Moving on from Spirituality

[LadyMay]

I haven't been logged on for a while, and I've had time to think about things. I'd been 'spiritual' for pretty much all of my adult life, and Christian for some of it, but I think after a bunch of things that's happened in my life I'm going through a re-evaluation stage and putting everything down to very clever hallucinations created by the brain.

I think it's time I move on from this forum, because I have stopped believing in all the things I used to... awakings, kundalini, energy, twin flames, crystals, chakras, universal consciousness, God/gods, afterlife(heaven/hell/reincarnation/whatever else) synchronicity, divine judgement (karma/sin), multi-dimensionality, loss of egoic identity (which I now think is very harmful)... psychic abilities, spiritual healing, souls, angels/demons, dimensions, ect. I think our biology is very complex and makes this stuff up. There's just no rational basis for it and I feel I've been living in a cloud all my life. I feel pretty freed up now and feel okay with the idea of just dying and that being the end.

Maybe things will change, who knows, maybe it's just a transition phase to a deeper understanding, but I feel pretty certain right now that I'm finally starting to see clearly... I know most probably won't agree as this is a 'spiritual' forum, but I am okay with spiritual/religious people and what they believe, even if I don't agree anymore.

I feel like I've wasted my life in some grand fantasy world and want to get back to reality. I want to make every second of my life count.

[firstandlast]

Well of course you can see clearly that which is laid out in a completely enclosed understanding-- If you have a full system of thought that explains everything in front of you as it is, than boom clarity--

Clarity is infinite in every direction-- But does clarity make room for the unknown?

[Hemera]

Best of luck on your journey. I admire your courage to face what feels true for you as it's not always an easy thing to do. Not sure if you're posting to say goodbye and won't be reading replies or you're interested in people's opinions on your newfound perspective. If it's the latter, no one knows for sure do they, but death is a certainty, so living life to the fullest sounds very sensible to me. Take care.

[awareness]

Originally Posted by Estelwen

I haven't been logged on for a while, and I've had time to think about things. I'd been 'spiritual' for pretty much all of my adult life, and Christian for some of it, but I think after a bunch of things that's happened in my life I'm going through a re-evaluation stage and putting everything down to very clever hallucinations created by the brain.

I think it's time I move on from this forum, because I have stopped believing in all the things I used to... awakings, kundalini, energy, twin flames, crystals, chakras, universal consciousness, God/gods, afterlife(heaven/hell/reincarnation/whatever else) synchronicity, divine judgement (karma/sin), multi-dimensionality, loss of egoic identity (which I now think is very harmful)... psychic abilities, spiritual healing, souls, angels/demons, dimensions, ect. I think our biology is very complex and makes this stuff up. There's just no rational basis for it and I feel I've been living in a cloud all my life. I feel pretty freed up now and feel okay with the idea of just dying and that being the end.

Maybe things will change, who knows, maybe it's just a transition phase to a deeper understanding, but I feel pretty certain right now that I'm finally starting to see clearly... I know most probably won't agree as this is a 'spiritual' forum, but I am okay with spiritual/religious people and what they believe, even if I don't agree anymore.

I feel like I've wasted my life in some grand fantasy world and want to get back to reality. I want to make every second of my life count.

Hi. Oh, you haven't really wasted your life, dear Estelwen, though this is not a rejection of how you currently feel in that regard.

Your post is one of the most honest I've seen in this community, I feel, and is to be celebrated as an expression of your continued journey.

Following one's joy in itself is spiritual, if that's what you are really set to do (more of).

I will mention this thought for your consideration, that there really is no separation between fantasy and human reality, nor between imagination and psychic ability, for the imagination is a tool with which to tap into higher centers of consciousness. Without consciousness, without fantasy, there could be no physical reality, as it is a known proven fact that what humans think is "physical" is not actually so.

To believe that we are just physical beings and that's it, is one of the most ridiculous fantasies a person could create, and there is plenty of evidence to suggest otherwise.

Also, no one changes their belief system overnight.

I promise you this: Your "break" away from those things you mentioned will indeed give you (as it is already) more clarity. In fact, your attitude that you are okay with spiritual/religious people and their beliefs is itself a very spiritually mature attitude that shows you really haven't "wasted" anything, in terms of the bigger picture. . .for even when we "waste time" or "waste our energies" in fear, in truth nothing is wasted, ultimately, for ALL aspects of human experience are valuable in assisting us to grow and mature.

This is gold, though, what you said:

I want to make every second of my life count.

