Kundalini or what??? On the edge of despair

[fabio220220]

Hello Everybody,

I'm a 27 year-old guy and I write from Italy. Hello to everyone again. It is my first thread on this forum and I think it is the right section to write in. I try to be as much concrete and short as possibile. I started to have very strange symptoms two years ago. Everything started to me feel very fatigued without any good reason; being at the university and living as a student made me thinking that it was normal because I was at the very end and up to take my master degree and because of an irregual diet which is normal for non local student living with other people and alone. However, that condition looked very unusual to me because even without eating (hyperbole) I was able to study and get very good results, hanging out with friends and partying untill late hours in the night. I also started to notice that my libido was rapidly decreasing. To be sincere, I started to notice very weak genitals and libido and I became deeply worried about it. Arriving to summer and back to my hometown, I was feeling very strange and weak having everyday nausea . One afternoon I couldn't stand on my own and I went to bed. I had a huge headacke and I saw a kind of "involution" of my genitals that was to me hard to believe. I started to feel my nervous system moving without control and especially some of my fingers. In addition, I couldn't sleep well for days and nights finding no refreshment. I didn't have any sexual energy anymore and I started to think all the worst thing in my mind so that I was up to explode. I thought that I could have incurred in multiple sclerosis and I burst into tears with my parents. I also experienced memory loss moments and panic attacks that took me directly to the hospital. Doctors said that I had nothing to worry about. I told myself: "you're not crazy....". None was able to believe me. My dad started to think that I had mental issues and that i'm not ****ing normal and that I had to go out...find girls...get a job, make money and I could see all my problems solved with that and blablabla. My mum only was just more open and made me sure that we had to investigate more. My family doctor told me that I had had perhaps a nervous breakdown after years of study and sacrificies. I was not satisfied about all the bull**** I was said at that time and I needed to investigate on my own. I've always been an explorer and an avid reader of occult science, essays about spirituality and very interested in philosophy and the questions about life and death. I'm a very very curious person who is not able to stop thinking but, on the other hand, a guy who went with friends as much as possible, looking for girls and joyful to travel and spend time outside. However, I decided to be brave and to have a tarot reading, something that I would have never thought about to do because I believed wrong in terms of karma creation. The reader told me that it was my "head" that was all the time overthinking and that it was the problem and other things not important for this post. Not satisfied again, one of my friend suggested me to have a vedic astrology reading with someone he knew and that was very realiable. I accepeted and I fixed the reading. The astrologer was incredible and gave me many precious insights, some of them very painful and others somehow relieving. However, he said,again, that it was my brain to cause such symptoms and that was nothing physical. I told him that was impossibile that my brain could move my nervous system in such a erratic way, or my heart to beat faster every second, or the ackes I had throughout the body.... I told him that I had been always healthy and very energetic. I was in trouble. Then, I decided to contact a psychiatrist who was also involved in spritual psychology activities. He was the only one who was believing me and told me that the symptoms were mere kundalini energy movements. We often met and he tried to help me to accept the event and try to cooperate with it, something that was really hard for me even thought it was something I had read about and so I wasn't totally ignorant about the process. However, time was passing and I was always tired but I had to go to job and do everything by myself. I went to practice basketball but I couldn't play as before...I was nothing than an old crate compared to what I was before. Not to speak about my sexual energy (semen, genital power etc) that had been completely destroyed, deleted or I don't know what except all the theoretical stuffs such as sexual energy transmutation and rising, surrender to the process, having no control etc. Then, I decided to take a break and rest for some time since the last summer untill now. Some symptoms have thankfully improved such as extreme fatigue (even though I'm still fatigued), too much nervous movement, too much rapid thinking, too much strange thoughts (such as being gay etc.). Anyway, some energy is flowing inside and outside of my body as if I was an heater: I can see my t-shirt subtly moving or if I take a piece of paper with my hands it moves as being moved by an hairdryer. Is it prana? is it kundalini? I don't know. I still also feel my heart to be disturbed and fatigued.... it's not peaceful anymore and I notice it when I go to the gym or when I do some physical movements for fitness even at home.My face looks always tired with huge bags under the eyes. My sexual energy is still very low and it is hard to believe or to be real but my genitals became smaller and very limp. I beg you sorry for this particular.
I'm only 27 and I'm desperate...everyday I'm desperate because I don't feel the energetic and positive boy that I was before. I don't know what I have done but I'm not able to accept this condition of a sick young man. I'm all the time at home feeling quite tired or stuck even thougt I try to go to the gym. Every source says that this force is an intelligent one and perhaps we cannot understand the whole process. Even so, I don't understand how someone can live in this larval state and do nothing. To have a women has become a dream to me. I'm also very worried about my heart and scared to have an heart attack or a collapse during some training. I cannot ask you help because it is impossibile, as I understood, to be helped or to meet someone that can do something. Many sources say that it will last decade and all the things many of you already know. How to cope with it???? What to do??

