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Go Back   Spiritual Forums > Spirituality & Beliefs > Soulmates & Twin Flames

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  #1  
Old 18-01-2019, 11:22 AM
Baybee123 Baybee123 is offline
Knower
Join Date: Oct 2015
Posts: 133
 
I’m actually very lost

I met this guy (Tf I think) via social media in March last year. We started chatting and became very good friends. We started sharing everything with each other. He’s the only person I go to when I need to share something very very deep. He understands me so well and at times we don’t even have to talk we understand each other’s mind.
He’s 11 years younger than me, lives oceans apart from me, I’m (unhappily) married and have a child. Me and my husband are together just for the child as we want them to have both their parents whilst growing up.
We fell in love just after a few weeks but we both knew that there was no future as we have completely different ways to go in life. Hence we never really talked about the future or anything except the present moment and life issues in general.
We met twice (8 months after our first chat) since March and the last time we met I spent 4 days with him and that kind of changed the whole chemistry. The bond got stronger and I’m now really really praying silently that I get to be with him forever.
He’s like “I love you very much but I can’t promise that I won’t have any other women in my life. You are my family and I won’t let you go ever”. If I was in a position to ask for commitments then I probably would but at the moment I’m just listening to what he says but my heart cries when I think of him with anyone else.
Sometimes he gives me hints and says things like “we will be together” “I’ll marry in the future but I’ll not have kids (he knows I don’t want more kids) “we will do all that you want to do but you need to have patience and trust me and wait”
Ok what is all that about if he’s not thinking of us? Is he trying to say I’ll sleep with women but I wanna be with you in the end?
If you really love someone can you really sleep with anyone else? This question is for men in particular as I don’t know how they think. As for me I would never ever be able to sleep with anyone else if I’m in love with someone.
All this is confusing me. I don’t know if I should keep him in my life and let things flow naturally or if I should let him go? Because I’m finding it hard to live thinking is he sleeping with someone?
I really love him and I think love is keeping me blind?
Please help.. what would you do if you were me?

Last edited by Baybee123 : 18-01-2019 at 03:04 PM.
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  #2  
Old 18-01-2019, 01:41 PM
Inika Inika is offline
Master
Join Date: May 2015
Posts: 2,345
 
Quote:
Please help.. what would you do if you were me?
um....stop trying to possess his penis while you yourself sleep with another man aka husband?

i had to giggle at where you say how can you love someone and sleep with someone else.....

you know people who do that? People with no integrity.

why is being between the legs of another woman so bad? its sex.....why are people so possessive and owning of another and their body?
Why must you expect love means no affection for another not only on your own self but impose that expectation on another?

so while all this garbage possesive lust covered up to seem like love is going around in your head....trapped in an unhappy marriage. do you think his heart cries at you being married to someone else? Is this why other woman are on his mind?

i mean this is so twin flame that i dont understand why its got no hits!

obsession via debauchery.

you'll forget him in 2 years.
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  #3  
Old 18-01-2019, 01:55 PM
Lorelyen
Posts: n/a
 
Sorry to read about your confusion. I doubt you're alone in not knowing how men think. I get the idea is that they aren't much in contact with their emotions - result of social conditioning really - they tend to bury them. Also as I see it, love doesn't have much to do with sex which arises from very deep drives that seem to work differently with men and women. You can indulge as a means of slaking lusts without being in love and even if believing you are it won't necessarily last. For an intimate relationship to go on there has to be a deeper bond. However, part of developing a relationship does mean coming up with common rules and this may include sexual fidelity. It's important in most conventional relationships but isn't always adhered to.

It's really necessary to judge the act and deed rather than the word though. You'l read of many members here who feel they have been duped, misled or betrayed because they trusted the word. Love is about gestures and these are usually subtle, about how the people regard each other in the things they do, the compromises they make and the willingness to support in times of trouble.

Maybe best to let it float meanwhile going about your life enjoying yourself, having fun. Remember he isn't alone. Just as he can sleep with other women, you can with other men. He may be genuine; he may be stringing you along - I can't know which. But out and about you may meet someone perhaps more settled and ready to commit, then you can put this guy into the past. The nice memories will still be there and shouldn't clutter the future.