What helps in that regard is letting go of regret, because regret keeps us emotionally and vibrationally bound to "the past" in a very unhealthy way. Regret itself is self-slavery, and if you TRULY are open to enjoying the moments of your life more, it is required that you heal your mind of its regret, through self-love/forgiveness.

Everything counts. Every experience counts in helping us reach greater understanding.

Blessings.

Originally Posted by Estelwen

I haven't been logged on for a while, and I've had time to think about things. I'd been 'spiritual' for pretty much all of my adult life, and Christian for some of it, but I think after a bunch of things that's happened in my life I'm going through a re-evaluation stage and putting everything down to very clever hallucinations created by the brain.

I think it's time I move on from this forum, because I have stopped believing in all the things I used to... awakings, kundalini, energy, twin flames, crystals, chakras, universal consciousness, God/gods, afterlife(heaven/hell/reincarnation/whatever else) synchronicity, divine judgement (karma/sin), multi-dimensionality, loss of egoic identity (which I now think is very harmful)... psychic abilities, spiritual healing, souls, angels/demons, dimensions, ect. I think our biology is very complex and makes this stuff up. There's just no rational basis for it and I feel I've been living in a cloud all my life. I feel pretty freed up now and feel okay with the idea of just dying and that being the end.

Maybe things will change, who knows, maybe it's just a transition phase to a deeper understanding, but I feel pretty certain right now that I'm finally starting to see clearly... I know most probably won't agree as this is a 'spiritual' forum, but I am okay with spiritual/religious people and what they believe, even if I don't agree anymore.

I feel like I've wasted my life in some grand fantasy world and want to get back to reality. I want to make every second of my life count.

Not really. It's been a great exploration and you've come to a conclusion that
leaves you no less spiritual than you were before; just a little more aware of
the morass that "modern" spirituality has become.

People might suggest that living is indeed a grand hallucination - but you're still
living it and coming to terms with a more down to earth perspective.

It seems to me that many here and elsewhere join in "spirituality" and tend to think the
means is the end. They want easy answers. But the finding of self, cutting the
puppetmasters' strings and turning "higher principles" simply into the
way one lives is hard work. You can have all the chakras, crystals, books
with the latest fads, ascensions, LOAs, tarot cards you like but they'll stay
just chakras, crystals, etc, unless you use them as catalysts to self develop,
discarding them when they cease to serve.

In the final analysis, you don't need these things. One can interpret their
reality without ever touching the word "spiritual". However, for those who
make sudden discoveries about some part of their relation with the mundane,
the props are there to help them understand. Meditation is really just
highly focused concentration - the sort of thing expected of a student of the
sciences or medicine. Prayers are just highly focused affirmations (even if I
for one think they're misdirected). Words are useless to describe our
experiences but why should we want to describe them apart from the normal
reactions to an immediate situation, the things that signify our reactions to
others. Nice idea to share experiences but fact is, they're meaningless
outside oneself.

Faith? Beliefs? Humans need answers that are never absolute so they seek
them through spiritual or religious practices.
Too often they believe in the object rather than what it can signify.

I don't visit many sections of the forum because they present a fragmented
route to self-development to me. If nothing else the whole has helped me
toward greater pragmatism.

Well, I hope you stay around/return. My thoughts have been illuminated by your views. You will be missed.
However, I understand your reasoning.

♥

[Hemera]

Fantastic post lorelyen. I really hope Estelwen is still here to read it as it might help her. It has put into perspective what's happening to me in the last year or so as books objects beliefs that I once attached to for my sense of spirituality are being stripped away because I no longer need them and I can see them as tools rather than the be all and end all. It's a hard place to be in some ways because all that is left is the rawness of ones own experience but it's also very freeing.

helps out (to already throp a peer pressure off balance hit gonged on idealistic as that's as a round air balloon thropped) like you know worth its and for good's come, that's about motivated (on) walkbys (of believing)

remember that one day we
shall be taken up for the better

this as for them at news from uncalled for spots and overcomed welcome, at going alone at innermost than as publishings

[Kaere]

Originally Posted by Estelwen

...I have stopped believing in all the things I used to... awakings, kundalini, energy, twin flames, crystals, chakras, universal consciousness, God/gods, afterlife(heaven/hell/reincarnation/whatever else) synchronicity, divine judgement (karma/sin), multi-dimensionality, loss of egoic identity (which I now think is very harmful)... psychic abilities, spiritual healing, souls, angels/demons, dimensions, ect. I think our biology is very complex and makes this stuff up. There's just no rational basis for it and I feel I've been living in a cloud all my life.

