Quote:
Originally Posted by Fire7
Actually, my mother is very kind to homosexual people. She works around them. she works for the health department as a counselor, and does STD tests and classes. She grew up with them. And check this out; she used to be one herself.
where her kindness ends is where her religion begins. She is a minister, and says that when god "delivered" her from that "spirit," he put in her a hatred and disgust for the "lifestyle." I hear many "Ex-homosexuals" say this...that once they connected with God, they received His desires, as well as dislikes...hence my ex-friend who snapped on me (desribed in my "It Hurts so much" thread). My mother has come home many-a-times frustrated with her job, because she can't preach in her classes like she wants to. She knows how to treat people and be polite, but she does not agree with the "sin."
I didn't actually come out to her. I knew better than that. Someone outed me to her. It was actually a letter they found and gave to her... which lead her to the conclusion that I was being "sneaky." ...
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Perhaps your mother will at some point move into showing you the compassion she shows other homosexuals to you. It is unfortunate that she relates to a god that encourages her to have such ‘hatred and disgust for the lifestyle.’
Soooooo many have moved past a god that is based in this ‘hatred and disgust for the lifestyle‘ to a god of love that accepts EVERYONE.
I think this revelation about your mother being a minister & having a really archaic intolerant view based in hate may be shedding light on why you’re having trouble praying.
How could you feel comfortable w/ this version of god??????? Of course you couldn’t. & shouldn’t. You’re likely listening to your inner wisdom that is telling you that this isn’t OK.
It is your mother’s view of god that is out of whack, not god who is out of whack. Even in my very religiously conservative portion of the US, the Bible Belt, many pastors have moved out of the hateful god rhetoric into more of a god of love.
You can make the decision to have your own separate beliefs, just as many others have done.
You weren’t being ‘sneaky’ to your mother to live your life in the way that you found appropriate. You were just being private as you knew this would be something that would be difficult for your mother.
It’s OK to be private about these issues. I’m sorry that your mother chose to use this hurtful language w/ you. This is her issue though. She can percolate in hate, but this doesn’t mean that you have to take in her hateful energy.
It’s great that the public health officials AREN’T allowing your mother to preach in their classes. It shows that she is being very pushy to want to foist her beliefs on others, being unwilling to realize that other lifestyles are out there.
She obviously doesn’t have an appreciation that her personal religious beliefs aren’t appropriate to cross the boundary to her secular job. It would be
horribly predatory behavior that would be
incredibly offensive for those going to a public health unit to get help to be subjected to a sermon about how their lifestyle is sinful. This would be more than enough to keep many from seeking assistance.
That other ex-homosexuals have this hatred for their ex-lifestyle is only a certain % of them.
There are ex-gays that have no hatred of other gays or their lifestyle, just viewing all of this as a choice. Some people are bisexual & view either way as OK. There are many gays as well as non-gays that are completely OK w/ those who have a same sex orientation.
Much of the US has moved past this woefully outdated view that same sex people are sinners or living a lifestyle to be hated into giving same sex oriented couples official marriage rights. Move into appreciating how much support for this has to occur for these laws to be changed.
It sounds like you’re around some really, really conservative religious types, including your immediate family who have the view that few have now of a
hateful god. Under your post, ‘I find it impossible to pray’ I’ve posted some information about organized religions that are very welcoming of same sex oriented folks. I’m not trying to proselytize, as I’m not into any of the organized religions, but if you prefer to have an organized religion as part of your spiritual beliefs
there are organized religions who aren’t negatively judgmental about same sex orientation. You can explore these & even join another faith w/o discussing this w/ your mother or those who would spew their hate about this.
You might find it empowering in many ways to explore faiths that don’t consider same sex orientation a sin. ✥✥✥
Being gay or lesbian IS NOT A sin. ✥✥✥
God IS NOT a hater. ✥✥✥ Even if there isn’t a gay-friendly congregation in your immediate area, perhaps you can find a service that is online or at least teachings that don’t make you feel like damaged goods.
Actively move into connecting w/ others who consider their same sex orientation to be just as normal as those who have a natural sexual orientation for the opposite sex. There are many gay forums on the Internet & probably forums for religions that support gays & lesbians where you could begin to appreciate that there are many other views than those of what seem to be the extremely religiously conservative intolerant people around you. There’s a whole world of people out there who support you. FEEL their supportive energy.
Don’t hesitate to matter-of-factly stop people when they begin anti-gay blather & tell them to can it. Resist the urge to mirror back any of their anger as this gives them power over you.
I wouldn’t recommend trying to use logic w/ them. Just let them know they aren’t allowed to spew their hate at you. You aren’t obligated to subject your self to their prejudicial rants. If you can’t leave, at least mentally turn them off. You probably can’t change them, but
YOU CAN CHANGE HOW YOU REACT to what is their judgmental anti-gay rhetoric. Anyone that continues to try to push their view on you once you’ve told them you’re not interested is being
RUDE, RUDE, RUDE. They can be told they are being totally inappropriate & rude.
Move into being empowered & appreciating that you don’t have to put up w/ this. Then stop putting up w/ it.