Thank you to all the patient readers

[iamthat]

Hello there. Thanks for sharing some of your story. It sounds as if you have a lot to deal with. At least your mother seems supportive, even if your father does not understand what you are going through.

So you are fatigued, your sex drive has gone, and your body seems to be out of your control. You have had panic attacks and memory loss. You fear the worst, such as you may develop multiple sclerosis or any exercise might bring on a heart attack. You have unusual experiences with energy and you don't know what is happening. You are feeling desperate because you are not the man you used to be. All you want is to get back to having a normal life but you don't know what is wrong so you don't know how to fix it.

Maybe people on this forum will come up with ideas and suggestions for you, but it is difficult to know what is going on with you. It does sound as if you are going through a breakdown. Such breakdowns are hell while we go through them, but afterwards we may look back and realise that it was in fact a healing process. There are times in our lives when all sorts of things get pushed to the surface, and they may manifest as physical issues or emotional fears and anxieties or mental insecurities. All we can do is try to deal with whatever arises, and remind ourselves that these things are "better out than in". In other words, it is better for the body to release things than keep them held within, even if the process of releasing is difficult.

You may find it helpful to read "Medical Medium" by Anthony William. He has helped many people who are dealing with mystery illnesses which doctors do not understand. He advocates various natural treatments which are described in the book, and he has helped many people completely turn their lives around - they go from being unable to do anything to living a normal energetic life.

I hope you find something which helps you.

Peace.

[barrynu]

I am in the Kundalini process now since 2012 and life is wonderful and magical at times.I went through a lot of emotional stuff at the beginning and had uncontrollable body movements.The first few years I always wondered "is this Kundalini?".. because of all the symtoms I had but there were many symptoms that I did not have,it was confusing and emotional but I lost my job at the beginning so I had lots of time to myself and this time helped me to accelerate the process.

5 and a half years later Kundalini has worked through my energy system and there is a constant peace and beauty blazing from my heart so DON'T worry about the Kundalini horror stories because bad news always makes a story...there are many wonderful kundalini stories in the world,you just wont see too many of them written down.

Every Kundalini is different and personal so there is no rule book...I will let you know some of my thought's and stuff that worked for me....some things will work for a while and then they are stopped and something else will come along so try what feels right,do it until you feel you have got to the end and then wait for something new,,because Kundalini is constant change....FEELING what to do and not thinking what to do.

You say you think alot,,,that is the kundalini energy in your brain...I was like you and I still think alot at times ,,but its ok to think a lot about wonderful ideas and plans...there is nothing wrong with thinking,,,its what you are thinking about that makes the difference to your mood.

Here are some of my thoughts on what to do,,if they FEEL right then try them.
Give up the gym(or cut down)...........slow down,,,,go for long walks alone and let some EMOTIONS out...be sad,be happy.get angry.be lonely,think, be silent....cry,scream,smile and then go home and relax on your own or with friends,be normal again:)
Yoga is good.Tai chi is good.....slow down

Diet is important.....Drink GOOD water,try to find natural spring water.
cook your own food and limit fast food to once a week or better still once a month...we all need our pizza and big macs every now and again.

