Help From the Gallery

Hey everyone;

Had a really bad day....my TF is supposed to be coming over next weekend - now not so sure....something else has come up that he will have to attend to.
I swear that literally almost every single time we are supposed to spend time together, something comes up, or happens, to make it either not happen, or cut it short. I would say it happens at least 90% of the time....why?? I really think the universe is either trying to keep us apart, or I've been cursed by someone (my ex, maybe? wouldn't put it past him...)
It shouldn't be that big of a deal, but sometimes I just feel so cheated....
help....is there any way to break this cycle, or do I just have to live with it??

[Quest]

You have been so patient, Sesheta, and it hurts to see you suffer! I know patience only runs so far. These TF relationships are sooo testing! Can you arrange for him to come over another time, ie during the week even? Or can you propose to him to go on a little get away the weekend after, and just book accommodation somewhere? At least you'd have something to look forward to, and you'd both get out of the regular environment. Maybe a little retreat would be good for both of you?
Hang in there! At least you are in touch with him. Many of us don't even get to talk to our TFs for months on end, if not years, so be grateful that you are at this stage with your TF cause you can't ever take that for granted. I haven't seen nor talked to mine in 6 weeks, and believe me, I'm counting the days. The last real conversation we had was over 2 months ago, and I miss him like crazy. I'd do anything just to be able to talk to him.
Hugs sent your way!!! Be strong and try to accept the situation as it is. There is a reason why this is all happening. It may not be obvious but you will probably recognize its meaning in the future.

Originally Posted by sesheta

Hey everyone;

Had a really bad day....my TF is supposed to be coming over next weekend - now not so sure....something else has come up that he will have to attend to.
I swear that literally almost every single time we are supposed to spend time together, something comes up, or happens, to make it either not happen, or cut it short. I would say it happens at least 90% of the time....why?? I really think the universe is either trying to keep us apart, or I've been cursed by someone (my ex, maybe? wouldn't put it past him...)
It shouldn't be that big of a deal, but sometimes I just feel so cheated....
help....is there any way to break this cycle, or do I just have to live with it??

I don't think you're cursed, hun..:/

Looking at it from an outsiders perspective, it just seems that he has a busy busy life. :(

Talk to him about how you feel, the way you said it here..that you feel everytime you make plans something comes up, and you're wondering when something is not going to come up.

Good luck and be well :)

[John Elessar]

Originally Posted by sesheta

Hey everyone;

Had a really bad day....my TF is supposed to be coming over next weekend - now not so sure....something else has come up that he will have to attend to.
I swear that literally almost every single time we are supposed to spend time together, something comes up, or happens, to make it either not happen, or cut it short. I would say it happens at least 90% of the time....why?? I really think the universe is either trying to keep us apart, or I've been cursed by someone (my ex, maybe? wouldn't put it past him...)
It shouldn't be that big of a deal, but sometimes I just feel so cheated....
help....is there any way to break this cycle, or do I just have to live with it??

My most recent...paramour would cancel every single plan we had made at the last minute-there was a thread on false twin souls recently-not saying that that is what you have here necessarily (you didn't say but some of the reasons might have been on your end as well), just something to think about. SC or not, if someone isn't actually willing to genuinely and honestly connect then what's the point? I've grown beyond making these distant women the stars of my nightly fantasies as well.

[Teal]

Yeah that sucks the big one. Have you tried to talk to him about how you feel about things getting interrupted? I know how that feels. It happens in my non tf relationships a lot. I realize this now.Hang in there and have some cake. Cake solves everything:)lol Maybe you two can figure out your time tables and schedule appointments or something. Like people do for date night or what ever.

Originally Posted by sesheta

Hey everyone;

Had a really bad day....my TF is supposed to be coming over next weekend - now not so sure....something else has come up that he will have to attend to.
I swear that literally almost every single time we are supposed to spend time together, something comes up, or happens, to make it either not happen, or cut it short. I would say it happens at least 90% of the time....why?? I really think the universe is either trying to keep us apart, or I've been cursed by someone (my ex, maybe? wouldn't put it past him...)
It shouldn't be that big of a deal, but sometimes I just feel so cheated....
help....is there any way to break this cycle, or do I just have to live with it??

Just hang in there. It used to happen in my connection often. And from what I've read, it's not that uncommon in these connections. I'm not in a false twin connection, so I can't comment on that, but it has happened in my twin connection. At first, I think it was him canceling things. Like maybe the realization hit home to him or something, but then it seemed like the universe stepped in and said "it's not time." But who know's, maybe the universe stepped in every time.

I wish I could offer you more, but I just wanted to tell you that your not alone and hang in there. But I would talk to him about it. I understand how scary it is to talk to our twins on some subjects. But I came to a point that I would rather know and risk him stepping back, and me being hurt by the answer, than to wonder and be confused. So, I speak up now. I feel it's better to know than to be in the dark.

Again, hang in there.

I think he shouldnt have changed his plans and you guys had plans first...he should also compromise sometimes and put your needs first.

[Quest]

Talking about it with him is definitely needed! I started doing that towards the end of our relationship, and my TF didn't like it. I kept my heart open the entire time, exposing all of my vulnerabilities, expressing my love to him but he wasn't willing to reciprocate that. He couldn't speak the words even though I knew he loved me. He also wasn't sharing his deepest fears with me, like I was, he was denying he had them, denying he was holding back for a while even until he finally admitted it. He then claimed it was source asking him to hold back ;)

So he felt pushed into a corner by me and stubborn man that he is, he walked. However, I must say I'm much rather separated right now than having to deal with his inabilities to open up completely. Obviously, the fact that I was still living with my fiance played a role, and maybe that was the only reason why he held back but he had to know that it bothered me and that it wasn't meeting my desires for an intimate relationship anymore.
He has time now to work on these things, and so do I. Sometimes the time may just not be right to be together yet, and a separation can really help sort out issues. Maybe that's what you two need, only you will know. But if "being" with him is not meeting your desires, then rethink it all, bring it up and see how he reacts. He needs to know what your desires are so that eventually, you can both meet in a balanced state. This relationship should be about giving and receiving, and as soon as it becomes unbalanced, problems show up, so they do need to be addressed. You can still allow the situation to occur rather than resisting it because it is for your higher good in the end.

[EricDraven]

I understand your sadness sesheta, as mentioned already be ever grateful for what you do have, which should only attract more of it.

And never forget what a sexy witch you is!

I agree with some of the others here. I'm not discounting the pain and frustration of the cancelled plans... but be glad for the contact, IMO. I'd give almost anything to have my TF cancel plans with me, hehe. Because that would mean she spoke to me to begin with, to make plans.