Cancelled plans to meet with my long-distance TF, what is the meaning of this?

[olhosdeamendoa]

So I have reconnected with my TF 2 months ago, when I was on holidays to my home country and we have had a wonderful time together.

I came back to the other country I live and we have been in touch every single day.

He bought flight tickets to come and stay with me next week for my birthday, but if you have been watching the news today, there is an air company that went into administration and stopped working from today. Yes, he had the flight booked with that company.

There will possibly be no refunds as the company ceased to exist (still seeing this with Paypal), and if there's no refund, there's no way he will be able to come here.

This was a major thing that affected also lots of people travelling and the company staff that lost their jobs too.

But, the thing is, this could have happened after he came here, right? So, why now?

I am so sad with this I cannot even describe. Not just because he was coming here, but because it will be my birthday. He is sad too with this.

I just feel this is a major blockage and I do not understand. This is making me questioning everything.

I can't even listen to my intuition right now because I am so sad. Any thoughts?

[Realm Ki]

I know just the feeling! And I feel for you both.

I have two inputs; firstly, the experience of this blockage is a goal in itself. the way we enjoy /experience ourlives affect others, even painful experiences (and part from final grief few experiences are more painful, that being kept from you lover indeterminanty) generate healing.

By this I mean, do not fight the feelings of sadness and disappointment. Do not try to 'skip' the by finding a reason for them etc. They are an essential part of the human experience, part of the magnitude of tension that is created by our separation, part of the whole point of us being here. Respectfully live! it. However painful, have clear and honest communication even in the pain.

Secondly, there is most likely also a good reason for the böckage. The first thing that springs to mind is that the two of you need more time. But again, reasons after feeling. Try and stay true in the moment and fully embrace all the sadness, it is a mirror of the love you feel, one and the same, and treasured.

/ Mi

[ssdm1]

Oh my. I'm so sorry to hear this. You have every reason to feel disappointed, I'd be devastated.

It seems these disappointments and challenges are part of this twin flame relationship and happen at times to us all. I've had my times where we were to see each other and things beyond our control changed the plans, so I know the feeling.

This is probably yet another lesson for you both to identify and learn from.

I hope something can be worked out so your twin can get a refund.

If it makes you feel any better there have been a couple times when I've questioned everything too and felt the who situation was hopeless. But I let go and had faith that all would work out as it should. And it did to my surprise, lol. I still need work in the trust and faith area.

[Illuminata007]

So sorry about this. You are powerful co-creators. Stay optimistic, If You are meant to see each other now, it will work out. In the meantime, make plans to have an amazing birthday no matter what.

[olhosdeamendoa]

Thank you for your replies.

He still has a flight here next week, it was just the return flight that has been cancelled. He is waiting for the refund to come so he can buy a return flight with another air company, but the refund can come only after the date of the flight here.

Anyway what I feel is that this is a test for him. If it was me, I would take the decision to be in that flight coming here and would trust the Universe and ourselves to figure out the rest. But I would not stay home and miss that flight.

But he hasn't done that yet (take that decision), so I feel this is like a challenge/test for him and I am letting go myself and leave it with him and the Universe.

[Realm Ki]

Ah.

Yes.

That's a dilemma. Well, it will surely show how you both live through uncertainties... It will be harder on him, though, because he is the boss of his actions - what are the consequeces should the refund not reach him in time... Will he lose his job, let down people who trust and rely on him etc.

Where I would've easily jumped on a plane a few years back, my practice has had me realize there is always another train (plane). The Universe creates loop holes and back doors - the how is not up to me, The Univers will magically make that happen, and so I don't need to be in a hurry. To practice self-care and not put my self in stressful or reckless situations, has been a huge part of my growth, these last few years. Before, I would have found it a sign of fear, now I know it's a sign of trust. All will be well, and even sooner if I trust that there is space and time for me to care for my needs and physical and emotional well-being.

Just some food for thought.

Please, let us know what happens? I will send energy your ways / Mi

[olhosdeamendoa]

Originally Posted by Mi Rakel

Ah.

Yes.

That's a dilemma. Well, it will surely show how you both live through uncertainties... It will be harder on him, though, because he is the boss of his actions - what are the consequeces should the refund not reach him in time... Will he lose his job, let down people who trust and rely on him etc.

Where I would've easily jumped on a plane a few years back, my practice has had me realize there is always another train (plane). The Universe creates loop holes and back doors - the how is not up to me, The Univers will magically make that happen, and so I don't need to be in a hurry. To practice self-care and not put my self in stressful or reckless situations, has been a huge part of my growth, these last few years. Before, I would have found it a sign of fear, now I know it's a sign of trust. All will be well, and even sooner if I trust that there is space and time for me to care for my needs and physical and emotional well-being.

Just some food for thought.

Please, let us know what happens? I will send energy your ways / Mi

Thanks Mi Rakel.

He is on holidays next week so he wouldn't lose his job or anything bad would happen.

Actually, if he take the decision to jump on that plane, even without the refund we could figure out something together, I would suggest paying half of the flight back.

But I just feel he wants to do everything on his own, not as a "team" with me and doesn't open up about it, so I do not suggest or say anything.

Yes the Universe creates other things in certain situations, but my gut feeling is that this time this is a test for him.

