i never feel like i'm anyone's first choice and i'm not sure what to do about it

[H:O:R:A:C:E]

Bullet point: i've noticed that you've not made a post in over 24 hours fox22.
just sayin'.

[SaturninePluto]

Hi!

I found what Lilith said to quite touching, and this whole thread quite touching.

I would also would like to say, if I had such a kind considerate friend such as yourself, I would be indeed honored.

I can relate in some ways when much younger around middle and highschool. I left grade school and moved to a different town and entered middle school. I was aghast at all I heard. Kids calling other kids the most terrible of names. I never had spoke that way in grade school, I always tried my very best to be kind. I hung out with a new friend or different friend/group of friends each day. My friends were quite happy to ask for my time. I often had friends I spent extra time on so it really was each day I would devote my day to a different friend. I was fiercely loyal to my friends each and every one and still am.

I once stood up for a friend of mine when we were young grade school to a couple of male bullies and we both were female. They were making fun of her nose and she said I had told them off right back saying my nose was actually bigger than hers and to not make fun of my friend or anyone else due to that one day they will come to learn that they no longer will know or even like who they are or have become. She told me about this last year, how it made her feel to have me, her friend stick up for her like that, in spite of perhaps being afraid myself, and she told me- Sarah, you are brave.

Then highschool happened, haha and I had not a friend in the world. And god damn does that feeling hurt. That hurts more than anything imo. I know I've been there. That feeling of being unloved, and unliked hurts more-so than physical pain. To me it is the worst feeling.

But I learned through the high school experience of what makes a good friend and what does not. I learned how to distinguish what type of people I wand that I would feel proud to call friend.

So despite having very few friends, probably less than 40 at this current time. I am very happy to call each one my friend. Because through time I have learned to speak up for myself as I have done for others and to say Hey dude this is not right! You can not treat me like this!

I have learned to trust my own judgement about people and what is okay and what isn't.

Like I said, given what you have written you would indeed make an excellent friend, if they can not see it, it is their loss, and maybe after you part ways, one day you may run into them, and they may surprise you and say- I remember you! You were a great friend!Ly brave you know... I remember this one time...

And you may realize that while yes friendships can be difficult, even the tougher times are not for nothing.

Blessings.

[fox22]

Originally Posted by H:O:R:A:C:E

Bullet point: i've noticed that you've not made a post in over 24 hours fox22.
just sayin'.

haha sorry busy working.

[fox22]

SaturninePluto it really is a shame we all have to go through things like this, but I suppose everyone's right, in some way shape or form it makes us better people.

Originally Posted by SaturninePluto

And you may realize that while yes friendships can be difficult, even the tougher times are not for nothing.

Blessings.

I really liked this.

[H:O:R:A:C:E]

fox22: ...so i was basically entirely alone

"Lookin' for some happiness
But there is so a loneliness to find"
George Baker- Little Green Bag
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4b1wt3-zpzQ

[fox22]

Originally Posted by H:O:R:A:C:E

"Lookin' for some happiness
But there is so a loneliness to find"
George Baker- Little Green Bag
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4b1wt3-zpzQ

what a snazzy tune haha

[H:O:R:A:C:E]

Originally Posted by fox22

what a snazzy tune haha

yeah, i like it.

how about this one?

Ed Sheeran - Thinking Out Loud
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lp-EO5I60KA

[fox22]

Originally Posted by H:O:R:A:C:E

yeah, i like it.

how about this one?

Ed Sheeran - Thinking Out Loud
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lp-EO5I60KA

i love Ed!!!

[H:O:R:A:C:E]

i had a dream where a beautiful girl wanted me to reference anything
involving Steve Martin (she thought he was hilarious).
check out the musicianship here:
Steve Martin & Earl Scruggs - Foggy Mountain Breakdown
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rrlqQ1_vZVE

[fox22]

Originally Posted by H:O:R:A:C:E

i had a dream where a beautiful girl wanted me to reference anything
involving Steve Martin (she thought he was hilarious).
check out the musicianship here:
Steve Martin & Earl Scruggs - Foggy Mountain Breakdown
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rrlqQ1_vZVE

Pffft, what an interesting dream. I can't say I'm a huge fan of banjos but I had a friend who played them. Nice video though!
This is probably the only banjo song I've ever heard and thoroughly enjoyed.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CvS7natIv18