The Power of Forgiving

[Xan]

THE POWER OF FORGIVING

"To forgive is to set a prisoner free, and discover the prisoner was you." - Lewis B. Smedes


It is common knowledge that old grudges, incomplete grieving, long-standing anger, resentment, fear and anxiety, guilt, self-doubt and self-blame and a sense of unworthiness have harmful effects on our health, well being, creative self-expression, relationships, and our ability to love and be loved.

Repetitive patterns of conscious and unconscious negative emotions eat away at our immune systems, and make us mistrustful and overly self-protective in relationships… and hinder the discovery of our true spiritual nature.

Even so, many people do not realize that their symptoms, problems and blockages have roots in one simple thing: Lack of forgiveness.


In order to be fully present - to be aware, accepting and responsive in the reality of this moment’s situation - and further, to be aware in the wholeness of Being - we must become able to let go of the lingering pain and conflict, and constricting beliefs we are carrying from the past.

Forgiving yourself and others heals and frees you and can bring changes in your life you could never have imagined.


When you decide want to be free of the past, and recognize it’s time to forgive in order to go ahead in your present life and future, understand this:

* Forgiveness does not mean what was done is okay with you now. It simply means you want to no longer carry with you the hurt and resentment, blame and shame from the past.

* You do not need to understand ‘why’ the behavior happened in order to let it go, and often we truly cannot know. Giving up this idea will help you move into willingness to forgive.

* Forgiving is not from weakness, as some people believe, but from the strength of choosing the direction of your life away from victimhood… including being victim to your own pain and negativity.

* Honesty is important in forgiving… honestly admitting within yourself what you felt and still feel… and honestly acknowledging any part you may have had in what happened.

* You may not feel ready to completely let go and forgive, but perhaps you could be willing to forgive.

* To be through and most effective you should put yourself on a forgiveness program… to release the most obvious memories first, and then continue clearing through any and all memories, people, events and situations that hold anything other than neutral acceptance for you.

* Forgiving yourself may be more difficult than forgiving others, but is essential in getting free of the conscious or unconscious self-judgment and self-rejection that are obstacles to a healthy and fulfilling life.


“Forgiveness may be the greatest virtue on earth, and certainly the most needed.” - Gordon B Hinkley

FORGIVENESS PROCESS

Rather than working to forgive a person - which is quite a broad subject - it’s more effective to choose a memory of an event with the person, or one event in a series that were similar.

1. Begin by breathing down in your lower belly for several minutes, and notice where in your body you feel the emotion or discomfort or tension the most. Simply acknowledge and accept the feeling as it is now.

2. Place one hand on the crown of your head and the other palm on the heart center of your chest for the whole treatment. (These hand positions connect with many meridians - energy flows - throughout the body.)

3. Run a movie of this event in your mind, from the beginning to the end of it, while you continue to breathe in your belly… simply watching.

4. Repeat running the movie while you affirm in yourself, “I am letting go of all pain and hurt, all anger, frustration, helplessness, sadness, fear and guilt remaining from this time, in all aspects of my being.”

Use the Releasing Breath as you watch the movie this time, to make sure you are not pushing the feelings away, but simply feeling a letting go.

Releasing Breathing is inhaling through your nose and exhaling through your slightly open lips… like a gentle sigh.

5. Run the movie scene a third time while you affirm in yourself, “I deeply accept and forgive “ name ” or “myself” or “everyone who was part of this happening.”

Breathe deeply into the feeling… of letting go… of accepting and forgiving… for several minutes.


Forgiving cannot be forced but it can be allowed.

The sign that you have completely forgiven is a sense of relief or release, of openness and acceptance about it all, a sense of completion, a feeling of gratitude. The memory will still be there but without the discomfort or resentment you once had.

If any negative emotion or tension remains about this event or issue repeat steps 4 and 5 of the forgiving treatment. Or notice if another memory has shown up and treat that one through all the steps.

If a released memory happens to appear again later with any negative emotion, simply realize there must be more to forgive and go through the steps.

Letting go of the past will take time and persistence to really become free, but you will find it is well worth the effort.


Note: Some people need to forgive God, even if they no longer believe in what they were taught. If you sense you are resenting God or your childhood or later religion for any reason don’t try to figure it out, just go ahead with the Forgiveness Process.



“Forgiveness is not so much about the other person as it is about our own hearts.” - Lynette J. Hoy



blessings,
Xan