[FairyCrystal]

I understand you are upset and hurting. But maybe this is happening so you can find out just how much this man is into you or not. Better to find out now then a year down the line, even though the outcome may not be all that pleasant.
What I am wondering... you said he was sad too, yet from your 2nd posting I get you feel he doesn't make an effort or doesn't care so much. So in that sense, was he really sad?
How open and honest is your communication? Communication is so important in a relationship, it can make it or break it. If communication is open, which it should be between TFs, you shouldn't have to think twice about expressing your feelings to him about all this. And I think I still would do that. And by no means come up with offering to pay half of the ticket home. But express how you feel that he doesn't talk to you about it to sort it out. Don't blame, don't make him feel guilty, simply express what it does to you and see what happens.
If you can't express your feelings -in other words, can't be yourself- in the beginning of a relationship, that doesn't bode well for the future.

Whatever you do, take care of yourself, don't give your power away by focusing on him and this issue. Know you are worthy, and if a man doesn't make an effort, doesn't treat you as worthy... well, then he isn't the right one. Us women tend to make the man the prize, the focal point, while in actual fact it should be the other way round... YOU are the prize, and if he isn't even joining the game to win it, he shouldn't get it. Thinking that way will help self-esteem.

Good luck!

[olhosdeamendoa]

Originally Posted by FairyCrystal

I understand you are upset and hurting. But maybe this is happening so you can find out just how much this man is into you or not. Better to find out now then a year down the line, even though the outcome may not be all that pleasant.
What I am wondering... you said he was sad too, yet from your 2nd posting I get you feel he doesn't make an effort or doesn't care so much. So in that sense, was he really sad?
How open and honest is your communication? Communication is so important in a relationship, it can make it or break it. If communication is open, which it should be between TFs, you shouldn't have to think twice about expressing your feelings to him about all this. And I think I still would do that. And by no means come up with offering to pay half of the ticket home. But express how you feel that he doesn't talk to you about it to sort it out. Don't blame, don't make him feel guilty, simply express what it does to you and see what happens.
If you can't express your feelings -in other words, can't be yourself- in the beginning of a relationship, that doesn't bode well for the future.

Whatever you do, take care of yourself, don't give your power away by focusing on him and this issue. Know you are worthy, and if a man doesn't make an effort, doesn't treat you as worthy... well, then he isn't the right one. Us women tend to make the man the prize, the focal point, while in actual fact it should be the other way round... YOU are the prize, and if he isn't even joining the game to win it, he shouldn't get it. Thinking that way will help self-esteem.

Good luck!

Thank you FairyCristal!

I guess on my second post I was realising a few things I wasn't realising on the first one...

The reason why I am not expressing my feelings about this to him is because I don't want to put any pressure on him, like he feels that he does have to come here and jump on that flight. Because I feel that needs to be his decision.

And I also want to see what he does, the effort you were mentioning. That is why I am backing off a little and giving him space to do whatever he wants to do with no pressure.

Because he is saying all the time that he misses me and wants to come and be with me, so let's see if his actions match his words.

I have no idea at this point of what he is thinking about doing, if he is calling Paypal to ask if he'll get the refund this week, if he is checking return flights, etc. He doesn't mention anything. Which is not a good thing I think.

I don't know, I guess I would like him to reassure me that he still wants to come on that available flight and he's taking care of things. But he doesn't say anything. The only things he says is "I miss you so much" or "I want to be with you", etc, which is kinda starting to annoy me.

I am not giving my power away because I've just decided to focus on my business and where my life was before this happened. I also don't feel like talking to him much at this point.

Because the thing is, we talked before about he moving here permanently in the future, and if he doesn't come here now with something that is simple to resolve, what would happen about moving for good!?

Anyway, you are right, he should do the effort regardless of being a TF or not. If he doesn't, we are not on the same page.

[ssdm1]

Originally Posted by olhosdeamendoa

Thank you FairyCristal!

I guess on my second post I was realising a few things I wasn't realising on the first one...

The reason why I am not expressing my feelings about this to him is because I don't want to put any pressure on him, like he feels that he does have to come here and jump on that flight. Because I feel that needs to be his decision.

And I also want to see what he does, the effort you were mentioning. That is why I am backing off a little and giving him space to do whatever he wants to do with no pressure.

Because he is saying all the time that he misses me and wants to come and be with me, so let's see if his actions match his words.

I have no idea at this point of what he is thinking about doing, if he is calling Paypal to ask if he'll get the refund this week, if he is checking return flights, etc. He doesn't mention anything. Which is not a good thing I think.

I don't know, I guess I would like him to reassure me that he still wants to come on that available flight and he's taking care of things. But he doesn't say anything. The only things he says is "I miss you so much" or "I want to be with you", etc, which is kinda starting to annoy me.

I am not giving my power away because I've just decided to focus on my business and where my life was before this happened. I also don't feel like talking to him much at this point.

Because the thing is, we talked before about he moving here permanently in the future, and if he doesn't come here now with something that is simple to resolve, what would happen about moving for good!?

Anyway, you are right, he should do the effort regardless of being a TF or not. If he doesn't, we are not on the same page.

Agreed. I've cut back contact with my tf as I don't feel he puts as much effort into our friendship as I do.

Like you I've been focusing on who I was before he came back in my life and taking it day by day.

I hope things work out for you to see your twin for your birthday.

Happy birthday, btw.