IMO these things aren't 'spirituality' or 'spiritual' or make anyone closer to any end game or make them more or 'holy' or not or even privy to some mystical secrets of the universe lol. They're just interesting things to study and explore. If anything, I feel they are distractions, a means to find a 'reason' for why things are the way they are same as the bible or koran or *insert religion here*. I still wobble on a lot of them myself and I do wonder what the heck I've done with my time lol

A friend once apologized to me for an outburst he made when a car turned in front of him alarmingly (he shouted at the driver). He said to me "oh sorry, that wasn't very spiritual, was it?". I thought... "well geez, what exactly do you think 'spiritual' is?" Spiritual isn't a thing you do or a way you force yourself to behave. It's inside, it's a part of you. You can't do it wrongly! Whenever I hear someone talk about how 'spiritual' they are because they believe in chakras, I just want to roll my eyes at them.

Originally Posted by Estelwen

I feel pretty freed up now and feel okay with the idea of just dying and that being the end.

Then this is your spirituality and y'know what else? You don't have to justify it to anyone, ever.

Originally Posted by Estelwen

I feel like I've wasted my life in some grand fantasy world and want to get back to reality. I want to make every second of my life count.

If it's true (and we can't be sure) that we incarnated here on earth to experience living here on earth, then getting back to reality and just living your life the best you can is EXACTLY what you should be doing. The rest wasn't a waste mind you... figuring stuff out is a part of all that.

Best of luck and maybe we'll see you around again

[naturesflow]

Originally Posted by Estelwen

I haven't been logged on for a while, and I've had time to think about things. I'd been 'spiritual' for pretty much all of my adult life, and Christian for some of it, but I think after a bunch of things that's happened in my life I'm going through a re-evaluation stage and putting everything down to very clever hallucinations created by the brain.

I think it's time I move on from this forum, because I have stopped believing in all the things I used to... awakings, kundalini, energy, twin flames, crystals, chakras, universal consciousness, God/gods, afterlife(heaven/hell/reincarnation/whatever else) synchronicity, divine judgement (karma/sin), multi-dimensionality, loss of egoic identity (which I now think is very harmful)... psychic abilities, spiritual healing, souls, angels/demons, dimensions, ect. I think our biology is very complex and makes this stuff up. There's just no rational basis for it and I feel I've been living in a cloud all my life. I feel pretty freed up now and feel okay with the idea of just dying and that being the end.

Maybe things will change, who knows, maybe it's just a transition phase to a deeper understanding, but I feel pretty certain right now that I'm finally starting to see clearly... I know most probably won't agree as this is a 'spiritual' forum, but I am okay with spiritual/religious people and what they believe, even if I don't agree anymore.

I feel like I've wasted my life in some grand fantasy world and want to get back to reality. I want to make every second of my life count.

The shift from one phase to another is part of life. But I get what you say about letting the fantasy go. The unreal has to be understood to reach the reality of life and what is real for you. So that makes much sense in relation to how I shifted in myself also.

When you seek through the many layers of self, get to the core of things, realizing death and with the incentive to live your life fully, suddenly the simplicity of being kicks in. You just get on with it, wherever that it takes you, leads you and pretty much what you love doing.

People use to say to me because I was so heavily engaged in the path of self awareness and my deeper understanding of myself and life that I was "very spiritual". To me it was just how I was and needed to be for a time in my life. They obviously separated my path into something they saw separate in themselves that I was being and doing. But to me it was just life and what life was showing me, through everything I was engaged in.

So your post makes much sense as far as this shift goes. I wish you well. I still hang out here to share and enjoy myself, even as times took me away. So you never know, you might come back to explore the nature of you in reality..From my experience, being more open and more aware that too takes some deeper integration when you take you and that back into the real world..

Its funny when you grow and move past the old spaces no longer needed, it can feel like you have wasted your life ..But I have learned that everything you connect to, grow through is changing cycle of awareness and shifting and moving you forward, but everything serves the present moment of your life and where your headed. So it all moves into an integrative process of you being you. So nothing is wasted and everything is recycled and comes into a deeper living process from all that. I find the old stuff I once connected too, is often reflected in some way through others, so it serves me to look at it from other perspectives, deepen and understand my own awareness in that. Plus my creative approach is moved in another way, so that is fun too :)

[Armadodecadron]

Congratulations on your latest pitfall. If it makes you feel any better, you're hardly alone. It isn't like the true believers brought about the new age, eh'?

Just to give you a bit of friendly irritation on your road ahead, I'd like to leave a little thorn in you:

Google the medical basis for the placebo effect, and give what you find as rational a deconstruction as possible.