Need advice please with TF

[seachild]

Hello, I am really doing my best to remain positive, focus on the good. Major issues happened with my TF and I in February where he befriended a young co worker whom had a crush on him. I feel he was also interested in her too. I felt so upset at the time, and it nearly ended our relationship.

In March we had a mini holiday together, hoping it will reconnect us back stronger. It did, until Month of April, I was sensing distance, snappyness and still distance? I want to manifest the relationship I want with him. I know I have been fearful and focussed on the lack. So I am focussing on what I want. Focussing on the positive even if he is being snappy tom with me. I love him very much, and feel lucky he is in my life. I get the wobbles when there is discord.

I want my partner/TF to be more attentive and loving.
I want my partner and I to communicate openly and honestly together.
I want my partner and I to have a decent happy loving longlasting relationship together.
I want my partner to show his love to me.

Just a few examples of what I want

What advice can you give me to help me with my relationship. Thank you so much

[Holly]

The course of twin flame love rarely seems to run smoothly ;)

I think the only tool you really have at your disposal if communication. you want things you're clearly not getting, and he's clearly being distant, so you need to find out why, and be prepared to hear "I still love so-and-so" if it comes, because that's what the sort of behaviour you're describing often means. Either that or he's just plain unhappy at the mo, either with you or something happening in his own life. (Maybe some of his wants aren't being fulfilled??)

Better to know the truth than live a lie.

In fairness though, I'd start with an open ended question. Try and talk to him and find out what's going on. And try not to be threatening or confrontational ;) Or he's unlikely to open up.

[Mused]

Talk to him, tell him what you said here. You need to know whats really going on, and whether he wants to work on this. Just listen to what he has to say without judgement.

[seachild]

I did ask if he was alright with me a few nights ago and if there were any problem? He got annoyed because he asked why do I ask him that? I said I just wanted to see if there was any problem?

So I think if there was a problem he would have told me.

I did say to him recently I like it when you smile, and when you smile at me. His reply I am sorry I am not myself. He does do nightshift, body clock all over the place. I feel I will ask more if his attitude towards me still continues after the Mercury Retrograde finishes.

Thank you

[QT Pie]

Originally Posted by seachild

I want my partner/TF to be more attentive and loving.
I want my partner and I to communicate openly and honestly together.
I want my partner and I to have a decent happy loving longlasting relationship together.
I want my partner to show his love to me.

Buy a puppy.
This does not come to fulfill your dreams of a perfect partnership. It comes to perfect you.


Buy a puppy.

[seachild]

Thanks for your thoughtsful reply QT Pie.... erm NOT!!!!

If I wanted to talk about getting a puppy I would have.

[QT Pie]

I only mean that if you are looking for something soft a twin flame just isn't that. It's all about stretching you out not yielding to your desires. It's about learning to love strait through all those things and in a way that is loving and respectful to you too.

When you desire a thing to be different than it is, that is not unconditional love. And if it's truly a TF thing you'll get kicked in the teeth every time you try to paint it in your mind as something else. Truly, I apologise my sarcasm did not go down well, but a puppy would fulfill those desires far better than expecting your TF (or anyone actually) ever could.

[seachild]

My apologies too QT Pie, I am sorry. I didn't pick up on your sarcasm

Thinking initially on your first reply. I felt the message was the Universe saying for me to relax. I have been getting caught up with this rollercoaster.



You are right thou. My twin is helping me to love myself first, not put him on a pedestal. He is always on my mind thou. I wish it was easy being with them :)


Sending you Blessings

[Mused]

Originally Posted by seachild

I did ask if he was alright with me a few nights ago and if there were any problem? He got annoyed because he asked why do I ask him that? I said I just wanted to see if there was any problem?

So I think if there was a problem he would have told me.

Why do you think he got defensive? I would understand if he feels you ask him that a lot, but for a one time thing...

Its totally ok for you to talk about what bothers you, in a kind manner of course. Do you feel you are asking too much of him?

[seachild]

In his mind he probably thinks I ask him a lot. Because of the month of April his behaviour up and down, I wanted to ask to open him up. Nope that door came swinging back fast lol.

I have always gone by peoples body language and facial expressions, eye contact. His body language was telling me something off. Lack of eye contact. So I am just wanting to be a caring partner, I wouldn't bark if he asked me. So I have left it now, I am sure if he has a problem he would let me know.

Our communication together isn't great either. I am not sure why it is. I am always communicating with people, especially in healthcare the industry I work in. I don't have a problem communicating with others, but I do with my TF. I feel his wall up on me, so I shut down. Its not all the time, but even if I am talking he mostly comments to turn it around and either put what I have said down, or something. I would love it to be an area of our relationship that just opens up and we can talk about anything without upset. It baffles me.