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Go Back   Spiritual Forums > Spirituality & Beliefs > Soulmates & Twin Flames

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  #41  
Old 04-10-2017, 06:32 PM
7luminaries 7luminaries is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Gem
As a muggle I represent the majority of folk who 'haven't experienced it' - 'it' being a thing defined, a sort of psychic paradigm, but most of us have relationships which entail a strong connection at some time in our lives, anyway, as this is what people tend to do. It is a big drama for everyone and there no special struggle for an exclusive set of 'twin flames'. Hence, what might seem woo-woo is actually quite the norm. Not that the norm is any less profound, wonderful or melodramatic - just that there are no 'special cases', so to speak.

There's a lot of truth here. There's also a lot of truth IMO from at least some folks who pretty distinctly detail a very close soul bond that is simply not the norm, as you've said.

The soul bond described speaks to an unconditional ("agape" or authentic) soul love which has always existed on the ground in society between beloved family and beloved friends, but which is extremely rare on the ground in society between men and women and has never been the norm between men and women, ever. Due to extreme imbalances in society, culture, religion, and plain physicality. Where the power-over hierarchy could and generally has been easily and brutally be enforced over the millennia.

So, I do understand why this concept of men and women soul friends (the Celts called this Anam Cara) is perceived as potentially something special. Not because this situation SHOULD be unusual...but in fact because it IS so extremely unusual.

Even in theory, it is hard for many to describe or articulate either of the following occurring in the real world: 1) men and women coming to know and authentically love one another as people and as beloved friends without any objectification, exploitation, or discrimination -- purely platonically, and 2) for the rare and deeply honoured partnership commitment that would be made between two people of honour, that men and women would commit to one another within the authentically loving context of #1.

IMO these SHOULD be normative and commonplace in relationships within societies where men and women live in social, cultural, economic, political (etc) parity and equity. But it is not the case yet and never has been.

Society is replete with a fundamental misogyny and with many forms of discrimination. Even still, in our imperfect societies, we typically understand intellectually that lovingkindness is how we should treat other individuals, yet when we look to opposite-gender relationships, modern society makes a huge exception and actively advocates not lovingkindness nor honour but rather that we openly treat one another as less than human and take a dehumanising, utilitarian approach -- something that certainly leaves no room for honour and authentic love. The fact that we continue to apply a "special exclusion" to bringing lovingkindness into the foundation and structure of male-female relationships speaks to the enormity of the task ahead of us.

Having said all that, at this current time...sadly...I don't see that most of these Anam Cara close soul bonds between men and women lead to successful on-the-ground beloved friendships or partnerships, however, for all the reasons mentioned. Because first and foremost, we each need to transform our own hearts and minds...and then collectively those of our societies. IMO we must first transform ourselves and likewise our societies, before we could actualise #1 and #2 personally in our lives, much less on any kind of normative scale. I suppose these Anam Cara bonds bring to mind the simple and universal truth that we are of authentic love and thus it is our nature. It is who we are at centre.

And in that regard, the more reminders we have of the need to transform this core aspect of society, the better. Thus, I think we all need to be challenged as to what are these Anam Cara bonds saying to us as individuals and as society when they are male-female? That ALL people, in all situations, should be treated with lovingkindness. With right action, with honour and with profound respect.

...AND that male-female relationships and partnerships are a particularly huge area of denial and often conscious blindness, in this regard, having never been normatively founded on lovingkindness, continuing up through the present day. Where now many in fact openly and consciously choose utilitarian exploitation of others or of one another, and call it normative and (therefore) "good" and "right".

Peace & blessings
7L
__________________
Bound by conventions, people tend to reach for what is easy.

Here we must be unafraid of what is difficult.

For all living beings in nature must unfold in their particular way

and become themselves despite all opposition.

-- Rainer Maria Rilke

Last edited by 7luminaries : 04-10-2017 at 08:19 PM. Reason: grammar...
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  #42  
Old 04-10-2017, 09:12 PM
Ariaecheflame Ariaecheflame is offline
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Awesome words 7Illuminaries
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  #43  
Old 05-10-2017, 05:54 AM
Ariaecheflame Ariaecheflame is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by psychegrl
I've been in my experience for 2 years now and only recently come to terms (mostly) with the idea that I'm not insane. It took one year of him haunting me, 2 people confirming and another 6 months to finally get on a forum to talk about it!

