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Go Back   Spiritual Forums > Religions & Faiths > Buddhism

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  #1  
Old 11-12-2016, 07:39 PM
alfiewhitnell alfiewhitnell is offline
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I don't think I can do this.

My mom is a strong believer in Buddhism, but we find it so hard together.

We are peaceful people, but myself have very bad anger issues, when I see on my local news when people abuse animals or anything else that makes my blood boil, I know about how we shouldn't judge because we are all effected by how we was raised, but I do deep down really want to hurt these people... I don't think that's ever going to change.

How do people change that? I find it so hard, and I'm close to giving up.
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  #2  
Old 12-12-2016, 02:06 AM
Jeremy Bong Jeremy Bong is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by alfiewhitnell
My mom is a strong believer in Buddhism, but we find it so hard together.

We are peaceful people, but myself have very bad anger issues, when I see on my local news when people abuse animals or anything else that makes my blood boil, I know about how we shouldn't judge because we are all effected by how we was raised, but I do deep down really want to hurt these people... I don't think that's ever going to change.

How do people change that? I find it so hard, and I'm close to giving up.

Hey alfie,

Welcome to SF. Every religion there has rules to follow if anyone thought that he/she is the follower of a religion..... Your mother is a Buddhist that's she will seek ways and hope her children will follow certain teaching of Buddhism.

Even your mother is an atheist she still will follow her own ways to teaching her children. And sometimes it's much depending on her own outlook and habits or behavior to handling family matters. And there's none to be whether she belong to any religion.

You are still young so it's your growing state which is like a sponge anything can be absorbed to become what's you in your future success or failure. Human is a flexible beings they adjust themselves all the time according to the education in school or family education. It can be good or wrong in someway.

As a Buddhist family (your mother) she will teach you to be calm when handling things and polite to others and you have to following that rules then a lot of issues will then easy to pass by. And you have to know the world is making of many good and bad things. When you seek for good then you will become a good person otherwise it will be the opposite way. So good luck my friend.

JB.
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  #3  
Old 12-12-2016, 02:14 AM
shivatar shivatar is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by alfiewhitnell
My mom is a strong believer in Buddhism, but we find it so hard together.

We are peaceful people, but myself have very bad anger issues, when I see on my local news when people abuse animals or anything else that makes my blood boil, I know about how we shouldn't judge because we are all effected by how we was raised, but I do deep down really want to hurt these people... I don't think that's ever going to change.

How do people change that? I find it so hard, and I'm close to giving up.

Buddhism is like guidelines to have a healthy mind. When they say "dont", it's not like doing that thing means you cant be a Buddhist, or doing it makes you a bad Buddhist/false Buddhist. Nope, what it means is there is an effect on your self for having such a thought, and ideally try to not do those things.

I say "purification is for becoming divine and God like", purification comes through doing the 8fold path, living a life of spiritual discipline.
Those who don't purify are not necessarily unworthy or evil, they simply won't benefit from certain things like a calm, clear, and quiet mind as well as emotional control and control over thoughts.
I like to think that not purifying doesn't have any real negative consequences, none that matter, it simply means a little more suffering and a little more difficult journey. For many in this life they have enough comfort and they don't need to purify, for others their suffering is too great and they must purify their mind. I speak of purification in a scientific sense as well as esoteric, a purified mind has better memory, better functioning, more concentration etc. And I assume if I could do a study with ECG's then we could see the "holes" in brain activity, or dead-zones where the brain doesn't light up with activity like it should. In buddhist monks... wow, their ECG are something to behold. It just makes me wonder what they experience on a day to day, it must be amazing, their whole brain is practically lit up like a christmas tree!

Having an angry thought, even for a righteous cause, will lead a person to see their self as angry person. And I don't think people like seeing that in their self, so they feel very bad about it and want to change it. In this way saying "dont", despite being painful, is actually a good thing to say.

----

how to change it? Examine the thought, sit with it, ask the deeper question. Why do I have this thought? What is the purpose of this thought?

-------

For me what helped is realizing that I can't change other people. Even if I was to beat them to a bloody pulp, they would recover (unless I killed them) and they would probably beat animals even more and create more injustice in the world.

that old saying, fight fire with fire, is bull**** when it comes to spirituality. The way is acceptance , let another person be whoever they want to be and let them deal with the repurcussions of their actions.

it doesn't mean stop feeling that pain when you see injustice. It just means do what you can, share a post on facebook, talk to a friend, do whatever you need to do to express the feeling and move on. Dwelling on negative thoughts rarely brings a productive solution.
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  #4  
Old 12-12-2016, 02:41 AM
WuWei WuWei is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by alfiewhitnell
My mom is a strong believer in Buddhism, but we find it so hard together.

