DivineOne, I'm so sorry for your troubles. Please be of good faith and above all reach out if despair threatens to overwhelm.
My take is that there is a larger divine truth that we are all here to realise and express and co-create. You too are a vital and necessary part of the divine whole and of our reality right here and now. We need your contribution to the whole. We need to see that no one trait or quality is the purview of men or of women. We equally need to see that there is no one right way or one best way to be a man or a woman, or to define a man or a woman.
We need to see above all that LOVE is the only truth, ultimately, and that biology is not "destiny" unless we slavishly submit ourselves at every turn to that so-called truth. Eugenics would have us believe that all is in our genes, including our upper limits. What rubbish. In fact, our DNA is highly malleable and is at every moment subject to the influence of Spirit and of our material environment, both. In fact, the full extent to which our DNA is highly malleable has just barely begun to be realised...those the mystics of the ages have always known this to be true.
The core of who you are is neither man nor woman, but is only truth and love. Those core traits with which you most resonate...that is who you are here and now, which is eternal. Be prepared to surprise those who seek to limit you and conscribe you as this or that. Ignore it, simply ignore it and be who you are. Be the truth you wish to see in the world.
Peace & blessings, and much love & light!
Bound by conventions, people tend to reach for what is easy.
Here we must be unafraid of what is difficult.
For all living beings in nature must unfold in their particular way
and become themselves despite all opposition.
-- Rainer Maria Rilke