Dream of a past hurt

[LibraIndigo]

So I am at odds as to what this dream could mean.
It's a sort of embarrassing dream to bring up but I thought someone might have some insight.

So about 10 years ago I used to work on a charter yacht. At the time I had very low self esteem though I think no one knew it. I just sort of stayed to myself a lot. Anyway the owners son worked there too and worked as captain sometimes, he was actually the one that trained me. We had a good working relationship, I guess you could say we were friends, he actually scheduled me to work directly with him all the time. He eventually expressed interest in me, but my mind would not let me accept that he genuinely liked me. I took a leave of absence from there I guess you could say and during that time I met someone that reminded me of him but what I felt was more reasonable and possible. I came back and started working at the other place again and the owner's son really was being more obvious than before, but I always mentioned about my boyfriend and pretended everything was perfect (even if it wasn't) because I had already made up that he was the one and whatever problems would be worked out.

There was one last time I noticed something different (his family knew of his feelings towards me) and kept looking at me funny one day and he stopped scheduling me to work with him. Then one day I saw a new girl and asked her who she was and she said... his fiance! Even though I had rejected him repeatedly I was shocked. Part of the reason my logic was even if he did like me he was too young or whatever to be interested in something more serious which was what I was looking for.

The boyfriend I did have ended up being a horrible 3 year karmic relationship, which I still feel the damage from. My old coworker now is married with a few kids and seems quite happy.
I did my crying over that already and even a few years back told him I was sorry for judging him and making assumptions and why I had always rejected him but realize now he is happily married and wished him the best.

I was 100% sure I was over this. I now realize he may have been someone from a past life, actually realized that a while back but all the stones have already been laid out. I made my decisions and came to grips with it years ago. I don't even ever dwell on it anymore. I did check up on him once when his dad died...I don't know how I knew...just did! But that was it. Have been fine living life etc. And then I met my twin flame so figured I would never have met my twin and figured out who I really am if I had gone the other route so it all worked out somehow.

Ok so anyway getting to the dream.

Ok so I dreamed that I was back in that city that I lived in and the ex co-worker was in my life but he was totally different, arrogant etc and I think I was working there again? Or I was just hanging around and I snuck into the boat that we used to work on at night like a stalker something. It was a very wierd dream because that is not like me. I would never do something like that and believed I was over this. I never think about this on my waking days and this is my first dream regarding it at all. Again it's has been 10 or 11 years.

Ok so any thoughts as to what this could mean?

[H:O:R:A:C:E]

there had been a wide vista of possibilities available to you in the past. if you'd
have made different choices, you could've explored areas that you've not had
direct experience of in your current path. it sounds like certain 'dark' impulses
might have been avoided by your having made the choices you've made.
the dream seems to be like a 'final report card' on what you'd missed out on...
not particularly rewarding by the indications.

[LibraIndigo]

Thanks, sounds like that could be it. I wish they or my higher self or whoever didn't have to rub it in though lol.

[H:O:R:A:C:E]

lol. i hadn't envisioned it as 'rubbing it in', but more like a 'whew' feeling
for you not having undergone some of the tribulations you might have.
you apparently found a different way to explore some darker themes,
in that "horrible 3 year" relationship. it seems you've come through into
a much better situation now. that road not taken, long ago, may have
reached a similar conclusion which would've ended at or around this
particular juncture in your life -- hence the dream.