We are peaceful people, but myself have very bad anger issues, when I see on my local news when people abuse animals or anything else that makes my blood boil, I know about how we shouldn't judge because we are all effected by how we was raised, but I do deep down really want to hurt these people... I don't think that's ever going to change.

How do people change that? I find it so hard, and I'm close to giving up.

There is no wrong feelings, but I would ask if your hatred for them hurts them or you more?

Nature it's self is brutal, life is not guaranteed good or comfortable to anybody or anything. There is seldom refuge from this reality for most, but those who know that this is the nature of existence, come to start realising that it is them who must cause the peace and the higher way of thinking.

Those people are idiots, who hurt animals. Idiots because they see no higher way of being, and chase along with the moronic thoughts that bubble up in their near absent minds.

The solution to create peace is to remember that nature has never been any different. Animals, Humans even inanimate objects can often be brutal. I would ask you to think of an answer to a question.

How can you best create refuge for the animals, and people who suffer greatly - in a world where it is so certain, and it is the 'neutral' state of things for them to do so?

Your mother's answer to this painful question, is buddhism and it is an effective answer for many.

One thing is certain, you can't create refuge for animals and safety for beings if you can't create it in yourself. You must be able to 'see' when the peace is available, and then with skill - share it in some way. Or you can go into politics and try to have laws enforced to protect animals against cruelty. There are many ways which a clear mind can benefit these animals. I wont say you can live without suffering for them, and with them, but you can make a difference to the situation with a little bit of wisdom, and clarity of mind. Working on experiencing clarity of mind and wisdom in the face of unholdable rage for this animals, would be to recognize that even your rage toward them is based in deep compassion. It is a sign that you are intensely compassionate, and that you care deeply. This is something that may be a reflection of your buddhist Mother's attitude to raising you, and I think it's a great thing for you and one day for those animals.
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  #5  
Old 12-12-2016, 03:19 AM
naturesflow naturesflow is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by alfiewhitnell
My mom is a strong believer in Buddhism, but we find it so hard together.

We are peaceful people, but myself have very bad anger issues, when I see on my local news when people abuse animals or anything else that makes my blood boil, I know about how we shouldn't judge because we are all effected by how we was raised, but I do deep down really want to hurt these people... I don't think that's ever going to change.

How do people change that? I find it so hard, and I'm close to giving up.



Anger can be a driving force of passion to support change in some way or a force that wishes to create more destruction that you are judging as reaction in similar ways.

Can you see the correlation of you and another, the difference is they are hurting an animal, your wishing too, but would you deep down carry through with the reaction. We feel what we feel, but it is important to take control of our more difficult reactions, because acting out and hurting others wont save animals, just make more people angry that you hurt in retaliation. Some will side with you who feel the same way, but ultimately you pay the price of your feelings and not managing them.
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Man has learned how to challenge both Nature and art to become the incitements to vice! His very cups he has delighted to engrave with libidinous subjects, and he takes pleasure in drinking from vessels of obscene form! Pliny the Elder
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  #6  
Old 12-12-2016, 10:31 PM
Dan_SF Dan_SF is offline
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Quote:
... bad anger issues ...
How do people change that?

Only by forgiveness.

You gave us already so much information that is enough, at least for a start, to open your eyes.

Look at this quote:

Quote:
but I do deep down really want to hurt these people

This is a belief, which needs to be undone.
It is the cause , which makes you see:

Quote:
I see on my local news when people abuse animals or anything else

Now you might agree that this is not the case, but ask if God made a perfect world, and perfectness is in everyone and all around you, how can you see such things ?

Somehow, a belief was formed that things, including you, can be harmed. It does not matter when it was formed, but it is the matter of why it is still there.

If you dare to look on the reasoning, you will find out, that it is a very circular :

1.You see something
2.it makes your blood boil
3.you want to punish

The circle continues,because after you gave in to the emotions of the 3rd point, it will come back (at later point in time) with 1st.

The hidden belief behind this whole circle is Guilt. And you will need to undo the Guilt belief, before you can change what you see.

If God created everything perfect, then it must be something, in the way you see it,which is not perfect.
Your eyes, then, are deceiving you.

Edit:What you can do:

Then next time, when you are about to reach the 3rd point, instead to let your blood boil, keep calm. Be silent, and watch it (both,your blood boiling and what you see) without judgement, but with knowingness that this cannot be of God.

If it is helpfull say something in Ho'oponopono way:

"I am sorry, Please forgive me, I love you, Thanks."

Meanwhile It is helpful to listen and try to understand people like Eckard Tolle or Mooji. They can bring you further, if you understand what they mean.
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  #7  
Old 13-12-2016, 03:08 AM
TheMickMack
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Who bears within them enmity:
"He has abused and beaten me,
defeated me and plundered me",
hate is not allayed for them.

