Wholeness

[Ariaecheflame]

Hello,

I am just following on from my post about "reclaiming your life" and the positive results I am experiencing from moving past some of the negative effects that strong connections can sometimes lead to such as co - dependency and obsessive thinking, this is for anyone who may be interested and ready to reclaim their own empowerment.

I am writing as someone who has experienced much trauma as is quite common on this particular path and someone who was subtly manipulated by people, places and things from early on and through many lifetimes to give away my power or my SELF for too long. For many lifetime cycles I kept hopping back into the mud of co-dependency - was addicted to co - dependency... in this lifetime I am finally taking back my own power and soul essence.
I am six years into dealing with the effects of a particular connection, to give you some idea of what stage I am at - I have cleared much personal, family and cultural karma as well as imprints to do with mental health and trauma suffering.
I have also opened up to some of my gifts and am now receiving some insights into my life path, heart path.

So this is a really important phase - of reclaiming my own empowerment, stepping out as a whole being, and being courageous in following my own hearts song.


I have been applying all the steps from my previous thread everyday for a little over a week now.

The struggle of stepping away from those thought patterns of obsession and consequently allowing my energy to escape from me hit the peak on day three - after day three everything started to feel much better.

I am now remembering who I was before I met this person, before I sunk into the depths of my dark night, before I started thinking about ending my life on a daily basis - before depression - before I started repeating the cycle of giving away my power to others.

On the 17 - 8 - 17 my mind came into balance - my thoughts aligned to balance and clarity - I feel much more at peace now - my mind is mostly quiet, no longer placing too many stress hormones into my blood from the constant chatter of obsessive thinking.

The days following I started to feel all my own subtle energy come back to me ( I asked my guides to bring all my displaced energy back to me).

I took back some of the passions in my life which I had deserted because of the pain of the connection (I rejected my love for writing and singing when I rejected the connection years ago).

I am now learning to walk through the world as me - maintaining my energy intact and learning about what is mine and what does not belong to me energetically. I had no idea what my energy actually felt like because I had not felt it for a long time.

I feel much more trusting of myself now - and I am learning again, what it feels like to be supported in a way that does not have any ulterior motives.

With all these wonderful benefits there is also a sense of loss, I will admit but it is only a perceived loss - it is not real. The perceived loss is loss of the connection but the gain is 1000 times better than that loss.

Within my own wholeness there is already everything I need - and rediscovering my own self - who I really am regardless of what projections others have placed on me or what protections I have put up to avoid those things which I truly love about myself.

When I first saw the reflection - I never accepted it because it was too painful. I rejected everything, the good and the bad.

Now - as I come back into my own power - I can accept all those good things about what makes me who I am - they are things which have always been mine, no one can ever take them away unless I allow it to be so.


So, if you are thinking about reclaiming your own power - I understand the fear of loss in doing so but I encourage you to do so and am cheering you on. - I got to a certain point where the fear of not being who you truly am in all my power become a much greater burden than the fear of loosing the connection.

[Ariaecheflame]

anchoring in wholeness and the space between.

Inner balance - where the masc and fem finally harmonise creates space - people call it zero point.

What I have found over my last few days of allowing my own inner balance to settle - for the neutral space of zero point where I stand firm and anchored into my own wholeness is the importance of space.

Space gives strength to you - as an anchored vehicle as the matter in between the space starts to magnetise more and more - the space is where the power and strength grow - and the space also allows self - in wholeness to ground strongly into the earth star.

Space is wonderful, space gives stability, space is freedom and space is where we magnetise the particles of experience towards us. The greater the space - the stronger the force between and the greater we can become in strength.

This is why boundaries are important as well because without boundaries no space can be created otherwise it is just personal energies not being in balance - one is absorbed by the other... it is in the space between the effects of the magnetic force are harnessed.

Wholeness, boundaries and space - The central sun is created within those elements - as I resonate with the golden flame - Christ unity conciousness this information has been placed into my awareness. Looking back I have been drawing pictures of this for many months and writing about it for years before my awakening, before I consciously realised what it was all about.

There is much more to it as well - but for now that is all.

[Nilesh44]

Great post so far. Glad to get it here. :)

[jojobean]

the sense of loss you feel is normal. it's part of the grieving process of letting go of the things you've held onto for so long. You won't feel lost for long. it's just part of the process.

I'm so happy for you finding your own power again. It's been a really slow process for me, but little by little I am also getting there.

I wish you well in your journey and hope you continue to gain back that which you have lost....

[Ariaecheflame]

Originally Posted by jojobean

the sense of loss you feel is normal. it's part of the grieving process of letting go of the things you've held onto for so long. You won't feel lost for long. it's just part of the process.

I'm so happy for you finding your own power again. It's been a really slow process for me, but little by little I am also getting there.

