Falling out of love?

I think you even wondering if you should continue with him or not is your answer. Sounds like something just doesnt feel right to you anymore and you have to go with your instincts. Do you feel somewhat obligated to stick around due to his depression, not wanting to hurt his feelings or make him feel more depressed? Sounds like you care for him, like you said your just not in love with him. I understand you not wanting to talk to him about it but it might be best to just get things out in the open with him. I was with someone once and fell out of love and I although I did not want to hurt him I talked to him about because I didnt feel it was fair to him, to continue to be with him when I didnt feel much love for him anymore. I still cared for him, I just wasnt in love anymore. I wanted him to be free to find someone else that would be.

Until a guy finds his place In life he will never be ready. Men have to know and be confident in their future and his title in life in order to feel complete and he obviously isnt motivated which is probably alot of why he might be depressed. He probably would love to move with you but he thinks it will be a burden with no job and all. He should set some goals with a plan to make it happen. and goals dont happen over night. You would have to wait awhile for that and it seems your running out of patience. Maybe he might need a wake up call. But sometimes its to late. But you dont deserved to be miserable with someone thats unhappy. Maybe you should tell him you want a time out so you could
get things done and he could do the same. I did the same and feel out of
love. When I was gone he did anything to get me back. I couldn't imagine ever being able to love him again, but I gave it another shot and I ended up falling more in love than I ever was. I never thought it was possible but I learned anything is possible. I hope you find the best possible solution.. Bless It Be!

Under it all, love in a relationship is about having kids and a future. This theme of "a future" is so much apart of relationships that the entire concept of romance is nothing but this.

Is the flame of love dieing? Then you don't see or care for a future together now do you?

All you need to do to keep the flame alive is to get crazy and just keep coming up with a never ending stream of ideas for things you can do that result with you and "___" being together in the future. "Lets go to a movie", "Lets hang out together", "lets...", "lets...".... "I want (future) to be with you."

Now love itself is made of something else. I find that people have propped "Love" up on a pedestal of "I hope to never understand what love is" so I will not say what it is. Just that if you still have it, then the above is how to keep it burning in a relationship.

If not, you may need to renew it or move on.

[Illumine]

I don't know if anyone else was following this with interest or not but I thought I'd update you all. After much thought I see that although I feel a little disillusioned with the relationship, ultimately it comes down to me and where I want to be headed with my life. I still haven't defined my goals or anything (because that blatantly doesn't happen overnight) but I have spoken to my partner about this all, or tried to explain at least. I explained the difficulties I've been having, my concerns over our ability to actually get together which gives me a lot of doubts about the relationship and such.

I'm going to be starting my Master degree at university on Thursday and it could change a lot of things for me but just for the moment I'm going to wait the relationship out a little longer because I don't want to rush and end it and then find out I made a mistake, I want to be confident in my decision whatever it may be, but I really want to thank you all for your words, it has really helped widen my perspective on everything.

Thank you!

I don't know if you want my two cents, but I'll give it to you anyway ;)

You've been with the guy for two years. People don't generally stay "in love" forever, and the transition from being OH MY GOD I'M SO IN LOVE I CAN HARDLY BREATHE to a more "settled love". Because you don't live on top of each other (if you'll pardon the pun), it sounds like it came as a bit of a shock to you when you met again that those OH WOW feelings were no longer there/as strong.

That's totally normal.

When the first gigantic rush of feelings and hormones and lust fade, we sometimes feel we've lost something. It goes gradually, but as I said, if you don't see each other every day, you notice more... abruptly, I guess.

You're clearly not ready to let him go and I think you should ask yourself the question: "Do I not want to let him go because I don't want to be without him - or do I not want to let him go because I don't want to be without someone?"

We all have soulmates or helpmates they are put into our lives at the time needed they may be in our lives for a moment,a day,a week,or a month its what u get out of the connection.

I think you are lucky that the relationship is only about two years old, rather than, say, 22 years. When a man and woman have been together for a very long time, and they fall out of love, it can be a very sad situation. But then the question needs to be asked, is there a reason the love is gone? Because, yes, when there is no longer that fiery love that occurs when two people first get together, the love should then change into a much deeper love; unless something happened, such as cheating, for one example, which can kill the love. After reading about your situation, and all the discussion that followed, I agree that you've probably grown a part, and now that the sparks have died, there's nothing left. And, because he suffers from depression (which is something very serious) it would be hard to keep a young relationship going, under these circumstances.

I think you will know what to do when the time comes. Sounds like you are moving forward into a whole new beginning with your college, which can open up a bunch of new doors. But just be honest with him so as not to use him, and try to stay friends, if you would like that. That way you won't burn any bridges, in case fate brings you into each other's lives again.

: }}

Oh, and remember, too, you deserve to be happy.

please don't force yourself to do anything. If I were you I would let the relationship go with peace and love...
Everybody deserves to love and to be loved

[Illumine]

I thought it might be worth another update in case anyone was interested...!

It seems my doubts were really trying to tell me something and it got louder and louder as time went on so I ended the relationship early in 2012. It took a long time for him to leave me alone as I had to tread carefully in the hope of not triggering too much in him as he did threaten suicide a couple of times. However I did have this deep inner knowing that there was someone out there for me who was my soulmate. I wrote out all the qualities that person had and would you believe it, he manifested into my life in 2013! And everything I wrote was true, down to the letter. We've been happily married near 4 years now

So I guess my lesson was to trust my intuition and I'm so glad I did. Really did appreciate everyone's thoughts at the time as well because it was a very difficult and lonely time.