Mindfulness and emotions

[klandestin]

I feel like my emotions are very volatile when I am "living in the present".

For example, before, when I used to live in my head and did something exciting the effect would last several hours or for the entire day, now the excitement seem to vanish as soon as I finish my action :

- For example when I eat something delicious I am happy while eating it but as soon as my plate is empty I get this " yeah that was good .. and now what ?"

Same with working-out or hanging out with friends, as soon as I catch my breath or the party ends I get instantly "bored ?"

It's kind of a double edged sword, it works with negative emotion but positive emotions too.

[slowsnake]

Originally Posted by klandestin

I feel like my emotions are very volatile when I am "living in the present".

For example, before, when I used to live in my head and did something exciting the effect would last several hours or for the entire day, now the excitement seem to vanish as soon as I finish my action :

- For example when I eat something delicious I am happy while eating it but as soon as my plate is empty I get this " yeah that was good .. and now what ?"

Same with working-out or hanging out with friends, as soon as I catch my breath or the party ends I get instantly "bored ?"

It's kind of a double edged sword, it works with negative emotion but positive emotions too.

Sounds to me like you have put your foot on the first rung of the ladder!
The Path!..Well Done..

Kind Regards Billy.

[MicroMacro]

Originally Posted by klandestin

I feel like my emotions are very volatile when I am "living in the present".

For example when I eat something delicious I am happy while eating it but as soon as my plate is empty I get this " yeah that was good .. and now what ?"

Same with working-out or hanging out with friends, as soon as I catch my breath or the party ends I get instantly "bored ?"

It's kind of a double edged sword, it works with negative emotion but positive emotions too.

You wrote "Yeah that was good .. and now what? That looks like having expectations to me. It looks like a fall. A letdown moment. A disappointment. And it also looks like you're not as present as you think you are because that moment of now what might look and sound present, but it's future oriented.

Have you tried to dissect the volatility? Is it coming from different sources or just one? For example - could it all be coming from a disenchantment about life in general or could it be coming from sensations of unfulfillment, a lack of ambition, impatience, and ambivalence?

Whatever answer or answers you come up with - you might try dissecting them down to their origin/s.

[klandestin]

Originally Posted by MicroMacro

Have you tried to dissect the volatility? Is it coming from different sources or just one? For example - could it all be coming from a disenchantment about life in general or could it be coming from sensations of unfulfillment, a lack of ambition, impatience, and ambivalence?

Whatever answer or answers you come up with - you might try dissecting them down to their origin/s.

It's weird, it's like my head is happy but something deep inside of me is unhappy or bored to death at the same time. I mean I am very positive, jovial and feel great when I talk to someone or do things but it feels kinda "fake" because of this "dual emotional processing state".

disenchantment about life in general

Well I'm not particularly excited about my spiritual experience because I used to be a total materialist, never had any interest in spiritual stuff but the worst is that I had this "spiritual awakening", "awareness state" when I started to enjoy life the most. Now I'm stuck in this weird synchro-land, Universe bombarding me with message world.

or could it be coming from sensations of unfulfillment

Yeah I feel passive as hell because everything seem to revolve around me, everything is "in-control", almost no stress, I can even guess the next synchronicities that are going to happen, feels like a spiritual harassment from the Universe and being a total spoiled child.
I hate gifts, easy shortcuts and have always thrived in difficulty. It's like if I need some stress, adrenaline rush to be able to fully enjoy life.

a lack of ambition

Yes, same as above.

impatience

No.

ambivalence?

Yes, well my birth chart is ambivalent (cap sun/ aqu ascend) so I'm used to that