I may be entirely lost

[Myke369]

Hey everyone,

I wanted to write this post because I feel I may need some help in understanding and I don't know who or what is able to inspire me to the 'ah-ha' moment.

So I am a single male with a history of failed relationships. I have had a handful of profound experiences on a spiritual level with different partners and only an even smaller bunch still visit me in my memories. I get the sense that they are on my mind so they are yet to still serve me a purpose; a lesson to learn. One time I had a vision where I saw an entity that was half me and half my then partner; this being was me and also not me. This being knew me and also was glad we met and as was I. I saw this as a version of myself that I was then able to accept and I can see how this has done well for me.

Although single, I am and I do (or I believe I do) make sure I do not hinder myself from the opportunity of love. I do my best to socializing, I interact, and most of all I am honest. I think my being honest is the only consistent personality trait that i can carry on through all my experiences without displaying another version of me.

I have babbled and lost my point... My point is; how is there are so many people that just instinctively know where they are at with their twin flame progress? Either they have met already or have sensed they are going to meet? or have transitioned their relationship to service for humanity..

All I want to know is if i'm supposed to have a partner in this or fight alone. Sometimes I let my world get on top of me in hopes that my equal would come along and share the rains..

If I knew I was meant to dance 3D all by myself then this is fine. Albeit a very tough and saddening cookie to swallow.. and I'll do it. I would just like to

By this point I realize that all I have to do is go within for the answers...

I've made a lot of sacrifices in my life; all in the hopes that someone else will benefit. I have more than once put my emotions and my 'ness' on the back burner for someone else so I know I can do it. I believe I have good intentions so I use that as an excuse to not be accountable for my behavior.

I feel a lot of things and even in this community where I know people are more alike me than ever before.. I still feel alone. I still don't want to put my hand up in case the teacher scolds me for not knowing the answers. I still work myself tirelessly to get it right for my parents validation. I still say and do things I don't mean nor like of myself for the affection of others.

[Golden Eagle]

still trying to maintain your "person" identity ......

that is the "not you" trying to feed its illusion ........

Spend more time in solitude answering ONLY to the ACTUAL NEEDS that arise through the day , and put aside ALL wanting and expectations completely ~


All "person" identities ...... are insane, why be that which you ARE NOT?

When I'm stumped on repairing a piece of electronics and cant find the answer i usually get so frustrated i have to get up and walk away from my bench.

That moment of me standing up is surrender or the beginning of it.
by the time i make my way around the building i have forgotten all about the problem and that's when the answer I'm no longer seeking comes to me.

When you seek anything it normally eludes you.

It's also been said that needing nothing attracts everything.

Would it be worth trying honestly to work out what failed about past relationships? If it kept happening?

I mean, is it possible to come to a general conclusion or were they all (markedly) different? Just to check your own part in the break-ups?

It may be an idea to avoid "looking for" a twin flame right now. If it's going to happen it will (according to the doctrine). The problem, if you read through a few posts on that section of the forum, is that unless both participants believe in the same doctrine it'll be an uphill struggle for one (who will have to somehow awaken (i.e. convert) the other).

There's also a lot on separation that seems a feature of twin flames that, if love is unconditional, shouldn't deter you. But if you look forward to a partner's company you'd have to sound the prospects out early on. I found the twin-flame thing to be quite constricting and no more guaranteeing a happy, warm relationship than an ordinary one. Dozens of millions of relationships in the world have endured a lifetime without the couples classing themselves as twin flames.

Just my views.

[LunaBlue]

A twin flame relationship is not a sexual love relationship. Although some Twins do have sex with each other. Twin flame is not a marriage. Although some Twins are married to each other. Twin flame isn't boyfriend, girlfriend. Although some Twins consider themselves such. Twin flame is an augmentation, a growth of yourself into another better form, into a love that transcends the boxes and bonds of conventional emotions and relationships. Your Twin helps you to grow yourself, make the best of yourself, and give of yourselves to others. You do the same for them. You gain energy from being together and a sort of magic happens every time. It never gets old. It's there for you both. Something you can give back to others and that attracts those to you who are hurting or in need. I've experienced this with my Twin and he with me. I've given more of myself with more to give since acknowledging our bond. We are a better, more giving *we*. You are never ever ever jealous of your Twin being with someone else, be it married to another, having sex with another whatever. The bond is stronger than all those put together and more. A Twin may be physically absent but you are always soul bound. Across the street, across the country, across the cosmos. Together. Forever. It's there.

It's been a week now since the topic started. Hopefully Myke369 will pop back
to acknowledge the replies soon.

[Myke369]

Hi all, I hope you excuse my delay in replying. I didn't want to put any words to print as i was in a place where I was very unsure of my decisions.

Golden Eagle - I believe my feeling lost was because I was 'trying' to guise who I am by who I thought I was and I still felt like my being myself wasn't good. Which I now have learnt that all experiences are subjective and for the big picture I know I am in the right place at the right time.

Badcopyinc - Thank you for your help I have meditated over the last week and have come to new stand points regarding my feelings and their emotional roots. I believe where I have saw my self stuck or confused is because I have been eluded by my desire as I have let myself be swept up by ego and all the things I thought I was supposed to want and desire. Now I realize I should be living in the now rather than letting myself think I need to alter my situation in order to be at peace.

Lorelyn - All my relationships have been very different and over the years I have learnt from them in various ways. I have also learnt a lot about my other relationships in my life; the ones I haven't been focusing on or giving attention to. Since writing this I actually have read a lot more into the separation which added to the confusing because if I think of it there are multiple people who could potentially be my twin flame or so I think at this point. Which is mysteriously interesting to me because it keeps me on my toes and feels more like a positive game where I know when I find who the TF is I know it will open up a plethora of opportunities going down my life path so this I accept and have teetered more towards being excited than knowing the specifics.

LunaBlue - I think I have an idea of who my TF is and it is simply by guessing and relating to the things I have learnt and related to. I'm not even certain however, the person Im thinking of does inspire all my emotions at once. And I remember from the last few times we saw each other it was always like only us two people in the universe mattered and nothing else outside of us engaging existed or was even thought of. I know I may have made him see a few things about himself that he may not of like and the same for me hence the end of our relationship. We are still in contact though and it is pleasant and i am always happy to hear from him and eager to make contact with him(without being obsessive) My biggest compliment for him was to tell him how amazing he was because I just felt like I couldn't describe him any other way and words were not enough.

Since writing the initial post I have gone through a whirlwind of emotions and internal trauma coming to the surface to be released and right now I am currently all congested and tired and aching and I know this is due to the massive energies I am making room for in my being by ridding myself of the old. I have seen and re-realized a lot about my childhood upbringing and how that is affecting me today and how it has carved most of my relationships today.

I have seen that I play the victim a lot and I know this is because my ego is now my spiritual ego and I find myself justifying myself for not sharing love and light and every opportunity.

I have taken to resting mostly and I still have lots of questions only now I see the importance of the unknowing as much as the knowing.

MERRY CHRISTMAS!! also! people near where i live have started putting their decorations up where I live and it gets me excited :)