But now that I'm accepting, there is few people who are even into the woo woo stuff and those I did confide to told me that it probably wasn't TF but just a soul mate/lesson. Kinda supportive but dismissive.

So at first I didn't share because I was crazy and now I don't because everyone will think I am.

Anyone have any good stories were others supported you?


Thanks
Love and light ♡

Going on six years!!! Into my journey now lol... feels crazy to say that!

I met the catalyst almost 6 years ago.

I only just 'came out' of thd TF closet this June!

I told the forum first... because I wanted to share the specific energetics I was experiencing and no one else seemed to be saying much about the energetic aspects... the three fold flame... (the third energy) and how to get to 'neautral point' both internally and within union... stuff like that.
I then told my sister... and then the husband Haha. Haven't as of yet told many others... but am opening up to including it as part of authentic self expression. Kind of hard to avoid now anyway. Probably won't use the term Tf's though... keep a chilled out vibe.

Telling my husband was the scariest even though we have known each other for 16 years!

I had a few beers for courage... then true to my style I started rambling on about dark energy gravity and anti gravity the big bang, magnets lol... he loves magnets and I even mentiined God... (we are both athiests)...
Then he told me he knew I had a secret and I blurted out the whole notion of twin flames and then became completely embarrassed.

He doesn't say much or have extremely overwhelming emotions lol... he just smiled and repeated what I said... with a grin.
Since then he has been opening up little by little and connecting with his higher self... and I am just chilling out, kicking back and connecting to source love and enjoying the benefits from being connected

I just got to this point... where I had to be fully me and I had to be honest when expressing all of who I am...
I kept getting nudged to open up... even though I was scared that i had gone insane. Lol

It is only now - that I have fully grounded into the truth of my being that I can open up... share... I do not always use terms like twin flames depending on who I am speaking to.

I think once the lessons from the path integrate it becomes so much a part of who you are - that it becomes impossible not to share from that authentic space.

The intergration... is the spirit and body absorbing the new templates... once the old ones are cleared and transmuted... and then we carry the knowledge of the new templates within our cells.

And then the expression of this... happens naturally as a result of this process... and so... it becomes quite difficult to NOT express ourselves in this way... it's in the DNA lol
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  #44  
Old 05-10-2017, 08:17 AM
Gem Gem is online now
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-------------------
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  #45  
Old 05-10-2017, 08:31 AM
Gem Gem is online now
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Quote:
Originally Posted by 7luminaries
There's a lot of truth here. There's also a lot of truth IMO from at least some folks who pretty distinctly detail a very close soul bond that is simply not the norm, as you've said.

The soul bond described speaks to an unconditional ("agape" or authentic) soul love which has always existed on the ground in society between beloved family and beloved friends, but which is extremely rare on the ground in society between men and women and has never been the norm between men and women, ever. Due to extreme imbalances in society, culture, religion, and plain physicality. Where the power-over hierarchy could and generally has been easily and brutally be enforced over the millennia.


I guess in the instutional organisation of mating, based in a gendered paradigm of men and women which is different to real physical sex, the notion of coupling because we're 'in love' is quite novel - and we may pretend we a driven by this sentiment, but really we're concerned with education level, social status, wealth and other social constructs that we have 'in common'. It is sensible, after all, to strike a balance between affection and practicality, otherwise it won't 'work'. Indeed, marriages are more stable in cultures that have arrangements of agreement or permission between family groups than they are in cultures that value isolated choosing individuals.

Quote:
So, I do understand why this concept of men and women soul friends (the Celts called this Anam Cara) is perceived as potentially something special. Not because this situation SHOULD be unusual...but in fact because it IS so extremely unusual.

Hmmm, I don't see it as unusual at all. I meet many who I'm 'soul connected' with, but that doesn't imply we'll have a close relationship in any day to day sense, and I experience no obsessed or overwhelming emotions over it.

Quote:
Even in theory, it is hard for many to describe or articulate either of the following occurring in the real world: 1) men and women coming to know and authentically love one another as people and as beloved friends without any objectification, exploitation, or discrimination -- purely platonically, and 2) for the rare and deeply honoured partnership commitment that would be made between two people of honour, that men and women would commit to one another within the authentically loving context of #1.

IMO these SHOULD be normative and commonplace in relationships within societies where men and women live in social, cultural, economic, political (etc) parity and equity. But it is not the case yet and never has been.