Your friend Buddha had the right thought on it...
your anger might have build itself up to the extent to becoming hatred, and it in itself will bind you against your will weighing heavily on your soul.

You have to let go of those thoughts then, even in the sense as to say he hurt these animals or he did that, all beings will live by there karma animal or human, and it will distribute them according to there path.
With these thought of anger and (slash) hatred;.. you will help no other but harm yourself and have it sift through out yourself moulding the world not according to purity, but to viciousness. So my dear friend, i hope you can start thinking differently and put Buddha's words and comments into effect, give up the very act of hatred that is to say, wanting to bash those who bashed others be it animal or human, So to give justice,.. this is not your cause and duty for it will not benefit in karma to good, but towards the bad formulating evil.

“You can search throughout the entire universe for someone who is more deserving of your love and affection than you are yourself, and that person is not to be found anywhere. You yourself, as much as anybody in the entire universe deserve your love and affection.” and again “If you truly loved yourself, you could never hurt another.”
“True love is born from understanding.”

So if you truly want to hurt those who do which harbouring bad karma towards yourself... then you have not yet taken out the plank that is in your own eye, so able to see clearly that as much as you in this entire universe, as well another are in need of your love and love itself.
Circumstances can maybe not have them permitted to be more generous and kind, to other beings or animals; But that is not what we strive for and want for others... knowing that you can start learning that perhaps they need your prayers and help, how they were raised is not known to us altogether, so its our duty to hope for there best, that they urn from such wicked and evil craft of hurting others and animals, and walk on the path of innocence and virtue as well in the precious light of life we all were granted to live on.

Pray for them and yourself to come out of that den, It is said to my knowledge that it takes one to see ie recognize another.. So if you see them, it means perhaps you could have had the same tendency as they had, but you were sheltered by people and karma in this life not to have gone down that path. So rejoice on that note. But be compassionate even to the wrong doers, so to overcome the darkness that tries you at that moment when it did, Be above the evil for our maker, gives us rain just like he gives the wicked one rain. We are all no different wanting to be free, some tho need help, others being in dark places. Think of what might have happened to them for life to turn out that way. And compassion will follow in your tracks.
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  #8  
Old 13-12-2016, 04:50 AM
Silver Silver is offline
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I grew up in the Christian faith, but the past 2 years, I've been studying up on Buddhism and find it very good thing to study and think about what it all means. I want to suggest to you that you read a book - my favorite book on the subject. It's called Old Path White Clouds: Walking in the Footsteps of the Buddha, and it is the Buddha's biography written by Master Thích Nhất Hạnh. It will give you the basics of Buddhism, and I think you will enjoy it. It is a very enchantingly told story and has a lot of heart. You will see your own similarities to the Buddha in it, I think.
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  #9  
Old 13-12-2016, 12:21 PM
Really! Really! is offline
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Stop watching the news ...
Ask your mom for guidance ...
Find fun activities ...
Hang out w/friends ...
Be 16, live life ...
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  #10  
Old 13-12-2016, 08:25 PM
Debrah Debrah is offline
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As a 61 year old vegan woman, I have heard that advice too: 'just don't look at it/stop watching the news, etc' and I don't agree with it and I'll tell you why.

We are put here to evolve, to grow in understanding of ourselves, the choices we make and to become more like our Source/Creator/The All. If I don't watch the horror, if I hide my face from it, eventually I will begin to think that all is good and will forget to be open to growing and changing, will forget to seek growth and change.

If Anita Kranjc had hid her face/not watched the news, she wouldn't be showing up every week at the gates of the slaughterhouse in Toronto to honour and bear witness to the thousands of young pigs that go into that place of hell and death. If she hadn't shown up there to give water to the suffering pigs and to give them a moment of love and to mourn for them, she wouldn't be in court and facing jail time for her compassion. If she hadn't done all these things, she would not have had the chance to bring the savagery of those deaths into the public focus and to possibly inspire other people to care about our fellow sojourners upon this planet.

I think we are here for not only ourselves, but for others. We are all parts of anothers 'tapestry of life' and there are dark threads that give shape to the brightest. If you pull those dark threads away, if you no longer see them, the rest loses it's glory.

If you are thinking of these kinds of things Alfie, then maybe that is a sign that your life will not only see that darkness but will also know great unity with all the creatures of this world and feel the kinship that I think we are meant to know. I understand exactly what you've described, I feel it every day, I feel it in my sleep. But I would not change or take away my grief for a moment until there is nothing to grieve about. And that may not happen for many lifetimes, but I know in my heart, that it means that I'm closer to my Creator because that Creator is in those animals just like It is in me. We are All One.

I've found that I have to find a very delicate point of balance between righteous anger and complete, embracing love and it can be tough. I hope that your mother can help you cope while you are finding your balance in this life.
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