Insect bite on right wrist

I had a very very long dream. However the ending part was very disturbing. There was a gathering at a neighbor's house. I was talking to some children who seemed to be from the school I went to- as they were wearing our school uniform.Those faces were all new to me though. They were small girls of 6-8 years old. As I was talking to them I saw some insect of yellow color right below my wrist and I quickly removed it. I haven't seen one like that in my real life. After removing the insect, the skin in the area started to tear off, going deeper,then started to bleed little by little. My dad came and wrapped a white cloth around my hand and we went looking for a taxi to get to the hospital soon.Taxis in my country are rickshaws like in India. Dad took a different rickshaw and now I am with my mom looking for another rickshaw. There were a couple of rickshaws but they didn't want to come - this is what actually happened once when my mom fell at home and broke her wrist and leg. I went out looking for a taxi but they didn't agree to come and help.

We were looking for rickshaws, begging them to get us to the hospital.Nobody came. And then we decided to walk, as I was walking I remembered the first aid we could have tried. To squeeze out the blood,to keep my arm above my heart. It seemed like it was too late.Now the hand has started to bleed from another place. I was afraid that the doctors will decide to cut my right arm. I noticed my hand becoming slightly blue. Somewhat similar to my moms wrist when her bandaid was removed.

Now it has started to rain and the time seemed like 7.30-8 because it was dark getting darker . We didn't have umbrellas.A rickshaw was passing by, the driver was a small girl wearing a uniform of the school next to the school I went to, there were 2-3 such girls inside and they said they cant give us a lift,We continued to walk, I knew we were not gonna make it..I assumed I was gonna die. I felt that is okay.

Yesterday dad came home after a retirement party of his friend. After 5-6 years my dad will have to retire too,He was worried about how our finances are gonna be after that.I am still doing my studies. Dad has taken 2-3 loans, our house is under construction. It seemed like a nightmare to me. And before going to sleep I was telling my parents the best thing I can do right now is to go to the Kingdom of Jesus ( I meant about suicide but I know that suiciding will only take me to hell) My mom was giving me advices as usual,
"suicide is not the answer" etc etc

Back to the dream.As I was walking to hospital I knew I was not gonna make it , now the hand has started to tingle and I was okay to even die.I was ready. I kinda wanted to .so it was okay.
I started confessing to mom who was walking behind me, I said sorry for being rude to her, I said sorry for arguing with her etc and I was in so so much tears. And then I woke up, I was very much happy to know it was only a dream.

I have to add that ,yesterday I read few articles about insects in the morning.So the insect idea was already there in my mind.

What was this all about? What I feel is that just another reflection of the thoughts in my mind, anxiety deep within and general things happening in my real life.

[H:O:R:A:C:E]

there's a lot in there, so i'll just focus on a few things to keep it concise.
that the rickshaws won't help you here is saying that you've got all the tools
you need to resolve this issue on your own [unlike the real life event in which
your mom hadn't received needed aid].
the whole scene is a culmination of forces set into play when you were a
young schoolchild, and it'll be completed as you finish your studies, which
i'm guessing is due before your dad's retirement is scheduled.
i tend to think of 'spirit' as male-oriented, and 'will' as female-oriented.
when the spider incident occurred, your father [spirit energy] sought to
provide you with what you'd needed, and then took a separate taxi to
meet you at hospital. for reasons unknown to me, the taxi he'd procured
for you is unavailable, and you're left with your mother [will energy] to
make your way to the place which will provide you with healthy recovery.
i tend to think of the right side as the 'active principle' (since most people
are right-handed), and the left as the 'passive principle', which allows
things to unfold without directing them. usually, spirit correlates to 'active'
and will to 'passive'... so, in this dream, your active principle, the spirit
which informs your actions, has been damaged, and the father energy has
gone absent. you are left alone, with your passive will energy. to make
things right. your mother lags behind you somewhat, leaving you to
lead the way [with whatever latent spiritual impetus informs you].
that the wound has caused the skin to flake off, and caused blood to flow,
is suggesting that you're getting down to the bones... the basic structuring
of your 'active principle'. what is it that gives you your drive to do anything?
imo, the primary function of spirit is to empower will... the active principle
is properly set into the service of [loving] will.
your dream was about realizing the course of action you've been undertaking
since your early days of beginning school. you were specifically denied access
to another school's rickshaw, since you're not needing to 'start again' on a
new curriculum.
it was a dream about your own empowerment, and a testing of what you've
come to believe about how/why life unfolds in the ways it does.