Society is replete with a fundamental misogyny and with many forms of discrimination. Even still, in our imperfect societies, we typically understand intellectually that lovingkindness is how we should treat other individuals, yet when we look to opposite-gender relationships, modern society makes a huge exception and actively advocates not lovingkindness nor honour but rather that we openly treat one another as less than human and take a dehumanising, utilitarian approach -- something that certainly leaves no room for honour and authentic love. The fact that we continue to apply a "special exclusion" to bringing lovingkindness into the foundation and structure of male-female relationships speaks to the enormity of the task ahead of us.

Yes, most social arrangements discourage affection in the sense of proper workplace relations, and so much of this world is purely practical that we see people entirely isolated in the most advanced and densely populated populations.

Quote:
Having said all that, at this current time...sadly...I don't see that most of these Anam Cara close soul bonds between men and women lead to successful on-the-ground beloved friendships or partnerships, however, for all the reasons mentioned. Because first and foremost, we each need to transform our own hearts and minds...and then collectively those of our societies. IMO we must first transform ourselves and likewise our societies, before we could actualise #1 and #2 personally in our lives, much less on any kind of normative scale. I suppose these Anam Cara bonds bring to mind the simple and universal truth that we are of authentic love and thus it is our nature. It is who we are at centre.


Yes, we are essentially loving... even though there is a lot of hatred and greed in people's emotional conditions, so we have to get past these distractions and come to peace with ourselves just as we are. That's the challenge, really, innit.

Quote:
And in that regard, the more reminders we have of the need to transform this core aspect of society, the better. Thus, I think we all need to be challenged as to what are these Anam Cara bonds saying to us as individuals and as society when they are male-female? That ALL people, in all situations, should be treated with lovingkindness. With right action, with honour and with profound respect.

Sure, everyone has to be regarded with high dignity and respect.

Quote:
...AND that male-female relationships and partnerships are a particularly huge area of denial and often conscious blindness, in this regard, having never been normatively founded on lovingkindness, continuing up through the present day. Where now many in fact openly and consciously choose utilitarian exploitation of others or of one another, and call it normative and (therefore) "good" and "right".

Peace & blessings
7L

It is rare to find ones who don't want anything, in the sense of loving kindness, to be giving without expecting anything in return.
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  #46  
Old 05-10-2017, 09:26 AM
A human Being A human Being is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by emeraldheart
... he loves magnets...
Well I mean, who doesn't love magnets..?



(Though in all seriousness, it's great to hear that you've felt able to open up more about your TF experiences )
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  #47  
Old 05-10-2017, 01:40 PM
7luminaries 7luminaries is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Gem
I guess in the instutional organisation of mating, based in a gendered paradigm of men and women which is different to real physical sex, the notion of coupling because we're 'in love' is quite novel - and we may pretend we a driven by this sentiment, but really we're concerned with education level, social status, wealth and other social constructs that we have 'in common'. It is sensible, after all, to strike a balance between affection and practicality, otherwise it won't 'work'. Indeed, marriages are more stable in cultures that have arrangements of agreement or permission between family groups than they are in cultures that value isolated choosing individuals.



Hmmm, I don't see it as unusual at all. I meet many who I'm 'soul connected' with, but that doesn't imply we'll have a close relationship in any day to day sense, and I experience no obsessed or overwhelming emotions over it.



Yes, most social arrangements discourage affection in the sense of proper workplace relations, and so much of this world is purely practical that we see people entirely isolated in the most advanced and densely populated populations.



Yes, we are essentially loving... even though there is a lot of hatred and greed in people's emotional conditions, so we have to get past these distractions and come to peace with ourselves just as we are. That's the challenge, really, innit.
[/color][/b]


Sure, everyone has to be regarded with high dignity and respect.



It is rare to find ones who don't want anything, in the sense of loving kindness, to be giving without expecting anything in return.
Gem, agreed it's rare in the case in male-female relationships. It is not particularly rare to love others authentically or with lovingkindness (i.e., willing and seeking the highest good of the other simply as other, and for no other reason) if they are your child, parent, beloved family, or beloved friend. That holds even if they are not kind or good to you.

Specifically, it is rare for male-female adult non-familial relationships, whether friendship OR partnership. It's a tough call as to which is rarer...an authentically loving male-female friendship (because very few on the ground to examine) OR an authentically loving partnership (because partnerships are many but almost none are mutually authentically loving).

