearly as you can to avoid misunderstandings, sadness, and drama. With just this one agreement, you can completely transform your life. Not everyone sees things as we do, but that doesn't mean they are wrong or we are wrong... For all the 6 billion people on Earth, there are 6 billion gods and 6 billion ideas...

ALWAYS DO YOUR BEST
Your best is changing from moment ot moment; it will be different when you are healthy as opposed to sick. In any situation, simply do your best, and you will avoid self-judgment, self-abuse, and regret.

Great book, excellent agreements. I especially need to practice #2

2. Don't Take Anything Personally
Nothing others do is because of you. What others say and do is a projection of their own reality, their own dream. When you are immune to the opinions and actions of others, you won't be the victim of needless suffering.

http://www.miguelruiz.com/fouragreements.html

elusive · #9 03-11-2008, 07:13 PM

Most excellent advice. I've read the book years ago, and it was turning point for me. Those words helped me find love and peace within. As his words were a gift to me, I passed that book on to another, hoping they, too, would discover a new way of being. I think I will go to the bookstore to revisit his words.

devolution · #10 03-12-2008, 09:35 PM

I have added some new thoughts & wisdom to the original list - I hope that these truths and pointers may help you along your journey, here at SF and in your life...
**************

Don Miguel Ruiz is well-known as an author and Toltec master, and in his book The Four Agreements, he suggest four principles for life, which can be applied to many situations. And I feel that these principles are ideal for Spiritual Forums... And are like a 'friendly' version of the rules...

So here they are!

BE IMPECCABLE WITH YOUR WORD
Speak with kindness. Speak with love. Speak with integrity. Speak with light. Avoid speaking negatively or darkly. Express only what you mean. Use the power of words to pursue the path of love and truth... Don't attack or ridicule the thoughts and ideas of others, or try to force one's viewpoint on another...

DON'T TAKE ANYTHING PERSONALLY
Others may say or express ideas and thoughts that are different to your own. This isn't to say that either is right or wrong, however we all tend to take things personally when someone disagrees with us (we're human!), so please remember that what others say or do isn't because of you. When we remember this, we can feel better and suffer a little less...

DON'T MAKE ASSUMPTIONS
Find the strength to ask questions and to express what you really feel. Communicate with others as clearly as you can to avoid misunderstandings, sadness, and drama. With just this one agreement, you can completely transform your life. Not everyone sees things as we do, but that doesn't mean they are wrong or we are wrong... For all the 6 billion people on Earth, there are 6 billion gods and 6 billion ideas...

ALWAYS DO YOUR BEST
Your best is changing from moment ot moment; it will be different when you are healthy as opposed to sick. In any situation, simply do your best, and you will avoid self-judgment, self-abuse, and regret.

Here are some additions that I have thought about recently... These are also taken from the Toltec tradition. At first, they may seem strange or confusing! But they do have a certain wisdom about them that will help in many situations!

1. Don't Believe Me
Everyone's truth is their own -- what may be right for one person, may not be right for you. It is only their truth. We must learn to listen to our heart, to know if something is true. Our mind isn't a good purveyor of the truth. If something that someone tells us feels good and right inside, then perhaps it can also be our truth, and hence be true. But if it feels wrong or bad, then maybe it isn't our truth.

2. Don't Believe Yourself
Sometimes, we tell ourselves things that aren't true -- we often pay attention to the thoughts going across the TV screen of our mind and are affected deeply by them. The truth, our truth, can always be found in our hearts. We need to quieten that TV screen down, as it is the loudest voice in our heads... It contains so many messages from the whole of our lives, and many are out-dated and untrue for us now...

3. Don't Believe Anyone Else
This is related to #1 -- often people will tell us things, saying that they are the truth -- but let us remember that those things are only their truth. They could be our truth also, but equally they could also not be our truth. If something someone tells us feels right, safe, and OK, then perhaps it is also our truth. But, I have found that if something feels wrong, scary, fearful, dark, then it usually isn't our truth.

Finally, here is a prinicpal that I would like to offer to the members of Spiritual Forums, to be applied here, and in all aspects of your life...

"It's better to light a candle than curse the darkness"

It can be easier to dwell on what is wrong in this world, or in our lives, but the only way to overcome the 'darkness' or what is wrong, is to shine a light, to live in love... Kindness, compassion, hope -- these are the only things that can 'defeat' the 'darkness'. I do not believe that there are any 'evil forces' or 'dark entities', 'demons', 'devils' and 'spiritual wars' as some describe... I believe that there are different 'level's or 'energies' in which we can vibrate, or act from or dwell in... But we can always reach out and strive for the higher levels.... But remember #1 from the list above - it's up to you to decide if this is your truth also!... But one piece of wisdom that I learned, was that the truth never hurts, destroys or controls... Sometimes the truth can be hurtful to our egos or illusions, but the truth is beautiful, and simple... And it heals, and it frees and liberates us...

So let us speak of the truth... Let us light a candle... For that is the only way to heal our pains, wounds, thoughts and poisons...