Try to find someone that you can go to..shaman/guru....just have the intention of finding a mentor and they will show up but DONT! put them on a pedestal or worship them....learn from them and move on when you feel it is time.

Your spirit is being infused with Kundalini Energy and your body is trying to catch up,,, so be gentle and loving to your body....When it gets strong,lie down and surrender.

Its a wonderful process .......Lucky you! :)

It only takes decade's if you don't know how to deal with it and my BIGGEST and most IMPORTANT tip is ......Emotions,,,,feel them,,,that's how you release them.

here's some info that can helphttp://www.kundaliniawakeningsystems...l#.WgjE4mi0PIU

[django]

Originally Posted by barrynu

I am in the Kundalini process now since 2012 and life is wonderful and magical at times.I went through a lot of emotional stuff at the beginning and had uncontrollable body movements.The first few years I always wondered "is this Kundalini?".. because of all the symtoms I had but there were many symptoms that I did not have,it was confusing and emotional but I lost my job at the beginning so I had lots of time to myself and this time helped me to accelerate the process.

5 and a half years later Kundalini has worked through my energy system and there is a constant peace and beauty blazing from my heart so DON'T worry about the Kundalini horror stories because bad news always makes a story...there are many wonderful kundalini stories in the world,you just wont see too many of them written down.

Every Kundalini is different and personal so there is no rule book...I will let you know some of my thought's and stuff that worked for me....some things will work for a while and then they are stopped and something else will come along so try what feels right,do it until you feel you have got to the end and then wait for something new,,because Kundalini is constant change....FEELING what to do and not thinking what to do.

You say you think alot,,,that is the kundalini energy in your brain...I was like you and I still think alot at times ,,but its ok to think a lot about wonderful ideas and plans...there is nothing wrong with thinking,,,its what you are thinking about that makes the difference to your mood.

Here are some of my thoughts on what to do,,if they FEEL right then try them.
Give up the gym(or cut down)...........slow down,,,,go for long walks alone and let some EMOTIONS out...be sad,be happy.get angry.be lonely,think, be silent....cry,scream,smile and then go home and relax on your own or with friends,be normal again:)
Yoga is good.Tai chi is good.....slow down

Diet is important.....Drink GOOD water,try to find natural spring water.
cook your own food and limit fast food to once a week or better still once a month...we all need our pizza and big macs every now and again.

Try to find someone that you can go to..shaman/guru....just have the intention of finding a mentor and they will show up but DONT! put them on a pedestal or worship them....learn from them and move on when you feel it is time.

Your spirit is being infused with Kundalini Energy and your body is trying to catch up,,, so be gentle and loving to your body....When it gets strong,lie down and surrender.

Its a wonderful process .......Lucky you! :)

It only takes decade's if you don't know how to deal with it and my BIGGEST and most IMPORTANT tip is ......Emotions,,,,feel them,,,that's how you release them.

here's some info that can helphttp://www.kundaliniawakeningsystems...l#.WgjE4mi0PIU

Are you sure the issue is kundalini in the first place? I think that might need to be addressed first.

[django]