We may find that not all familial or friendship connections are authentically loving, but nearly all of us have experienced some of that some of the time, in these other bonds. It's the male-female non-familial relationships that are so particularly either oppressive and brutal for most women (in some cultures), or else particularly exploitative and degraded (in the West), and in either sense dehumanising and not at all conducive to authentic love / lovingkindness, nor to honour, dignity, respect, and right action more generally.

If you find you have an Anam Cara soul bond with many adult non-familial women, and one or more is a close friend or partner on the ground in your day-to-day life in a context of a manifest mutually authentic love, then you are far and away on the leading edge of humanity, and you should be sharing a lot more often IMO! Or maybe I misunderstood you?

Peace & blessings
7L
__________________
Bound by conventions, people tend to reach for what is easy.

Here we must be unafraid of what is difficult.

For all living beings in nature must unfold in their particular way

and become themselves despite all opposition.

-- Rainer Maria Rilke

Last edited by 7luminaries : 05-10-2017 at 06:17 PM.
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  #48  
Old 05-10-2017, 02:06 PM
Clover Clover is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Gem
I guess in the instutional organisation of mating, based in a gendered paradigm of men and women which is different to real physical sex, the notion of coupling because we're 'in love' is quite novel - and we may pretend we a driven by this sentiment, but really we're concerned with education level, social status, wealth and other social constructs that we have 'in common'. It is sensible, after all, to strike a balance between affection and practicality, otherwise it won't 'work'. Indeed, marriages are more stable in cultures that have arrangements of agreement or permission between family groups than they are in cultures that value isolated choosing individuals.



Hmmm, I don't see it as unusual at all. I meet many who I'm 'soul connected' with, but that doesn't imply we'll have a close relationship in any day to day sense, and I experience no obsessed or overwhelming emotions over it.



Yes, most social arrangements discourage affection in the sense of proper workplace relations, and so much of this world is purely practical that we see people entirely isolated in the most advanced and densely populated populations.



Yes, we are essentially loving... even though there is a lot of hatred and greed in people's emotional conditions, so we have to get past these distractions and come to peace with ourselves just as we are. That's the challenge, really, innit.
[/color][/b]


Sure, everyone has to be regarded with high dignity and respect.



It is rare to find ones who don't want anything, in the sense of loving kindness, to be giving without expecting anything in return


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  #49  
Old 05-10-2017, 06:35 PM
7luminaries 7luminaries is offline
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LOL ...well I disagree that it is rare to find folks who don't want anything whilst giving lovingkindness to others. Lovingkindness or authentic love, freely given, is actually quite common to many types of relationships but extremely rare in other relationships.

Meaning, even though it is not always present all the time etc., there are definitely key relationships in most folks lives -- at least a few key ones -- where folks have regularly and continually experienced authentic love (given and received) from others. Or have received it at least sometimes from some people.

Meaning, it is commonly received from parents, from children, from beloved family, and from beloved friends. And likewise it is commonly given by many if not most folks to some or all of these folks in return. At least from/to some of them, some of the times.

But where authentic, agape love is regularly and persistently missing is in male-female adult non-familial relationships. It has never been present historically worldwide, and nor is it in the current day...unless very rarely, the stuff of poets and gurus.

BUT...it does not have to be this way. The moment the heart opens to authentic love and lovingkindness, we can bring this love into every moment and to every person, in any kind of relationship. Including male-female adult non-familial relationships.

It is one of humanity's greatest current challenges, to bring authentic love as a normative and commonplace way of being to male-female relationships. And it is a challenge that perhaps more than any other has the potential to greatly transform humanity and its current state of consciousness. And to then continually generate and manifest authentic love into all other aspects of our existence.

Peace & blessings
7L
__________________
Bound by conventions, people tend to reach for what is easy.

Here we must be unafraid of what is difficult.

For all living beings in nature must unfold in their particular way

and become themselves despite all opposition.

-- Rainer Maria Rilke
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  #50  
Old 05-10-2017, 07:35 PM
Ariaecheflame Ariaecheflame is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by A human Being
Well I mean, who doesn't love magnets..?



(Though in all seriousness, it's great to hear that you've felt able to open up more about your TF experiences )


Well, I don't believe in magnets hahaha.... can't love something ya don't believe in LOL

That was actually a vague quote from a TV show... I watched 5 minutes before I read your comment!!

In all seriousness though - that comment cracked me up!
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