Torn in 2 directions

Anyhow,20yrs is a long time to be married,i jokingly tell others when they've been in a long marriage/relationship,that you get a lesser sentence for such and such a crime.

Anywho,after 20yrs,there must of been something there,you do owe her at the very 'least' and at the 'most',to be honest and where your at,at the moment.

Well,what's on you mind and this other female.

Convey and be open.

And btw,following on from this twin flame concept,how do you know it's not a fake twin?

You know,at times of feeling torn and being in two minds,i find you have to be at those crossroads,and one being there is all for good reason.

I know exactly why your there but it's for you to find out for yourself.

[Anne]

This subject surfaces every so often and always manages to inflame.

Experiencing a similar situation, I went with honesty as the best policy.
At the time, all I knew was my soul clamouring for authenticity, and for a short while I felt relieved to tell my truth.

But dealing with the insanely jealous is no joke. Be prepared for dire consequences is all I can add.

Wishing you the best Lerxst.

[Ziusudra]

Originally Posted by Lerxst

??? At what point did anything sound disgraceful?

I respect her but said she was the jealous type. She's admitted to being the jealous type. She's even admitted to going overboard with the jealousy.

If anything sounds disrespectful, I apologize. That may sometimes happen when I talk about things that other people hold valuable. After a decade of meditation and conscious Buddhist practice though, I've made a very real effort on focusing on "letting go" and the idea of non-attachment. It may appear as though I'm being flippant at times, but that's more a result of "letting it be", than fixating/obsessing over things.

I can guarantee you, that there is no "getting it on" taking place in any of this. Again... conscious focus and the eightfold path have been my guidelines for a decade and I'm a very real, actual practitioner - which I feel deserves mention, since a lot of Western culture views the practice from more of the secular, Psychological view, than a religious one.

The fact that my TF/SC has managed to pull out one of the deepest, most instinctive reactions from the depths of my consciousness - that "fatherly" instinct to protect and defend her, without regard to my own safety, well being or future, and being counter to everything I believe and make a conscious effort to practice... scared the absolute hell out of me on an occasion where it surfaced. The only other person in the world who that's reserved for, is my son.

With my wife, I can control that, rationalize it, think it through and meditate on it. That may sound dismissive to some people, but that's what I am, and how I make a conscious effort to be 99.999% of the time. There's a definitive difference between the two relationships and it's difficult to explain one, without being dismissive of the other. If I talk about my TF, it sounds as though my wife doesn't matter and is being tossed aside. If I talk about my wife, it sounds like my TF is simply a phase, or a "crush" that will pass if I just take a cold shower.

And that's where the internal struggle begins...

You were putting your wife down, low down.
When this has nothing to do with her.
You were making yourself to be a victim who needs to keep this indiscretion a secret because of your wife. Really dude?
Treat your wife as your equal, then you will be alright.
Your wife is not the issue nor cause here. You and your actions are.

Your wife already knows her weakness and shared it with you, her husband. I respect that. Good for her.
Most man and woman don't know their own weakness.
Once they know their weakness, they can control it and take consequences due to it.

Since there is not "getting it on" with this other woman as you stated, there is nothing for your wife to be jealous about.

Unless, you have attraction and desire for this other woman..(as it seems)
OR you have been communicating and meeting her SECRETLY since meeting this woman at the charity ball.

Is there any reason to keep this person a secret from your wife?
Why will your wife be jealous about?
What did you do?

Here is the opening line for you:
"Honey, I don't want you to get a wrong idea about this.
There is nothing to be jealous about. Do you remember the woman we met at the charity ball? (- name here). I have this strange feeling that I may had been her father or something in the past life because I have this protective fatherly feeling for her when she told me about (whatever), similar to how I feel about our own son. What do you think it is? Past life connection? It is strange....so I want to get your opinion about it. HAVE YOU EVER FELT THIS WAY ABOUT SOMEONE? "

Discuss this subject the same way you would discuss a science project. - Approach it like: "hey, something is growing in that test tube, let's research that together".

However, if you have been texting sexting and meeting this other woman secretly... well.. You need to deal with that.
None of us can help you with that.

[Inika]

Sorry SSDM

your post slipped from my attention during the flow of posters.

You told him....thats great! A relief i bet.

And he told you the same way for him also?

[ssdm1]

Originally Posted by Inika

Sorry SSDM

your post slipped from my attention during the flow of posters.

You told him....thats great! A relief i bet.

And he told you the same way for him also?

He's happy and accepting. Now that he knows he's realizing things, which confuses him, lol.

I allow it to flow and answer any questions he has that come up. He's not ready for forums or tarot readings.

[Inika]

thats awesome Ssdm :)

I think its cool about the no forum and tarot at this time. i find it more detrimental than helpful. Cross energies etc which can influence, project and contaminate the flow. However, a strong and two knowing souls are untouched by outsiders. Its the inner soul journey and delving into it together and assisting each other through all processes of what comes up in the journey that is really important rather than hanging out on a forum together engaging with others about it.

im currently in a stepping back phase due to a ton load of hidden trauma that came up unexpectedly. bit of shock got me pulling back.

some kind of weird dysfunctional comfort about this sub forum