Mirroring twin experiment

[Delay_Reaction]

Has anyone tried mirroring their twin and their actions when communication isn't exactly flowing smoothly between the two of you?

Recently I saw my twin post a video clip of an old love song on FB. I then immediately posted one of my own.

She then posted a status update and quoted an inspiration phrase. So I put the exact same quote as my status update, but in a different language.

Afterward she contacted me and said that I posted the exact same status update, to which I cheekily replied "Did I?"

She seemed to like it, though. I felt maybe it could come off as stalker-ish, but she stalks my profile all the time, that's how she knows I did it.

The next day, she asks me a grammatical question about the English
language. I answer her question and she replies with "thank you lovely".

So I decide I will ask her a grammatical question of my own about a language I am currently learning. She replies immediately and I thank her with the exact same response she gave me ( aka. "thank you lovely" ).

We haven't been able to communicate on a personal level recently but she will sometimes do random things like send me messages out of the blue. For example she would wish me a good night when we haven't spoken at all that day.

It kind of irritates me that she would do this but not actually talk to me about anything important.

I noticed that when our communication stagnates, she does these random things as a way to stay in my life.

So I decided i would mirror her. Everything she does from this point forward I will just do back to her, good or bad.

I don't know what else to do this point. I feel like every time she probes into my life, I set myself back in my healing. She just won't go away, even when I tell her to go away.....

[Baile]

Mimicking is what an upset child does to annoy another child. That to me sounds like a dysfunctional response. You need to examine your behaviors, not hers. You're getting annoyed at her for sending you thoughtful "good night" messages. And you're wanting her to "go away." What is that about? What kind of relationship is it, that one partner wants the other to go away? First you complain that she doesn't talk to you all day, then you say you're annoyed that she won't go away. It sounds like your feelings for her are up and down and all over the place. Which is the sign of a relationship that's not very healthy. Of course she would want to stay in your life. That's what partners want and do. And if you don't want her in your life, just tell her. It's seems you're putting all this on her, when it seems you're the one who is upset with the status quo.

[FairyCrystal]

That's not mirroring, that's parroting. Mirroring in a TF relationship is something entirely different.
What you're doing is just childish. A kid who doesn't get his way would do this sort of thing. I don't know what you're trying to achieve with behaving like a child, but it's likely going to irritate the heck out of her at some point. A girl wants a mature man in her life, not someone who behaves like a spoiled child.

[Delay_Reaction]

Originally Posted by Baile

Mimicking is what an upset child does to annoy another child. That to me sounds like a dysfunctional response. You need to examine your behaviors, not hers. You're getting annoyed at her for sending you thoughtful "good night" messages. And you're wanting her to "go away." What is that about? What kind of relationship is it, that one partner wants the other to go away? First you complain that she doesn't talk to you all day, then you say you're annoyed that she won't go away. It sounds like your feelings for her are up and down and all over the place. Which is the sign of a relationship that's not very healthy. Of course she would want to stay in your life. That's what partners want and do. And if you don't want her in your life, just tell her. It's seems you're putting all this on her, when it seems you're the one who is upset with the status quo.

Hmm if I was in a relationship with her, then I'd say it was dysfunctional. But we are not. She wants to be friends or something. I don't know, but it's not helping me at all. It's doing the opposite. It's hurting me.

The story is complicated (just like all of the TF stories here).

My feelings for her are constant. She's the one who is in another relationship. And even when we were having an affair, she still wouldn't break it off with him. I finally decided to take the high road and told her I can't be involved with someone who is involved with someone else.

Yes, I'm pinning this on her as well. I'm completely happy until we see each other, then I just fall apart again. So healing can only happen when we are apart or if she decides that she wants to be with me fully in 3D. I won't accept anything else and why the hell should I?

As for the childish behavior, like I said, there is nothing else left to do. I've tried everything else to strengthen the connection in 3D, but to no avail. I've already played the loving and accepting man. Honestly, I think it's a miracle with the amount of stuff I've put up with over the past 2 years. It's gotten to the point where I simply do not care what I do to her anymore, yet I still care a lot at the same time.

[Delay_Reaction]

Originally Posted by FairyCrystal

That's not mirroring, that's parroting. Mirroring in a TF relationship is something entirely different.
What you're doing is just childish. A kid who doesn't get his way would do this sort of thing. I don't know what you're trying to achieve with behaving like a child, but it's likely going to irritate the heck out of her at some point. A girl wants a mature man in her life, not someone who behaves like a spoiled child.

Great. I hope it does irritate her. An emotional response would be better than "HI". Screw that.

[FairyCrystal]

Originally Posted by Delay_Reaction

Great. I hope it does irritate her. An emotional response would be better than "HI". Screw that.

Yes, trying to upset and hurt someone is true love for sure!
Good luck with that attitude.

[Anne]

To the OP;
I understand what you say here.., a wish to deflect random overtures on her part after you stated the need to take the high road and get away from her and her boyfriend.
Since you are hurting, it is paramount you put your needs first.
You need not feel like second best, and if anyone's behavior is childish in this instance, it's hers...
My advice would be to ignore those texts, and don't buy into the 'friend' stuff.

[Ghost_Rider_1970]

While I really do feel for you, mimicking isn't mirroring, where to me this paragraph also gives you your answers:

My feelings for her are constant. She's the one who is in another relationship. And even when we were having an affair, she still wouldn't break it off with him. I finally decided to take the high road and told her I can't be involved with someone who is involved with someone else.

My advice is that you should only consider being with someone who wants to be with you for who you are with equity and equality. So maybe your best option is to walk away and wish her all the love and happiness the Universe can give her and have an open heart in all you do

[Inika]

That is not mirroring.

I do something hypocritical (unconsciously) and then see my TF do or say something hypocritical and point my finger at him to make him aware.

the TF has now made you aware of it in yourself. its in them, its in you. now its been mirrored you can work on it or ignore it. and continue to point the finger at the mirror.

What you're doing is playing games. Games to get reactions you want. No one talks anymore and communicates what they want? DO we fear rejection so much we lower to game playing level? Think about what you're doing and why Delay and see if you can spot the ego voice.

[FallingLeaves]

Originally Posted by Anne

To the OP;
I understand what you say here.., a wish to deflect random overtures on her part after you stated the need to take the high road and get away from her and her boyfriend.
Since you are hurting, it is paramount you put your needs first.
You need not feel like second best, and if anyone's behavior is childish in this instance, it's hers...
My advice would be to ignore those texts, and don't buy into the 'friend' stuff.

everyone seems to think this is easy, to just walk away when the other won't let you go. it is not easy, it is darned hard. What you are doing is asking the equivalent of a small framed child to lift the front end of a car. Your platitudes just don't work in reality.