I wish you well in your journey and hope you continue to gain back that which you have lost....

It has been a very slow process for me too, decades in fact and have been trying to get back to some sort of resemblance of who I was once - who I am at the core.

I am so glad that I did not end it all before I had the opportunity to get to this point of self acceptance.

The thing with the connection, is that the person who triggered it - we shared a lot of similarities - but for me - I just rejected the whole lot, good and bad.

I am more angry with myself - I don't feel loss so much as anger...

The loss was felt when I rejected those positive aspects of my own self expression - the real loss was loss of self - it was never about losing a connection it was always about the loss I felt from rejecting my own self and soul expression.

The thing about letting go and reclaiming oneself is that we gain so much more than what we think we will loose.

We must not be too hard on ourselves though - the blessing is the remembering and I am happy that I have been able to remember - and still have plenty of time left to live in wholeness.

I really hope that this part of my story may offer some encouragement to others - for the most part, this is where my real and authentic story begins - and it is now mine to tell.

[Ariaecheflame]

I received a heap of information regarding the great central sun/ golden ray and grid matrix this last day or so. Just outlining 'magnetic attraction' and what happens when energy is drawn in together too fast and what the preferred outcome is. Then I was apparently given a new 'light-body' which has a greater holding pattern for this particular ray of consciousness - LOL... Then I decided to shut down the whole thing, just keeping my own inner space open to carry this golden unity light - consciousness.

I received the information but feel as though I am remaining fairly - unbiased in my opinion of it - I can take it or leave it - I always have the choice to act according to my own needs - the universe provides me with information and I choose what I do with it...

For now - I am just simply writing about it because it is helpful for me to do so.

I was shown just how important the space in between - the vastness of "zero point" is especially at the beginning when one is learning how to hold in the new energy. Then I retracted because it seemed like the most logical thing to do. .. as it is very important for me at this moment to learn to be independent in my own empowerment... and so I am doing what it takes to get to that place.

I requested greater space between and basically gave an ultimatum again lol.

I am giving the universe boundaries too to respect - the universe must respect my needs as well haha - I am drawing up my own boundary lines to everything, every relationship and even my relationship with the universe.

My ultimatum stated that I am only human and will only do as much as I think and feel I want to do - and if something compromises my ability to feel joy - or if it created un - needed burden on my mind, body or spirit than I will not participate.

Service will never entail self sacrifice, if anything it will be a by product of my own inner peace and happiness. I am done serving others before myself... all the religions harp on about how important selfless service is - I am not sure that many get the real message of this but it has certainly been a message to me which has been a great dis-service - perhaps I didn't understand the message and took it to mean literally sacrificing my own identity to serve.

I am exercising my free will to step back. I am finding some of the tools from this recent 'download' useful but... am learning to use them just for myself - I find a lot of comfort and strength in them, but have decided to only use them for myself - I am not an active healer of others and I do not want to be - I am responsible for myself only.

Healing work - even - is done wrong - too many people manage to deplete self even if they ground and work with the energy from higher sources, channelling it through their vessel. With the golden ray - light - it can be directly channelled into your own vessel, it can be capped within your auric fields and carried with you at all times - then healing becomes a by product of who you are without the conscious effort on your part.

By anchoring it within self and to the earth star - even creating boundaries for it within your own field - over time it grows in strength and the result is greater inner harmony and balance - peace and joy.

Nothing else has to be done, healing should be a by product of those efforts in itself.

This is the anchoring of Christ consciousness in self - on your grid- point creating self - sustaining sources of light for others to access.. self sustaining not self depleting.
Golden light consciousness magnetises as well so the more that s created the greater the mass becomes.

Like I said to spirit though - I will not do anything which takes toll on my own mental, physical or spiritual wellbeing I see now that using the golden ray to benefit self is effortless all I have to do is ask and remain grounded and then - all the work is done for me - and as a by product - for the good of all - that's it, I can continue on my path of joy, fulfilment and wholeness.

[Ariaecheflame]

Just to re -affirm -

The 'mission' should not put us out or burden us.

Healing effects can be a by product of our own path to wholeness and the joy and inner harmony and peace which wholeness nurtures.

we can travel our own paths with inner peace and joy and the by product of healing will come naturally as our own inner strength grows.

It can express in many different ways, in what we do, what we create and what we say BUT - it does not have to drain or burden us - This takes a lot of pressure off us AND can be done on our own - it requires nothing else but dedication to our own path to wholeness, peace and happiness.

I am finding this information extremely empowering because I am not required to do or be anything except for what brings me inner peace and harmony - I can still love who I love but first I direct all that love towards self and allow self to express itself as self wants to.

