The Law of Negative Attraction

[WabiSabi]

Originally Posted by The Necromancer

Thank you for saying that. It makes sense.

Lets say I have been pessimistic from a very early age due to trauma or something that happened in my childhood (like being raised by paranoid schizophrenic parents).

Let's say that my neuro plasticity has now become so rigid, that new neural pathways can't be formed.

Let's say that negativity is something that was ingrained in my psyche since birth, basically.

How does one learn to be optimistic? Is optimism a thing that can be taught like maths and science?

One's personality is basically conditioned response. Asking a person to change their personality/habits/etc. is basically akin to asking an abused child to not flinch when you raise your hand around them. It is certainly possible, but it requires a lot of work and dedication. It is very, very hard to change yourself simply because you want to. That is why there are paths such as Christianity. By identifying as a Christian, by having a like-minded community to aid you, and by having a role model such as Jesus that you can emulate, it makes it easier to change. This is why alcoholics tend to be unsuccessful if they try and quit on their own, but groups such as Alcoholics Anonymous tend to be quite successful. Your path is your own, but that does not preclude the help of others. I am sure there are individuals or groups out there that can help you. Online forums such as this can also help, but there is certainly a sense of separation.

As for how to do it... you need to make it a habit, just as your pessimism is your current habit. First you have to break your pessimistic habit, which might require help. And then you have to try to be optimistic until you no longer have to think about doing so. Just like learning a new skill or sport, you have to repeat it and repeat it until it becomes natural to you. How to break your pessimism? First you need to be aware of when you are being pessimistic. Then you need to stop yourself when you see it happening. And then you need to have optimistic thoughts in place of those pessimistic thoughts.

Sorry, there's no easy way about it. The work is hard and the road is long, but the reward is life and love, and let me tell you that it is totally worth the sweat and tears.

I found a nifty little exercise in a book that I read awhile back. Basically, there are a lot of little actions that you perform throughout the day that each give you a little bit of joy. But most people don't recognize this joy, and it goes unnoticed. Acts such as taking a sip of water, feeling a change in temperature when you go inside/outside, walking through a ray of sunshine, feeling a breeze against your face, smelling something tasty, etc. If you train your awareness you can become very aware of these little things, and every day will be speckled with joy.

On that note, this rigidity that you speak of... I believe this is why you are having the issues that you spoke of in your thread-original post. You were asking why things keep coming up that get in the way of your commitment to that spiritual focus group. Have you ever considered that 'The Universe' is challenging that commitment, that rigidity? I believe that it is a message that you must learn to let go of your stubbornness, that you must learn to flow. Basically, your rigidity/stubbornness, your inability to let go of your commitments, is getting in the way of your spiritual progress.

For me it is easy, I just do what I want to do so long as it doesn't harm others. If somebody wants to do something that I don't really want to do, I would go to the group. If somebody wants to do something that I think I'd enjoy, then I'd do that over the group meeting.

I pray that this helps you on your cosmic journey.

Best regards,
Kuu

[Melahin]

Originally Posted by The Necromancer

This is because it has been many, many years since I last did all this.

The time of the Goddess is approaching and it is time for you to return to your God source; nothing less can satisfy you, the same way that nothing less than the Titan Krios can satisfy me. I have as you neglected my practice of the internal energies that makes my world spin. But as we return to it it will become more. As we practice it it will become more. As we become it we will become more. This is the path of our desire to become that which inspires us.

You are a Goddess in more than words, the same way I am a Titan beyond my desire to be one.

[Shivani Devi]

I'm going to try doing the MoodGYM.
https://moodgym.anu.edu.au/welcome

Online Cognitive Behavioural Therapy. I'll also get some free CBT with a Mental Health Care Plan from my doctor.

Then, I'll do some Neuro Linguistic Programming.

I enrolled today for Reiki 1 - go me! :)

In my Spiritual Focus Group today, I had to sit for 2 hours through this...

https://www.amazon.com/Healing-Lumin.../dp/B0001Y4MDG

Then we did a clear quartz crystal meditation...

After that, it was a lesson in Healing Energy Cards -

http://healingenergycards.templeofbalance.com/

Four...hours...of...all....this!!!

I came home feeling like all my energy had been sucked out of me. lol

[Khalli]

Is this all helping?

If so, then it is a good thing.

[Shivani Devi]

Originally Posted by khallianen

Is this all helping?

If so, then it is a good thing.

Yes, it is helping....a bit, but it will take time. I figured, it took 50 years for me to get this way and I was pretty much always this way, so I can't see huge positive changes happening overnight.

I'm working towards getting to a place of total ambivalence - neither negative nor positive.

If I don't expect bad things to happen, they won't and if I don't expect good things to happen, they won't.

The way to avoid disappointment is to expect nothing and I mean truly expect nothing - that way, if something bad happens, it won't upset me and if something good happens, it's a bonus.

I also have to make more excuses than I do for whenever things go bad, instead of getting angry when they do...

Oh, I have troubles with my fine motor skills and can't do things normal people can do....that's because I am autistic...no more, no less. If I drop things, mess things up, can't do anything properly....blame the fact I am disabled instead of cursing the universe, thinking it has a vendetta against me.

Hopefully, my occupational therapist can help me out here - I have to see him next week...meanwhile, I am practicing putting small nuts on small screws...I have massive problems doing this....and tying shoelaces...etc...I'm not really dexterous whatsoever...which explains a lot.

[Shivani Devi]

....is what it all boils down to.

One of the cruelest things to do to an autistic child is to place them in a 'selection pool'.

As it was, every school sporting afternoon when the teacher would choose two 'team captains' for whatever sport it was (I was never one of these) and those captains would alternatively choose class members to be on their respective sporting teams.

I was always the last one remaining with a "you take her"..."no, YOU take her"..."but she's scared of the ball"...."she cannot catch"...."we'll lose if she's on our team"..."may as well not even play"...."I'm not going to play if she's on our team"..."she's a jinx"..."please don't put her on our team, miss...PLEASE"...etc etc...

In the end, I was really hurt about all of this rejection, but I was like "at least do me the personal dignity of not subjecting me to this every Wednesday and Friday afternoon" and I was told; "take it up with the Headmaster".

I did and I was excused from doing physical education, as long as I spent that time studying in the library and also helping out in the school office and running errands. A welcome trade-off, until all the kids became jealous "what makes HER so special she's excused from sport?" and I was bullied to hell and back - one cannot win, can they?

Yeah imagine that, they wonder why I get excused from sport, yet nobody wants me on their team...funny that.

It is just something that crossed my mind during meditation today.