Good luck. :)
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  #4  
Old 18-01-2019, 02:44 PM
Baybee123 Baybee123 is offline
Knower
Join Date: Oct 2015
Posts: 133
 
@inika

FYI I haven’t slept with my husband or anyone else for the past 5 years. Before judging anyone it’s good to know the full story I think. But thanks for taking the time to write what you think.
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  #5  
Old 18-01-2019, 02:47 PM
Baybee123 Baybee123 is offline
Knower
Join Date: Oct 2015
Posts: 133
 
Thank you so much Lorelyen. It felt so nice to read this and it kind of reminded me to live in the moment and let future be what it needs to be. Thank you 🙏
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  #6  
Old 18-01-2019, 03:55 PM
ssdm1 ssdm1 is offline
Guide
Join Date: Apr 2016
Posts: 652
 
Quote:
Originally Posted by Baybee123
I met this guy (Tf I think) via social media in March last year. We started chatting and became very good friends. We started sharing everything with each other. He’s the only person I go to when I need to share something very very deep. He understands me so well and at times we don’t even have to talk we understand each other’s mind.
He’s 11 years younger than me, lives oceans apart from me, I’m (unhappily) married and have a child. Me and my husband are together just for the child as we want them to have both their parents whilst growing up.
We fell in love just after a few weeks but we both knew that there was no future as we have completely different ways to go in life. Hence we never really talked about the future or anything except the present moment and life issues in general.
We met twice (8 months after our first chat) since March and the last time we met I spent 4 days with him and that kind of changed the whole chemistry. The bond got stronger and I’m now really really praying silently that I get to be with him forever.
He’s like “I love you very much but I can’t promise that I won’t have any other women in my life. You are my family and I won’t let you go ever”. If I was in a position to ask for commitments then I probably would but at the moment I’m just listening to what he says but my heart cries when I think of him with anyone else.
Sometimes he gives me hints and says things like “we will be together” “I’ll marry in the future but I’ll not have kids (he knows I don’t want more kids) “we will do all that you want to do but you need to have patience and trust me and wait”
Ok what is all that about if he’s not thinking of us? Is he trying to say I’ll sleep with women but I wanna be with you in the end?
If you really love someone can you really sleep with anyone else? This question is for men in particular as I don’t know how they think. As for me I would never ever be able to sleep with anyone else if I’m in love with someone.
All this is confusing me. I don’t know if I should keep him in my life and let things flow naturally or if I should let him go? Because I’m finding it hard to live thinking is he sleeping with someone?
I really love him and I think love is keeping me blind?
Please help.. what would you do if you were me?

Baybee I know exactly how you're feeling, I've been there.

Here's what I've learned so maybe this may help. For us women, at least me, "love" is emotion. We feel it deep and any physical act is about the love we feel for the other person. For men (at least my twin) they seem to be able to be with any woman physically with little to no emotion involved. It's just the physical feeling of sex.

My twin struggles with emotion especially love. He is committed to someone else yet still wants me. This is a difficult path and only you will know what the right answer for your situation.

I hope that helps some.
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  #7  
Old 18-01-2019, 07:09 PM
Inika Inika is offline
Master
Join Date: May 2015
Posts: 2,345
 
sorry for judging you
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  #8  
Old 19-01-2019, 02:15 AM
Lucky Lucky is offline
Guide
Join Date: Feb 2017
Posts: 527
 
Love yourself enough, first and foremost.
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  #9  
Old 28-01-2019, 06:03 PM
Baybee123 Baybee123 is offline
Knower
Join Date: Oct 2015
Posts: 133
 
Thank you @ssdm1

Wonder why men are the way they are 🤔
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  #10  
Old 28-01-2019, 06:04 PM
Baybee123 Baybee123 is offline
Knower
Join Date: Oct 2015
Posts: 133
 
@lucky thank you that’s something I’ve been working on but it’s all very confusing as to what is self love and what isn’t
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