Within discovering ones own harmony - we allow other harmonies to harmonise with us ! LOL

[Ariaecheflame]

Choose self love in every moment

[Ariaecheflame]

Hello,


I am just going to spend a little bit of time talking about freedom and what it means to me and then I will say a little something about TRUE love and trust of self and trusting another.

Freedom: Briefly - freedom is really the choice to choose freedom!

As the heart comes more on board there is a battle between the head and the heart, personally I have two very analytical signs in my chart - my dominant signs are mostly analytical so my mind has been waging quite a war!
- I realised that I was addicted to suffering and that included the suffering of this tf path!. . . Freedom is the key - their isn't a key to freedom - choosing freedom is the key.
At this point - as I consciously decided to get off this suffering rollercoaster and start choosing joy and peace - but because I was addicted to suffering I had to keep going back to my decisions and reminding myself to choose joy and peace in each moment until I re -set the pathways in my mind.

Why was I addicted to the suffering of this path? Partly because I was so lacking trust in the way that my path is unfolding that I was continuing to choose suffering instead of deal with the uncertainty of the path ahead... I have heard also that suffering makes people feel special lol - not so sure about me as suffering is the pattern I learnt in childhood from my parents.

The main point on freedom is that freedom is the choice to choose something other than suffering... perhaps you might choose acceptance, or peace, or joy over suffering - I choose all three when I remember - but it is also the choice to choose to not beat ourselves up when we make a decision to choose suffering over peace - just notice it for next time...

Ok - now for a comment about love and trust - and here things might start to get a bit weird... actually I will make a separate post about Love and trust later.

[Ariaecheflame]

Ok, hello again. . .

I have decided on the direction I am going to take this thread.

What I really want to start talking about are the energetics of it once the stages of karma and clearing have been passed through. . . BUT - I feel that it is not a good idea to proceed with that until after I have gone back in time and given a summery of what the initial stages of clearing looked like - the steps I took to get to this next phase of understanding how a healthy energetic partnership looks and feels.

This is a way for me to share the knowledge I have learnt along the way as well as a way for me to tie up this chapter of the story - in order for me to move into the next phase of my path - more external from the forums and in the world as a more empowered soul.

I have to go back quite a distance in time to summarise and will do my best to remember and outline the key steps it took to get to this phase.

I am going to start by talking about the different templates which I have cleared over the past five years:

Templates which exist culturally, socially, within relationships as well as personally - I found that one layer of clearing tied in clearing of templates across all categories.
So if I was clearing a big template to do with organised religion I was also clearing the templates which went with that lesson socially, personally and within relationships.

The first layer was recognising of self reflected through another- this is the initial trigger via a person who came in to reflect my potential to me... at this stage kundalini was activated but it took quite a while after that to pass through all my chakras because I had major blocks in certain areas - the heart in particular.

This is where I tried to attach love to an external person or circumstance - as a way of feeling love on that level - part of this lesson was also to do with co - dependence within relationships but that lesson came much later. All of the templates shared the same theme of MANIPULATION and imbalanced energy exchange.
Or Disempowerment.

Anyway. . .
This person started who started the awakening process in me by reminding me of my own inner beauty - this is also where I started to wake up to my past - my social and religious upbringing. This is where I started to really understand the teachings of Jesus as a map to our own personal salvation and this is where I became very angry at the church establishment for preaching half - truths... that Jesus is the one true saviour - when in actual fact Jesus was teaching us through his own journey - one particular path in which we can draw insight from and set ourselves free to become our own sovereign beings - with a direct connection to SOURCE.

BUT... at this particular point I was still attaching my heart to another person externally - looking to them for answers which at first was receiving through the connection.

In this stage I tried cutting cords multiple times but he lessons were not done yet.

Through this mirror I was able to heal many relationships and templates with my parents - I came to understand the manipulation of the church and how the church was claiming the power of its members through deceit and preaching fear and suffering.

I also came to understand how media influences us as well - sending people disempowering messages about what our worth is based on as human beings - they too suck our energy away from us - hypnotising many to group think about how self worth is measured... by external factors such as how we look, how we act and what we give our energy to.

I learnt that the first thing these establishments aim to take away from people is their self - expression - they encourage group think and discourage individuality and diversity. I also began to understand how these establishments and society re-enforces the imbalance within the relationship between masculine and feminine and how this disempowers EVERYBODY except those who use these weapons of manipulations to feed off our energy - life force.

I also learnt how SELF EXPRESSION is one of the very last things which we get back on this journey of reintegration. elf LOL typo! Self expression not Elf expression :-) Self expression is how we explore our inner truth... the path to sovereignty.
Elf expression is just a bit of fun at a fancy dress party! LOL

In my next post I will talk about the stages of personal reintegration and this has a lot to do with remembering and honouring the feminine and our place within nature and of earth - this is the rebirth.