Originally Posted by fabio220220

Hello Everybody,

I'm a 27 year-old guy and I write from Italy. Hello to everyone again. It is my first thread on this forum and I think it is the right section to write in. I try to be as much concrete and short as possibile. I started to have very strange symptoms two years ago. Everything started to me feel very fatigued without any good reason; being at the university and living as a student made me thinking that it was normal because I was at the very end and up to take my master degree and because of an irregual diet which is normal for non local student living with other people and alone. However, that condition looked very unusual to me because even without eating (hyperbole) I was able to study and get very good results, hanging out with friends and partying untill late hours in the night. I also started to notice that my libido was rapidly decreasing. To be sincere, I started to notice very weak genitals and libido and I became deeply worried about it. Arriving to summer and back to my hometown, I was feeling very strange and weak having everyday nausea . One afternoon I couldn't stand on my own and I went to bed. I had a huge headacke and I saw a kind of "involution" of my genitals that was to me hard to believe. I started to feel my nervous system moving without control and especially some of my fingers. In addition, I couldn't sleep well for days and nights finding no refreshment. I didn't have any sexual energy anymore and I started to think all the worst thing in my mind so that I was up to explode. I thought that I could have incurred in multiple sclerosis and I burst into tears with my parents. I also experienced memory loss moments and panic attacks that took me directly to the hospital. Doctors said that I had nothing to worry about. I told myself: "you're not crazy....". None was able to believe me. My dad started to think that I had mental issues and that i'm not ****ing normal and that I had to go out...find girls...get a job, make money and I could see all my problems solved with that and blablabla. My mum only was just more open and made me sure that we had to investigate more. My family doctor told me that I had had perhaps a nervous breakdown after years of study and sacrificies. I was not satisfied about all the bull**** I was said at that time and I needed to investigate on my own. I've always been an explorer and an avid reader of occult science, essays about spirituality and very interested in philosophy and the questions about life and death. I'm a very very curious person who is not able to stop thinking but, on the other hand, a guy who went with friends as much as possible, looking for girls and joyful to travel and spend time outside. However, I decided to be brave and to have a tarot reading, something that I would have never thought about to do because I believed wrong in terms of karma creation. The reader told me that it was my "head" that was all the time overthinking and that it was the problem and other things not important for this post. Not satisfied again, one of my friend suggested me to have a vedic astrology reading with someone he knew and that was very realiable. I accepeted and I fixed the reading. The astrologer was incredible and gave me many precious insights, some of them very painful and others somehow relieving. However, he said,again, that it was my brain to cause such symptoms and that was nothing physical. I told him that was impossibile that my brain could move my nervous system in such a erratic way, or my heart to beat faster every second, or the ackes I had throughout the body.... I told him that I had been always healthy and very energetic. I was in trouble. Then, I decided to contact a psychiatrist who was also involved in spritual psychology activities. He was the only one who was believing me and told me that the symptoms were mere kundalini energy movements. We often met and he tried to help me to accept the event and try to cooperate with it, something that was really hard for me even thought it was something I had read about and so I wasn't totally ignorant about the process. However, time was passing and I was always tired but I had to go to job and do everything by myself. I went to practice basketball but I couldn't play as before...I was nothing than an old crate compared to what I was before. Not to speak about my sexual energy (semen, genital power etc) that had been completely destroyed, deleted or I don't know what except all the theoretical stuffs such as sexual energy transmutation and rising, surrender to the process, having no control etc. Then, I decided to take a break and rest for some time since the last summer untill now. Some symptoms have thankfully improved such as extreme fatigue (even though I'm still fatigued), too much nervous movement, too much rapid thinking, too much strange thoughts (such as being gay etc.). Anyway, some energy is flowing inside and outside of my body as if I was an heater: I can see my t-shirt subtly moving or if I take a piece of paper with my hands it moves as being moved by an hairdryer. Is it prana? is it kundalini? I don't know. I still also feel my heart to be disturbed and fatigued.... it's not peaceful anymore and I notice it when I go to the gym or when I do some physical movements for fitness even at home.My face looks always tired with huge bags under the eyes. My sexual energy is still very low and it is hard to believe or to be real but my genitals became smaller and very limp. I beg you sorry for this particular.
I'm only 27 and I'm desperate...everyday I'm desperate because I don't feel the energetic and positive boy that I was before. I don't know what I have done but I'm not able to accept this condition of a sick young man. I'm all the time at home feeling quite tired or stuck even thougt I try to go to the gym. Every source says that this force is an intelligent one and perhaps we cannot understand the whole process. Even so, I don't understand how someone can live in this larval state and do nothing. To have a women has become a dream to me. I'm also very worried about my heart and scared to have an heart attack or a collapse during some training. I cannot ask you help because it is impossibile, as I understood, to be helped or to meet someone that can do something. Many sources say that it will last decade and all the things many of you already know. How to cope with it???? What to do??

Thank you to all the patient readers

Would any of these symptoms describe what's happening?

