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Go Back   Spiritual Forums > Spirituality & Beliefs > Healing

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  #31  
Old 31-07-2018, 12:45 AM
7luminaries 7luminaries is offline
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As we can see...there are an awful lot of ways to experience sexual abuse and they all leave scars.
Abuse or rape as a child leaves deep scars.
So does abuse or rape as an adult.
Marital or committed partner abuse or rape is another layer of harm and betrayal, one that is very commonly overlooked.

I'll go one further...many today also experience abuse and rape in relationship IMO but don't name it as such because they realise they are being used and penetrated without love. Meaning, their realisation makes many feel complicit and thus reluctant to name the truth.

Same with those doing the using and penetrating, but the tendency toward denial is often 10x stronger in that case...because it would be extremely difficult for many to look in the mirror, so they must desperately cling to the notion that it's ok to commit emotional and spiritual rape, and to commit what physically feels like rape to many on the receiving end...so long as it didn't involve outright coercion (like the use of alcohol or force) in the penetration or abuse, or not too much of it anyway.

A fair amount of "committed relationship" or marital sex is like this when authentic love is lacking. In any sexual act, if a partner comes to the act without their full and engaged authentically loving presence, it is a spiritually, emotionally, and physically caustic and traumatic event. I.e., penetration and touching without love, or with apathy or anger, or whilst drunk or high, or whilst thinking of another & using the partner as an outlet, etc.

One of the greatest spiritual harms we can endure is to be penetrated or touched intimately without the presence of an authentic love for our person, for our soul, even a single time. And particularly long-term or on a repeated basis. This is such a powerful and fundamental aspect aspect of What Is that IMO once you experience the truth of it in your own way -- and many of us here already have done -- you could never go back to "the body is banal so (since it doesn't matter) then give us a shag" mindset.

The way we begin to heal, IMO, is to first and foremost to take ownership of our lives on every level and give ourselves permission to be powerful, creative, resourceful, inspiring, sanctified, divine, and whole in our manifest lives. At the most fundamental level, this means protecting, caring for, and nurturing our hearts and our bodies. It means being present with ourselves with authentic love

The most critical thing to do first is to stop the bleeding and withdraw from all sexual activity outside the context of a deep and abiding mutual authentic love. Including IMO saying "no" to spouses or partners whenever they do not, will not, or cannot relate to you or be present with you with a deep, mutual and abiding authentic love. For some, partner rape or sexual coercion will continue until and unless they leave the relationship...which is appalling and an obvious source of trauma.

In caring for the most basic, fundamental integrity of our hearts and bodies in this way, we teach ourselves to find authentic love for our person non-sexually whilst we heal...whether from beloved family, friends, mentors, neighbours, guides, and fellow travellers alike. So that the sex we have is with those we share a deep and abiding mutual love, whereby the sex is not caustic, corrosive, and damaging to our souls over the long haul. But rather whereby it is and continues to be a source of integral goodness. joy, sustenance, and healing.

Peace & blessings, and much love & light to all
7L
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Bound by conventions, people tend to reach for what is easy.

Here we must be unafraid of what is difficult.

For all living beings in nature must unfold in their particular way

and become themselves despite all opposition.

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  #32  
Old 09-02-2019, 01:25 AM
Sapphirez Sapphirez is offline
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I was not raped thankfully, but abused by a close family member, paternal grandpa..

At least in years I can remember I was not very angry and didn't wish him harm though some others have.. We stopped communicating with that side of the family besides my dad who was already estranged from them when I admitted what happened when I was about 14 years old. and they said I was probably making it up for attention *sigh* We did try to press charges but as many of you probably discovered that isn't easy to do and so we couldn't, which is fine by me now..


The biggest thing I had to deal with is accepting the fact that I am not tainted or dirtied or made less than because of the experience and being preyed on. Once we can believe that we are still wonderful worthwhile divine beings, well that is the main step to healing. also of course there's often guilt and shame and such attached in different ways, which should not be owned or adopted by us.

One of the most powerful things I did to help heal from this is EFT (Emotional Freedom Technique) and I think it could help others who still feel in need of a little resolution and clearing. Please don't hesitate giving it a try if you do. You are whole and healing constantly, yourself and others with your mere presence, and deserve to feel accordingly <3
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