Signs & Symptoms can include:

- Energetic sensations like electricity in the body or internal lightening bolts
- Shaking and jerking in the body, usually totally out of the control of the person
- A sensation of insects or snakes crawling on the body, often along the spine
- Feelings of cold in the body, and conversely, feelings of intense heat in the spine or in specific chakras
- Spontaneously arising kriyas (yoga practices), mudras (hand gestures), Bandas (body locks), asana or pranayama. Usually the person has never studyed or learned any of these spontaneously arising practices.
- Waves of intense pleasure or bliss, even leading to orgasm
- Big emotional shifts or mood swings, well beyond the normal
- Sensory overload – sounds, lights, noise – everything becomes too much
- Strange internal sounds that no one else can hear like buzzing, musical instruments, or thunder
- Waves of apparent wisdom or insight into the way reality actually is
- Heightening periods of creativity

[barrynu]

Originally Posted by django

Are you sure the issue is kundalini in the first place? I think that might need to be addressed first.

No...Im not sure,,, fabio isn't sure either.....no one is, and none of us can be and it may a few years to know for sure.....possibly a stirring and not a rising.

It doesn't really matter if its Kundalini or something different,,, as most(if not all)the methods of dealing with Kundalini, will make life better for anyone and will help in any Emotional upset or Energy increase.

[django]

Here's another possibility anyway, adrenal fatigue:

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/women/wom...l-fatigue.html

[Shivani Devi]

Greetings fabio, and first off, let me extend a warm welcome to SF.

The movement of energies throughout the body can have many causes and explanations; possibly the least of which is a full-blown kundalini rising, however it could just be a 'stirring' as barrynu said previously.

It could also be adrenal fatigue (as also mentioned), long-standing depression, a hormonal imbalance (judging by how it affected your gonads), a chemical imbalance, an energetic imbalance, it's difficult to say from an objective viewpoint.

However, the symptoms of Kundalini awakening are not exactly the same across the board.

In my case, I was sexually aroused basically all the time and with all the physical discomfort, the fatigue and nerve spasms, I also had the experience of an expansion of consciousness, universal understanding and inner satisfaction.

It causes a direct shift, as if my whole being split in two and I need to choose that path I wish to take, because if I keep trying to walk on both paths, I'll just end up sick as a dog.

In some cases, it is explosive (as it was in mine), leaving no doubt as to what was happening inside me, like the pressure behind a volcanic plug just before a volcano erupts directly up the spine.

Also, foods I liked eating before, I don't have a taste for or I'll find myself eating and liking things I once did not.

I developed allergies and sensitivities to cleaning products, petroleum products, soaps etc. The senses became heightened so I can hear a watch ticking in the draw of an adjacent room, with both doors closed while I'm trying to sleep...smell the cheap aftershave my neighbour uses in the morning through a slightly opened window...wake up at exactly 3:33am every morning, but I can't get up nor go back to sleep...it is annoying!

Meanwhile, the whole mattress seems to 'move' under me, and you could fry eggs at a distance of 2 and a half inches from my back...but when I place my hand directly on my spine, it is freezing cold compared with the rest of my body.

When stuff like that happens, you pretty much know what you're dealing with.

All the best and I'm sorry to hear you are feeling that way and I hope you find the cause and a solution soon.

[Clover]

Originally Posted by Shivani Devi

However, the symptoms of Kundalini awakening are not exactly the same across the board.

In my case, I was sexually aroused basically all the time and with all the physical discomfort, the fatigue and nerve spasms, I also had the experience of an expansion of consciousness, universal understanding and inner satisfaction.

In some cases, it is explosive (as it was in mine), leaving no doubt as to what was happening inside me, like the pressure behind a volcanic plug just before a volcano erupts directly up the spine.

.

I would say this was similarly my experience as well. The energy circuits were going though the roof, sexual energy was just fire.



Reading the OP’s Analysis, I almost want to say that sounds almost like a Deficiency of some sort, maybe even low testosterone levels, very common in men approaching into their 30’s but hey, I am no doc, at any case eating healthy and staying hydrated is pivitol regardless of what is going on.


Something to look into: Click. Ascension Signs and Symptoms of Spiritual Awakening and Expanded Consciousness